madaming gustong i share sa life �
20/11/2024
NAKAKAINIS! MY SPOUSE DOES NOT MEET MY NEEDS!
I was working in a cafe around 630pm, gutom na ako. I ordered this tapsilog. Pagdating na pagdating ng order ko, nagtext ang misis ko, “Lab, dito ka ba kakain?”
I was about to reply, “Hindi na. Nakaorder na ako ng pagkain. Tsaka ang dami ko pang kailangang tapusing trabaho.”
Buti na lang mabagal ako mag type. She replied, “Nagluluto ako ng roast beef.”
At that point, may choice ako.
1. Pwede ako tumanggi at i-explain na sayang ‘yung inorder ko at kailangang kailangan kong tapusin yung ginagawa ko. After all, that’s what I need the most at that moment.
Or 2. Ipa-take-out yung tapsilog ko, umuwi agad at kumain kasabay ng mag-iina ko para hindi magalit ang misis ko. (Husbands, you know what I am talking about. Kahit busog ka na, kapag nagluto ang misis mo, kainin mo ang inihain niya.) Happy wife, happy life! Happy spouse, happy house!
I chose #2. Why?
Duh?! Of course, because I am wise enough to protect my own peace that night! Joke!
Kidding aside, at that moment, I felt a nudge from the Lord to choose #2; not because my needs aren’t important, but because I don’t want to waste my wife’s simple act of love.
When she decided to cook, she was thinking of me. She was putting me before herself. It may not be what I feel I needed best at that moment, but I can’t just put that act of selflessness to waste.
Today, many people feel unloved in their marriage/relationship because they have needs that aren’t met by their partner.
What they don’t realize is that there are many times that their partner is trying to love them. Kaya lang, masyado tayong naka-focus sa needs natin, sa gusto natin, sa paraang gusto natin tayo’y mahalin. I get that people have different love languages, and we wish that our partners love us the way we want and need. Dapat sana alam ng partner natin ang love language natin ‘di ba?
But isn’t it the point of knowing about love languages?
Instead of being annoyed and disappointed that our spouse doesn’t love us in our love language, I believe it is meant to make us better lovers. And being a better lover means we should listen more to the unspoken “I love you’s”. Being a better lover is seeing that our partners may actually be loving us with their best—even if it’s not what we need the most at that moment.
Pag-uwi ko, sabi ng misis ko, “O bakit may dala kang tapsilog?”
Sabi ko, “Nakaorder na kasi ako nung nagtext ka. Pero pinagluto ako ng misis ko, kayo pinabalot ko na lang!”
Woohoo! “Velden Lim 3 points!”
Hindi man niya sabihin, pero hindi maitago ang kilig sa mga mata niya.
Your spouse may not always meet your needs, but it does not mean that they don’t love you.
Kaya ‘wag ka nang mainis kasi malamang sa malamang mahal ka ng asawa/partner mo. Baka nabulag ka lang, nabingi, namanhid… kasi masyado kang nakatingin sa sarili mo.
