11/05/2020
Dear New Zealand,
We have a confession to make.
You know when you’re having a bit of fun tussling with your brother, and then your mum sends you both to your rooms, and then you miss him? That’s kind of how we feel about you right now.
We only tease you because sometimes we get jealous. It’s not because of how often you smash us in the rugby, or the fact that the haka actually does make us tremble at the knees. No, let’s get real for a moment. For starters, you don’t have snakes.
What you do have, are some of the friendliest people on this planet. So warm, so welcoming, so happy to share your traditions and treat your visitors like family. The highlight for us is the hāngi. Some might call it an underground oven. But we tend to think it’s more about handing the reigns over to Mother Nature and being rewarded with a feast.
There’s something else about your people though. When faced with adversity you come together and, despite your size, prove your resilience and strength. The world looks up to you – a credit we wouldn’t dream of stealing.
What we can’t quite comprehend though, is how you are able to fit everything in. Subtropical forests, beaches, glaciers, lakes, fjords, hot springs. And Milford Sound … now that’s just showing off! Tell us, where do you keep all the sheep?
Unsurprisingly, you do sometimes give us a bit of a complex, what with your fluffy white ski-fields, white-water rapids, extreme bungee, and caves that literally sparkle with the light of a thousand glow worms. But that’s ok, you deserve to shine in that spotlight.
At the rate we’re both going you might be the first one we get to tussle with again, which we secretly love. But don’t tell the others!
Anyway, since we’re sharing a bit of a moment right now, we thought we should finally give back something that belongs to you.
Russell Crowe. But we’re keeping Pavlova.
Kia Ora.
Australia
Ps. Please write back. And send us some Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc.