East Coast Transplant, A Widows journey Vpg
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I have just moved to the East Coast as I deal with the realities Grief, becoming a widow, losing our business, home & COVID forcing a change & a move.
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Why My New Normal?
Nov. 1st, My husband Bob had a stroke, the bad kind, in the bad place and it took 3 months of me sleeping in a hospital chair and having a nervious breakdown before the doctors finally admitted he was not going to get better, more infections, more pain, more brain damage from the bloodpools that were still there. This was not how Bob wanted to live.. painfully, not himself, in bed and not able to think or remember me or his life. He never ate again and passed away at Dorothy Lay Hopsice, a wonderful place that I think saved my mind.
Our love was great - his second marriage but a different one, no children, fun, adventure, trying stuff out, being kids, playing hooky to go to wine taskings, road trips to the grand canyon all while working for ourselves. I am 55 now - Bob died one month before his 77th. Birthday. In our time together I have been between 315lbs and 165lbs - more than once. So yes... lots of other life topics too. We had almost 19 years of adventures together. My souls is crushed by his absense.
My pain, my grief, my world has all changed. I quite my part time BIA Job that I loved, I closed our on line toy store, my friends, family and community gathered round, supported us, physically, financially and spiritually. They saved my Christmas orders so I wouldn’t loose everything. But as much as I made plans for him to come home... he died after just 4 days in the hopice.
So - everyone says new normal? I try to heal, join councelling - (I have lots of experince on the couch) and I am finding my way but then COVID Isolation. F**K - this is hard enough - Then my Mom Dies. F**k - no funeral, we did see her to say good bye but someone tested positive at the home - so we spent 3 nights worrying till the test results come back.
