26/06/2015
25 Things That Coach Drivers Can Relate To
1. Being bang on time on your way to a pick up, then someone pulls out in front of you (when there was nothing else behind you) and drives at precisely 39mph.
2. Arriving at your pick up point at 08.45am as requested, you hired a spare driver to cover your regular run to allow you to get there on time…… passengers board your coach at 9.10am!!!!!!!
3. Hoovering your coach seats and still finding sand 6 months after your one trip to the seaside.
4. Pulling up to a stop on time yet passengers begin checking their watches in that overly obvious way!
5. The disheartening feeling of seeing a piece of squashed chewing gum on your coach, usually right after you have deep cleaned it!
6. Being told by the teacher in charge that they have checked the coach and there is no litter or lost property left. Upon returning to the yard you find half a bin bag full of rubbish, three school jumpers and one shoe!
7. Receiving a complaint from a parent that the coach left 1 minute early and little Johnny missed the bus!
8. The apparent and endless entertainment value of ashtrays, arm rests and foot rests on primary school trips.
9. Getting back to the yard with milliseconds to spare on your tacho following a trip to a concert where you were told that you would be leaving at 9.30pm, but actually left at 9.55pm as everyone was in the queue for the toilets and then seeing the sign ‘Motorway closed – follow diversion’!!!!!!!!
10. Your keen eye for stealthily stashed alcoholic beverages after years of night jobs.
11. The feeling of dread upon hearing the words “I say driver…..” uttered from behind.
12. Whilst dropping off on a night job and hearing “can you drop me off at my house, you can turn around in my road” …… hmmmm.
13. The pleasure of finding £1.73 in change after cleaning out your coach ….oh well, finders keepers eh?
14. Thinking you are being a coach driver extraordinaire by asking your regular pensioners group if they would like to go home on the scenic coastal route as it is such a lovely day then being shot down in flames with the response “ooh no, Countdown final starts at 4.30pm and I don’t want to miss it”!
15. Hearing the words “Miss, I don’t feel very well” on a 20 minute journey.
16. The silent chuckle you do to yourself when you hear one passenger say to another “ooh look, we are doing 100mph”…. that would be KPH.
17. Tractors and cyclists ….. enough said!
18. Finding that the theatre you are supposed to be dropping at is surrounded by double yellow lines and seeing the traffic warden coming up the road.
19. Pulling a funny face as you pull in to a venue and a bus spotter dives in front of your coach, takes a photo and begins frantically scribbling in a notebook.
20. The slightly rebellious feeling of sneaking down the bus lane during rush hour.
21. Pulling up to a primary school to pick up for a residential trip only to find that the bus park is full of cars owned by parents waiting to wave their little darlings off for the eternity that is a 3 day trip. This is almost always followed by number 22.
22. Picking up for a short break and finding that every passenger has an extra large suitcase, a rucksack, sleeping bag, wellies and a bag full of sweets that could save a small country from starvation. Passengers look surprised when the lockers (including the drivers bunk) are full and you inform them that they will have to take some luggage on board the coach.
23. Arriving at a destination and just as you are about to lock the coach and go for a walk, you notice two passengers still on the coach who inform you that they just want to sit on the coach ….. that’s your morning sorted then.
24. Getting to a junction whilst driving to a destination of unknown location in the middle of nowhere, the SatNav fails you so you ask if anyone has been to this place before, no one apparently has so you make a judgement call. LEFT. At this point someone will always say “we should have gone right there”. And so begins the reversing manoeuvre of the year and the rest of the day is spent with people staring at the small rainforest attached to your mirrors.
25. Feeling like a warrior during a set to with a car driver with a full load of school kids on board who are shouting “fight, fight, fight”!