DoSo! Coaching & Counseling

05/09/2024

"My wake-up call came on a warm September morning, exactly 17 years ago. I opened my eyes. I tried to look around but I could not move, as there were needles and pipes attached to every part of my body. I wanted to say something but I had a tube in my throat. It was a respirator.

After a while, the nurse noticed that I was awake and came over to my bed. She smiled and said “Good morning” in a nice calming tone, then gave me a pen and paper. My hand shaking, I wrote, “What happened?” She told me that the doctor would be with me shortly.

The last thing I remembered was that I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. There were complications with my placenta, though, so I had to be operated on under full anesthetic. I remember feeling scared and exhausted but I pretended to be calm and relaxed, as I didn’t want to take anything away from my husband’s experience of that joyful moment.

I just asked how long it would take. The doctor assured me that I would be back with my baby and husband within two hours. So when I noticed that it was seven o’clock, I thought it was seven that evening. It turned out to be the morning of the next day. And I was lying in intensive care. That night my life was hanging on a thin thread."

This is the beginning on my book Career Jump! and my own story, which put me on the path of changing my career, and doing the job I love - being a coach. Although at the time, I liked my job as internal auditor, I always deep down inside knew I wanted to do something I was passionate about and something had a deeper meaning for me.

This was my wake up call, which I decided not to ignore anymore. I was given a second chance not to be wasted.

Today I am celebrating the 17th birthday of our amazing daughter Julia. As all parents we are proud of her. I am proud also of myself that I did take my life in my own hands and although being international in the NL was not always easy I decided to turn all the weaknesses into strengths. And so I became an international purpose-driven career coach in Amsterdam.

I do not want to sound like I am preaching, but I want to let you know that if you have that silent voice in you saying "you can do more, you can do something different in your life and career" do NOT ignore it.

Listen to it intently and hear what it is saying. It takes courage to go against the flaw but so worth it. You can do it!

Sending all the love today and positive thoughts.

03/09/2024

🫣 “If I speak up, I’ll be judged or rejected.”

😞 “Only people in higher positions can speak up.”

🙅🏻‍♀️ “I don’t want to bother other with my needs.”

Instead what if you thought:

💡 "If I speak up, I have the opportunity to share valuable insights."

💁🏻‍♀️ “Everyone’s voice matters, regardless of their position.”

💗 "My needs are important and valid."

Self advocacy isn’t just about changing your inner dialogue. It’s about starting a positive cycle which impacts your career in a positive matter like:

✅ Gaining access to resources by clearly communicating your needs

✅ Helps you showcase your achievements, skills, and contributions, leading to greater recognition from colleagues, managers, and stakeholders

✅ Advocating for yourself positions you for promotions, raises, and leadership roles

✅ Helps in taking control of your narrative and make you more self confident

✅ Fosters a mindset of resilience and continuous growth

✅ Helps in building a supportive network of allies and mentors who can provide guidance, support, and advocacy on your behalf.

Remember, your actions and decisions today will shape your future.

Ready to work on your career progression?

Send me a DM and I will send you a copy of brand new workbook “Self-advocacy at Work: Empowering Your Voice & Tracking Your Growth”

02/09/2024

Whether you’re seeking a promotion, negotiating a raise, or simply aiming to make your voice heard, mastering the art of self-advocacy can transform your career trajectory.

But how do you start? Here are some powerful tools to help you advocate for yourself effectively:

1️⃣ Understanding Your Own Needs and Goals:

Reflect on what you need from your work and how you can communicate these needs effectively.

2️⃣Hype Doc:

👉🏻 A Hype Doc is a digital document that showcases your professional and personal achievements, goals, strengths, and key projects.

👉🏻 It can include:

-- Professional Goals: Where you want to see yourself in 1, 3, or 5 years.

-- Key Skills and Talents: Both hard and soft skills.

-- Key Achievements: A record of significant milestones in your career.

-- Testimonials and Evaluations: Positive feedback from bosses, colleagues, or clients.

-- Certifications and Courses: Relevant professional qualifications.

-- Awards and Publications: Any recognitions or articles you've contributed to.

-- Public Appearances: Participation in conferences, podcasts, or interviews.

👉🏻 The Hype Doc can be used during evaluations, job interviews, self-reflection, and for sharing with others to boost your self-confidence.

3️⃣ Speaking Up:

One of the main tools for self-advocacy is simply raising your voice and communicating your needs and achievements.

4️⃣ Building Powerful Relationships:

👉🏻 Identify Internal Connections:

Make a list of your colleagues, bosses, and key stakeholders.

👉🏻 Identify Allies and Gatekeepers:

Determine who supports you (allies) and who might be hindering your progress (gatekeepers).

👉🏻 Understand Their Needs:

Put yourself in their shoes to understand their challenges and how you can help them.

👉🏻 Networking:

Mix formal and informal interactions to strengthen relationships within your organization.

Ready to work on your career progression?

Send me a DM and I will send you a copy of brand new workbook “Self-advocacy at Work: Empowering Your Voice & Tracking Your Growth”

29/08/2024

😍The honeymoon phase of leadership in a new country can be exhilarating. Everything feels fresh, and you're eager to take on the world.

😖However, challenges soon arise—leading in a new culture can be tough. You may struggle to understand different ways of thinking and working.

😮‍💨Over time, you start to adjust, adapting your leadership style and learning to navigate the new environment.

😌Eventually, you find your rhythm. You feel more confident, comfortable, and capable of leading effectively.

If you've ever taken on a leadership role in a new culture, these phases may be familiar.

Leading in a new country has its challenges, but here are some ways to make the transition smoother:

➡️ Recognize that adjusting to a new cultural leadership style is normal. Most leaders experience these growing pains.

➡️ Educate yourself on the local business culture and leadership expectations before you start. Understanding nuances can prevent missteps.

➡️ If possible, visit the country ahead of time to observe and experience workplace dynamics.

➡️ Learning the local language (or key phrases) can make a huge difference. Communication is crucial, and effort in language builds team relationships.

➡️ Build relationships with local colleagues. Understand their perspectives, attend events, and get involved in the community.

➡️ Don’t hesitate to ask for support if you're unsure about cultural expectations. Seeking guidance shows humility and builds trust.

➡️ Focus on the positives of the new business culture. What strengths can you leverage to be a better leader?

➡️ Avoid assuming your leadership style is "better." Every culture has unique strengths—find a balance.

➡️ A common mistake is assuming things will work as they did in your previous country. For example, a nod might not mean agreement—it’s essential to read between the lines.

➡️ Communication is key. Ask questions to clarify meaning, and check in regularly with your team to ensure you're on the same page.

What was the biggest cultural leadership challenge you faced when you moved to the Netherlands? Let’s share stories! 👇

19/08/2024

I’m a true bookworm. These are my absolute top 3—I swear by them! They’ll completely change how you view communication, leadership, and negotiation. Honestly, these might just be the best self-help books I’ve ever read:

"Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss - This one’s a game-changer. Chris Voss, a former FBI negotiator, teaches the art of negotiation in a way that’s both practical and powerful. It’s not just about striking deals; it’s about communicating effectively to build stronger relationships at work.

This book inspired me so much that I took a one-on-one coaching sessions with the Black Swan Group—it was an incredible experience that deepened my understanding of negotiation and communication even further.

"Quiet Leadership" by David Rock - I’ve always believed that great leadership starts with understanding the people you lead. Rock’s book dives into neuroscience-based strategies that help you lead with insight. If you’re looking to inspire your team, boost productivity, and create a positive work environment, this is a must-read.

I was so inspired that I also completed coaching studies at the NeuroLeadership Institute, founded by David Rock. The insights I gained have been invaluable in enhancing my coaching approach.

"Games People Play" by Eric Berne - This one really opened my eyes—and my clients' eyes too. Understanding the psychological games we all play can transform the way we interact with others, both personally and professionally.

Berne’s insights into human behavior have not only helped my clients to navigate workplace dynamics with more empathy and effectiveness but also provided my clients with a simple yet powerful communication mechanism that has significantly improved their professional relationships and private ones too.

Have you read any of these? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

29/07/2024

How do you prepare for the most common but often most dreaded interview questions?

Before you respond, consider the intention behind the question: What is the recruiter trying to find out? In most cases, it will be one of these three crucial things:

Do you have the right skills to do the job?

Will you love the job?

Will you fit into the team?

Keep the "relevance rule" in mind. Before answering, think about how relevant your response is to the job you're applying for.

Thanks for the inspiration for that post/graphic Justin Mecham.

25/07/2024

During most evaluation conversations, we are often told to keep on working on our weaknesses 🤔

We are sent to different training courses, coaching programs, etc. that needs us to do better at our job 🪜

What often remains neglected in those conversations is that our greatest weaknesses actually point us in the direction of our biggest strength.

We often do not realise that both our talents and weaknesses belong to the same “coin” and represent both sides of it: there cannot be light if there is no darkness, there cannot be good without evil and there cannot be empathy without egoism. 🪙

You can use this for your own development in a different way as follows:

1️⃣ List Your Talents: Write down all your strengths and then consider their shadow sides. Which of these strengths sometimes get out of control?

2️⃣ Dose Your Talents: Think about how you can balance your talents. What strategies can you put in place to stay in your power and avoid the pitfalls?

3️⃣ Identify Shadow Talents: Make a list of these shadow talents and reflect on the core positive qualities they hint at.

4️⃣ Spot Your Allergies: Think about the behaviors in others that irritate you the most. Analyze these to uncover your own challenges, pitfalls, and core talents.

5️⃣ Embrace Both: Reflect on how you can acknowledge and embrace both your talents and your challenges simultaneously.

How will YOU turn your weaknesses into your strength? Share in the comments below! 👇🏻

22/07/2024

✅ Find out what recruiters really want to hear during the job interview

✅ Make a defined action plan

✅ Learn what mistakes you might be making in your CV and Cover Letter and how to fix them

✅ Get your CV / CL reviewed in detail by a professional

✅ Defining a strategy for your job search

✅ Get your LinkedIn profile reviewed in detail

✅ Learn how to effectively search for a job in the Netherlands

✅ Learn how to approach the hidden job market (40% of the job market)

✅ Learn how to successfully use social media in your job search

✅ Learn how to use your network in order to get a job

✅ Access to DoSo! extended network

This and a lot more

I can help you if you are you looking for a job in the Netherlands but feel stuck at the moment.

DM COACH to book a free 20-minute session with me to find out more

18/07/2024

We spent hours, days, months, and years at work 👩🏻‍💻👩🏻‍💻👩🏻‍💻👩🏻‍💻👩🏻‍💻

How we function at work has a great impact on our functioning in all other areas. That is why it is so important to have work that we truly enjoy.

And when do we enjoy working? When the job that we do is our passion 💪🏻

In a dynamic and ever-evolving job landscape, having a coach who understands your unique aspirations can make all the difference.

With the right career coaching, you will find out which career path is right for you and what steps you need to take to achieve your professional goals. 🎯

Furthermore, you will discover what stops you from getting where you want to be and how to overcome those obstacles. 🦘

During coaching sessions you will discover your talents, skills and you will learn how to develop confidence in yourself.

At last, you will create your personal action plan to ensure you meet your goals. ✨

That’s where I come in! As your Career Coach, I don’t just offer guidance—I’m your collaborator in crafting the career you’ve always envisioned

Confused if career coaching is the right thing for you? 🤔

DM me COACH to book a 20 minutes free call and understand if this is the right fit 📞

08/07/2024

One of the most common questions I get from my clients is, “How do I negotiate my salary in the Netherlands?” 💸💸💸

Let’s be real – no one loves having this conversation. The fear of selling yourself short or pricing yourself out of the market can be paralyzing 🥶.

But here’s the deal: negotiating your salary is a game you’ve got to play if you want to get paid what you’re worth 💰.

Most companies have salary ranges for roles, yet some candidates negotiate above the range, while others end up below.

Spoiler alert ‼️ : it’s not always about qualifications.

So, what’s the secret? 🤫 Preparation, self-confidence, and nerves of steel.

How do you feel about negotiating your salary? Drop a comment below and share what’s worked for you!

01/07/2024

When you think of a confident person, who first comes into your mind 🙋🏼‍♀️:

And what do you think makes them appear confident?

To me, confident communicators are able to find a sweet spot in between being comfortable with expressing themselves while still being receptive to the opinions of others.

Here are some characteristics of confident communicators:

Communicating clearly, openly and without judgment - while having conviction in what they believe in

Active listening and maintaining open body language (such as: smiling, nodding and welcoming gestures)

A calm, friendly and positive tone of voice

Not shying away from stating their boundaries and saying no when necessary

Open to feedback and not reacting defensively

Overall, a confident communication style can help you to establish your presence as an individual and allow your unique personality to shine, whether in the workplace or in another social setting.

Do you see yourself as a confident communicator?

27/06/2024

As a career coach, I am always on the lookout for new, time-efficient ways in which I can help my clients get new jobs faster while spending less time on the crafting of CVs and cover letters ⏲️📄

From checking and writing emails to brainstorming ideas and writing essays, the use of AI is rapidly taking over, but how can you, as a job hunter, use it effectively?

You can use AI in various phases of your application like:

🤖 CV creation

🤖 Cover letter creation

🤖 Interview preparation

🤖 LinkedIn profile optimization

Want some sample prompts to make your AI search easy?

Read the full blog in the comments 👇🏻

https://www.iamexpat.nl/career/employment-news/how-chatgpt-can-help-you-get-your-next-job

24/06/2024

F - Focused: Ensure your feedback is specific and targeted to the behavior or situation at hand.

E - Empathetic: Approach feedback with understanding and consideration for the recipient's feelings and perspective.

E - Encouraging: Provide feedback in a supportive and motivating manner, focusing on strengths and areas for growth.

D - Direct: Be clear and straightforward in your communication, avoiding ambiguity or mixed messages.

B - Balanced: Strive to offer a balanced perspective, acknowledging both strengths and areas for improvement.

A - Actionable: Make sure your feedback includes actionable steps or suggestions for improvement.

C - Constructive: Frame your feedback in a way that is helpful and constructive, aimed at facilitating learning and development.

K - Kind: Deliver feedback with kindness and respect, fostering a positive and collaborative relationship.

Are you giving feedback the right way to have the right impact?

20/06/2024

You went on a diet and three days later you are sitting on the couch, eating a chocolate cake 🍰.

At the beginning of the year, you promised yourself you would exercise three times per week. However, you haven’t been to the gym for weeks 🏋️‍♀️.

Sounds familiar? It does to me! A couple of months ago, I realised that instead of working on my new book in the evenings, I was actually watching Netflix shows in my bed.

But is it possible to trick your own nature? Based on my own experience and of some of my clients, I can say yes, it is.

⚠️⚠️⚠️ But I need to warn you... it does come with a price tag and often it means failing and starting over, again and again. ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Awareness: First be aware of what the short term pain. This is the first step.

Focus on Long-Term Goals: Think about the long term benefits you want to gain or the pains that you are trying to avoid.

Immediate Gratification: Waiting a couple of months or years for a reward takes too long for our brain. So fake it till you make it! Find short term pleasures instead. Like not eating candy after a workout, but, for example, having a nice bath instead.

Forgive yourself: Instead of saying “Well, I s*wed up, I am never going to succeed now” say “Well, things happen, tomorrow I start again with my plan”.

Accountability Buddy: And finally get a buddy to do this with. Someone who can hold you accountable, someone who will cheer you up.

All meaningful long-term benefits in my life and in your life come through experiencing short-term pain.

I know it sucks at time, trust me! Yet, it is definitely worth it! ✨

Do you have difficulties saying no to your short-term pleasures? Let us know in the comments!

17/06/2024

Do you recognize this voice?

Do you hear it often?

Is it whispering? Or is it screaming so loudly that you cannot hear the other positive thoughts anymore?

So, who is it? And what is it doing to your life and what impact does it have on the decisions you make?

Meet your Inner Critic or otherwise called your Critical Parent.

When applied correctly, this voice can be useful. However, it can also be the source of negativity in our lives. It can completely block us from our power, make us stuck and, in the worst case, even depressed.

But there are ways to manage it!

It starts with awareness: When is your Inner Critic triggered? In what situations is the negative “chatter-box” switched on? Which people trigger it? What kind of negative thoughts are being triggered and how do you feel?

Then acknowledge it’s presence: realise that it is unrealistic to expect that this voice to stop. So say hello to your “Inner Critic”

Make connection with the critic: Like any “creature” it needs some love and attention. So thank your critic for helping you get to where you are.

Realise the presence of other ego states: Your Inner Critic is only one of 5 (or even more) ego states. It is definitely not the ONLY one. The Creative Child and the Adult play an important role in managing your Critic.

Negotiate: Even though you appreciate its help in some situations, make the Critic aware that you are a grown-up person and you need less “help” than when you were younger.

And finally Act: Even if you hear the Inner Critic screaming in your head: “Don’t do it”, “Don’t apply for this job”, “Don’t start your own business”, “Don’t make this video public”, “This article is stupid”, etc. JUST DO IT ANYWAY.

So be brave, and outsmart your Inner Critic. Share your experiences with how you handle your Inner Critic below in the comment section 👇🏻

13/06/2024

As a career coach, I am always on the lookout for new, time-efficient ways in which I can help my clients get new jobs faster, while spending less time on the crafting of CVs and cover letters. From checking and writing emails to brainstorming ideas and writing essays, the use of AI is rapidly taking over, but how can you, as a job hunter, use it effectively? Let's dive in.

Did you know that you can use ChatGPT to help you with your job application? Dorota from DoSo! Coach gives you a few tips to help you on your journey.

10/06/2024

In the past months, I have been working with several clients who shared the same “pattern”.

When we crafted the goals for their coaching program, their big shiny goal was to actualize a career jump and start doing something meaningful and with purpose, which uses their strengths.

After a couple of weeks of hard work, on multiple occasions, we uncovered that they were not able to start working on discovering their new path as they were stuck in a toxic workplace that was dragging them down; emotionally, physically, and mentally, and that didn’t leave any mental space for dreaming.

We had to refocus and start working on a short-term career goal: getting them out of the toxic place, asap.

Based on my 14 years of experience as a coach and helping hundreds of people to “escape” toxic environments, I have made a list of common signs that tell you to run away fast before it is too late (i.e. burnout).

Have you noticed any of the above red flags in your organization? What do you believe makes an organization either healthy or toxic? Share in the comments below!

06/06/2024

One of the topics I often find myself discussing with my clients is giving and receiving constructive feedback.

Most of you, I am sure, would agree that constructive feedback is necessary and even desired for us and others to develop and grow. And yet, most of us fear both receiving and giving feedback.

How come?

Often, it’s because it is poorly executed—I mean, poorly given. When it sounds like criticism, is based on character traits rather than behavior, and is often not delivered in an empathetic way, it’s no wonder so many of us get defensive.

So, how do you give great constructive feedback? Here are a few tips from me:

1. Separate the person from the behavior and focus on the latter.

2. Ask for reflection. Before you present your perspective, ask the person you are talking to for their own opinion. Let them reflect and evaluate how a given situation went.

3. Ask for permission first. Before you open your mouth, ask if the person is ready to receive and interested in hearing what you need to say.

What’s your top tip for giving effective feedback? Share in the comments below! 👇

03/06/2024

Person A: “So, what is it that you do?”
Me: “I am a coach.”
Person A: “You mean like a sport’s coach?”
Me: “No, I help internationals who struggle with their careers.”
Person A: “ Ahh, I understand. You are like a recruiter who advises them on how to find a job in the Netherlands.”
Me: “Mmm, not exactly, sometimes yes, but more often than not they do not know what kind of career they want, so I help them figure it out first.”
Person A: “Ahh, yes, I see…You advise them on what kind of job they should be doing.”
Me: "No, I coach them, which means I ask them questions, so they can figure it out for themselves."

This was me, 14 years ago, when I was just starting my coaching business and I was hopping from one networking event to another.

Hundreds of networking events later, I found out what makes a great elevator pitch. I have created this handy list so that you do not have to go through the same painful process I did.

Want a few examples of a great elevator pitch?

Read the whole blog, link in the comments 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

31/05/2024

Are you ready to turn your dream career into reality?

If you find yourself feeling stuck in your current career, on the hunt for a new job, or seeking support for developing your self-confidence, leadership or communication skills, you are not alone.

Navigating career changes and adapting to new environments can be challenging, but you don't have to do it ALL by yourself.

Whether you're looking for guidance, motivation, or practical advice, I'm here to support you every step of the way. Feel free to reach out via email or give me a call. Together, we can take the first steps toward a fulfilling and successful future!

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions regarding coaching, training, workshops or programs.

DM me word “JUMP” and we will discuss how to make it happen!

Or reach me at [email protected]

🗓️ I post career change secrets every single day.
🔔 Follow me to change your career NOW.

🏷️ Tag a friend who needs to read this below.

29/05/2024

Whatever you want to achieve (in your career or life), these 6 steps are all you need!

Being a coach is a wonderful job on many different levels. Most importantly, it allows me to help others to fulfil their needs and dreams.

At the same time, being a coach, also forces me to constantly look into myself for areas to grow.

As part of working with many of my clients on their goals and on my own ones, I have made a list of steps (elements) that need to be taken in order for any of us to achieve basically anything we want.

23/05/2024

I often get asked: What's the difference between coaching and counseling? And how does coaching differ from therapy? And therapy from counseling?

Navigating your personal and professional growth can be a journey, and it's essential to choose the right support.

Here's a quick breakdown to clear things up!

Coaching 🏆:

Focus: Future goals and potential.

Approach: Action-oriented, helps you unlock potential and achieve specific goals.

Ideal For: Career changes, leadership skills, and personal development.

Counseling 🗝️:

Focus: Present issues and emotional well-being.

Approach: Problem-solving, providing guidance and support for current challenges.

Ideal For: Stress management, relationship issues, and coping strategies.

Therapy 🧠:

Focus: Past experiences and mental health.

Approach: Deep exploration of emotional and psychological issues.

Ideal For: Trauma, mental health conditions, and long-term emotional difficulties.

Choosing the right path can make all the difference in your journey. 🌱

21/05/2024

How can you fix it?

I know based on my own experience that this challenge is not that quick to overcome, as we tend to develop an “addiction for perfection”. What helped me personally, and the clients I work with, are two simple things:

✅ Imprinting in your head a new mantra: “Done is better than perfect.”

How much time have I lost on perfecting something, which I now know was a pure waste of my time, energy and money?

✅ Focus on the 80 percent you need to get right and let go of the remaining 20 percent.

For example, if you look at your presentation, focus on what IS truly important: the content. Sure, it is important that it looks good, but even you yourself probably know deep down inside when you are really overdoing it, i.e. will the size of the font really matter to the audience?

Remember that we gain nothing by complaining and gain everything if we take charge of our own life and career 💪🏻 and we do that by taking charge of our minds first.

We can do so much more than we think!

17/05/2024

Although the Dutch job market is a thriving one, navigating it can be tricky 🤔.

Especially for those who are unfamiliar with the local customs and practices 💁🏻‍♀️.

As someone who has 20 years of experience working in the Netherlands - both in the corporate sector and from running my own company - I want to share with you 15 surprising facts about getting a job in the Netherlands that will help you land your dream job 🤓.

Getting a job in the Netherlands requires careful preparation and an understanding of the current market.

I am sure that by following these 15 facts, you will increase your chances of landing your dream job in the Netherlands. ✨