Interconnection by Mariëlle de Natris

17/03/2024

The Earth Dodecahedron as shared by Matias De Stefano and the YoSoy network

22/12/2023

About integral quadrants
In Dutch this time.

~~~

Aandachtsvelden
NL. 1e versie

Het lijkt erop dat onze menselijke evolutie zich beweegt
Van aandachts-punten naar aandachtsvelden

De vier meest basale aandachtsvelden Zijn de vier kwadranten zoals voorgesteld door Ken Wilber

De velden van ~Ik en ~Het-enkelvoud
~Wij en ~Het-meervoud (ENG: I~It~We~Its)

Deze vier kwadranten lijken archetypisch te zijn
D.w.z. niet verder reduceerbaar dan tot deze vier

Ze lijken ook archaïsch te zijn:
Niet verder te deconstrueren zonder te eindigen in 'the boundless timeless'

Dat laatste is een heel ander onderwerp
Een Eenheidsbewustzijn dat voor de meesten van ons (inclusief ikzelf) onvoorstelbaar is

Gelukkig zijn de vier kwadranten zijn wel voorstelbaar
En kunnen ook beleefbaar worden

Ze ontstaan door twee belevingsassen met elkaar te combineren:
Binnen ~ Buiten en Individueel ~ Collectief

~~~

Kennis maken met deze vier aandachtsvelden
Is geest-verruimend en psycho-actief Zonder dat je 'er iets voor hoeft in te nemen'

Het is een simpele kaart met vier vakken
Die je 'tot je neemt' via je ogen
Samen met het besef van hun onzichtbare altijd-aanwezigheid

Ze gaan samen op voor alles
Zijn toepasbaar op alles
Zijn her-kenbaar in alles

Deze aandachtsvelden
Vormen een geHeel
geheel dat ik Leven noem

~~~

Ik kom er nog op terug
Ik stop er even mee voor vandaag
Ik heb niet zo'n goede dag

Een oude pijn vol van paniek
Vraagt om haar verder te integreren
Dat gaat niet samen met dit soort 'verhandelingen' over iets super belangrijks

Liefs
Mar


231222

📸 Look at this post on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/14eW2dcWFAWg7t7c/?mibextid=ZbWKwL

22/12/2023

My Patreon account has been deleted. I don't know why. So the links I shared in this Interconnection page that are related to Patreon unfortunately don't work anymore.

22/12/2023

27/06/2023

27/06/2023

Vol 2 Wholeness and the I-quadrant

Vol 1 zooms in a bit more on the Its-quadrant. Volume 2 on the I-quadrant before moving into exploring the We- and Its-.
All quadrants together with Source are Wholeness. Wholeness forms smaller Wholes, like the four integral quadrants combining inner and outer, individual and collective.
The four quadrants co-arise in different symphonies and other sensorial art pieces called experiences.
They weave an infinity of different streams that are never ever apart.

~~~

Wholeness

Non-duality is such a dual word
And it does not cover All
It does not cover complete totality

Non-duality is the dual plus the non-dual
It is doubly non-dual so to say
I find it confusing

So I prefer using the word Wholeness

For the Absolute plus the Relative
Nirvana and Samsara
Stillness and Eros

For feeling the co-arising
Of all four integral quadrants
Co-arising and co-returning

To Source

Where all is United
As Infinite Quality
In perfect balance

Longing to become Aliveness
Less than perfect
More than just One

Yet Whole never the less

In the It-quadrant practicality is venerated most
In the I-quadrant states of consciousness are
In the We-quadrant relationship is adored
In the Its-quadrant systems are la crème de la crème

How wonderful
To be able to move
As all of these
While being connected to Source

In my and your
Own unique way
Creating beautiful collages
Of Aliveness

Much Love
230627

21/06/2023

Mind the RAIN

For more from Shi Heng Yi and his online training please check his website - https://shihengyi.onlineMulligan Brothers Apparel - https://www.mulliganbrothers...

21/06/2023

"Gayatri Mantra"

The frequency of 108 is the hidden pulse, or rhythm that is the essence of the living mathematics of Nature, it is the reason why the Vedas worshipped this number by incorporating it into their 108 rosary beads (mala) when they chant their mantras. The most revered of all mantras is the Gayatri Mantra, the most famous Eastern song or Prayer of Enlightenment which is always chanted 108 times, also has a rhythm of 24 syllables! What else embodies mathematically these two numbers 24 and 108. It can only be the Reduced Fibonacci Sequence. Thus in a sense, the Brahmins sonically encrypted or hid this rare sacred knowledge of the Universe’s underlying Patterns of Sri 108 in a song or prayer about the Triple Worlds and an Inner Sun (Savitri). The Vedas teach that this knowledge was written on the Rays of the Sun.

Jain 108

20/06/2023

Living with the uncensored fire of full, unapologetic Aliveness.
How dare she?
How dare I
How dare you?

The Audacity

How dare she
Wear those shoes
And color her hair like that
And take up space
And use her voice
And allow no diminishing
Who does she think she is
You wonder as you bristle and
Make her an alien in your mind

But buried beneath
Is the seed of envy
And it was you
A stranger to yourself and your power
Who had no map to get
From here to there
Until the great fire
Came and burned away
All the thorns and brambles that kept
You from finding the way home
Into your own heart
Where you will now live
Spending your remaining beats
However you damn well please

Because you are just glad to be alive
After the great undoing and rebuilding
And in the ashes from which you arose
You will find that seed of envy
Transformed
And you will understand how all the others
Dared to be how they wished
Because you are now one
Who has gained
Freedom through fire

So you color your hair with a wisp of purple
Or let your silver shine through
And wear flowing skirts and bangles
Or every color of the rainbow at once
And your presence
Even when quiet
Announces I deserve this
And you become a
Gardener without intending
Planting a seed of permission

And one day an observer
Who is staring as you
Knowingly smile back
Will be collecting the remains
And blooms of her own fire
Only to ask her heart
Not
How dare I?
But always
How can I not?
~Laurel Trautwein~

Archaeology for the Woman's Soul

20/06/2023

Playing with a new title for
Conscious Interconnection Volume 2:
Get to Know your Wholeness

In this Volume I will share more of my views

I will Muse
On the utter Intimacy of Openness and Transparency

On Presencing your unused Potential & firiest Passion & frozen Patterns of Protection and their interweavings

On the utter Intimacy of relating
with Openness and Transparency
to All that is:
Your Unique Self
The Sacred
The World in all of its expressions
The subconscious and other Invisibles
And everything Else

On Living fully Alive
In the Prosperous Peace
Of Conscious Interconnection

This means going beyond the BodyMind basics And Seeing to your Balance as presented in Volume 1.

By looking and feeling into:

Deepening the quality of your aware Presence (Clarity)
Syncing with the Sacred (inner Peace)
Expanding your the range of your Perception (Resilience)

Slowly inviting you into extended abilities like:

Holding more variables at the same time
Including all four integral quadrants (It I We It's spaces and relationships) in your perception
Being able to be a point (of focussed attention), a pillar (of peaceful strength) and a wave (of natural dynamism).

And, maybe, feeling the Spontaneity of the Universe resonating with every cell of your body :)

Much Love
Mar
230620

18/06/2023

Concept list of 24 Pains as possible Portals into Wholeness for Conscious Interconnection Volume 2
In addition to the list of 24 fears of Volume 1

~~~
24 Pains of ~Body ~Mind~ Soul ~Spirit

Bodily pain of embodiment

Hunger pain
Unbearable temperatures pain

Physical sharp penetrating pain
Physical blunt pain

Pain of pressure/discomfort/dis-balance
Pain of physical numbness

~~~

Mind pain of partial dis-embodiment

Unclarity/confusion/chaos/puzzledness
Intensity/muchness/overflowing full-ness
Anticipating surrender

Indifference/not-caring
Distance /non-intimacy
Anticipating death

~~~

Soul pain of un-embodied subtle presence

Stretching of Openness
Aloneness of Unique Innocence/Authenticity

The unveiled Transparency of empathy
The sharp Discernment of clair-sentience

Stunted Aliveness of potential
Blocked Flow of passion

~~~

Spirit pain of the very subtle yet super intense longing for sacred embodiment

Frozen momentum
Absence of seamlessness
Uninhabited desertedness

Dis-appointing from my/the Original Design/SHe
Betraying The BeLoved

Longing

~~~
Context:
Musings on trauma and healing from the point of view that

Trauma is lost momentum
Due to frozen fear and frozen pain
Seducing us into

Contraction
Repression
Denial

Disconnection
Disintegration
Disgrace

Much Love
Mar
230618

14/06/2023

Eternity is here
Yet I can't promise it to you

It is not mine
To give

Like you
I am a receiver

Waiting for Eternity
To Grace me and you

So we can chose to be
In Timelessness together

Where there is no waiting

~~~

I watch your hands
Unravel the roots of a hypericum

Unveiling the many gifts
Of this one little cluster

So it can spread it's roots wider
Gracing our garden

With its generosity
With splashes of enthused yellow

Frail and bright
Not waiting

For anything

Much Love
Mar
230614

Sarada Devi embodies the feminine power that initiates seekers onto a spiritual path through unconditional love.

As a guru, Sarada Devi was known for treating all of her disciples as her children. Many of her devotees relate that she initiated them in a dream. She appeared as a goddess in human form and gave them a mantra. When they met her for the first time, they would recall the dream and know instantly they were encountering their guru.

When your soul selects her card:

Sarada Devi loved all her disciples unconditionally and equally. In her teachings she emphasized that there is no such thing as a stranger. She encouraged her devotees to understand that everyone we meet is actually a part of us, and is connected to us. And that if we want to experience true peace, we need to own the fault and judgment that we project onto others. We need to see our own faults and forgive them with love.

Sarada Devi whispers gently to us, “No one is a stranger, my child; this whole world is your own.” So if something keeps showing up in the people we meet, and in the relationships we are cultivating, Sarada asks us to meet them from within us. Meaning, the aspects of this “other” person might be causing pain or frustration or just plain aversion, these same aspects exist within us.

If we are willing to really meet with these aspects within us, the universe will keep
presenting them to us in our relationships. And it’s not to p**s us off, it’s to free us. It’s out of a deep love for us to fully heal. The goal here is for us to love ourselves fiercely from within, without judgment or shame for where we are in the moment. The goal is to let us mother ourselves with unconditional love. That’s the only love that will quiet those harsh, critical voices within us. So we can stop wasting our time mired in judgment, of others, or ourselves and get on with being the perfectly imperfect light that we are. “

- Meggan Watterson, the Divine Feminine Oracle

“Sri Sarada Devi”
Mixed Media
2019

14/06/2023

You are that blessed soul who
belongs to the garden of paradise,
is it fair to let yourself
fall apart in a shattered house?

You are the bird of happiness
in the magic of existence,
what a pity! Why you let
yourself be chained and caged?

Break free!
Break free from this dark prison
called material world,
soon you will see
you are the sage and the fountain of life.

Rumi ❤️

Art: Ai Lan

14/06/2023

“Let someone love you just the way you are—as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.”

— Iain S. Thomas

[ “Where the Moon Rises” by Naya Kotko Photography ]

14/06/2023

The arts are a very human way of making life more bearable.

Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your Soul grow, for heaven's sake.

Sing in the shower.

Dance to the radio.

Tell stories.

Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem.
Do it as well as you possible can.

You will get an enormous reward.

You will have created something.
-Kurt Vonnegut Jr.-

Archaeology for the Woman's Soul

Photo: Original Women Photography by Carmelita Iezzi | Conceptual Art on Paper | Lady birds

13/06/2023

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe."
~ Albert Einstein



(photo source unknown, comment for credit.)

13/06/2023

"I've read a lot of books, but I've forgotten most of them. I wonder, what is the purpose of reading?"

This was the question a student once asked his Master. The Master did not answer at the time. However, after a few days, as he and the young pupil were sitting near a river, he said he was thirsty and asked the boy to bring him some water with a dirty old strainer that was on the ground.

The pupil was startled, because he knew it was a request without logic. However, he could not contradict his Master and, having taken the strainer, he began to perform this absurd task. Every time he dipped the strainer into the river to bring a little water to take to his Master, he could not even take a step towards him, for there was not a drop left in the strainer. He tried and tried dozens of times but, no matter how hard he tried to run faster from the shore to his Master, the water kept passing through all the holes in the sieve and was lost on the way. Exhausted, he sat down next to the Master and said, "I can't get water with that sieve. Forgive me Master, it is impossible and I have failed in my task."

"No," replied the old man smiling, "you have not failed. Look at the strainer, now it shines, it is clean, it is as good as new. The water, seeping through its holes, has cleaned it. When you read books," continued the old Master, "you are like a sieve and they are like river water. It does not matter if you cannot keep in your memory all the water they let flow through you, because books, however, with their ideas, emotions, feelings, knowledge, the truth you will find between their pages, will cleanse your mind and spirit and make you a better and renewed person. This is the purpose of reading."

04/06/2023

Vol 4 Ultimate Intimacy: Wholeness Inspired by the Enlivening Force of Eros
Mar
Vs1. 230604

First draft of a new view on
Conscious Interconnection Volume 4

Ultimate Intimacy: Wholeness Inspired by the Enlivening Force of Eros

Part 1
A psycho-spiritual vision on adding the 'superposition' of fully Alive Presence to personal Pleasure, Pain and Protection

Part 2
A participatory approach to going from unconsciously sensing our collective fragmentational Distress into the innermost depths of united collective Consciousness

Foreword

Eros is Life Force
It can't be proven
It is here
There
And everywhere

It is around us and permeates us
There is no escape from its boundlessness
We can try to repress and deny it
But then it will just shapeshift
Into a thing of lesser beauty

To Live fully Alive
I open myself
As far as I can
To Eros
To Life

Means being practical and clair-sentient
Means allowing for ultimate intimacy
With me as my shell and as my inner Self
With the Sacred
With the World and Cosmos

The cost is high
What is being given is pure abundance
Experiences of beauty beyond words
Only able to be spoken of in tears
And an occasional poem

For me it is easier to be intimate with the Sacred
To Be in my Sacred Garden
Fully held by my Muse
Pricked and prompted by Her
Fluidly filled by Her continously

A stubborn part of me
Also wants to be together with a man in a joint Garden
Sharing our Wholeness
Our Beauty
Sharing the delight of Eros flowing through us fully

I thought this fourth book spoken from the ITS-quadrant
Would be about systems
The aspect of Life I least understand
Now I feel this last volume is about my Longing
For the Ultimate Intimacy of Wholeness:

The fullest openness, presence, contact and momentum possible in the moment
In as much togetherness as I can allow
With as much Aliveness and Unique Seamlessness I dare to move into
Inviting in the greatest Enthusiasm my Heart can hold
Inviting you in too

Much Love
Mar
230604

Contents

Foreword
Introduction
Part 1
Part 2
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Resources
Appendices

Introduction

In general I am a generalist and work eclectic. I have a fairly free access to both my verbal and rationality supporting brain parts and my imaging and holistic brain parts.

The professional context of my work is mainly formed by my (participatory) studies in psychology since I was nearly 18: clinical psychology, social psychology, philosophical anthropology, post traumatic stress disorder, treatment of cancer patients, hypnotherapy, evolutionary psychology, intergenerational and collective trauma, the emergence of different qualities of we-spaces, the integration and combination of left and right brain hemispheres, the nervus vagus states, etc.

My educational base has been to enjoy doing four STEM topics in highschool and learning five languages over time, speaking them in different degrees of proficiency during my vacations and travels. My favorite topic in highschool was biology and I almost became a medical doctor. Instead I chose to study psychology and worked for 28 years as a therapist with 1800 clients in the first line (secondary prevention and psychosomatics) and later in the second line (early childhood trauma and the amygdala-neocortex connection).

The framework of this book series is based in the four quadrants presented in the Integral Theory of Ken Wilber created by combining the inside and outside with the individual and collective. Although these four archetypal quadrants areco-arising in every moment and basically inseparable, I use each of the four quadrants as a starting point for talking about the necessity of Conscious Interconnection (WITH everything) and Living fully Alive. Basically it is about different kinds of intimacy seen from different 'corners of perception'. This last book in the series dares to move into the realm of Ultimate Intimacy as I seefeel it.

Part 1
A psycho-spiritual vision on adding the 'superposition' of fully Alive Presence to personal Pleasure, Pain and Protection

Part 2
A participatory approach to going from unconsciously sensing our collective fragmentational Distress into the innermost intimate depths of united collective Consciousness

Becoming the BeLoved

Vedic Yoga is about
Seer Seen Seeing
Becoming One
Becoming Seamless Wholeness

To me my Quest for unveiling my innate Wholeness definitely includes going into the Underworld. My mother did not come after me. She avoided the Underworld like hell. I did not actually 'know' it was the Underworld until recently. Until I followed my daughter there, trying to save her from the clutches of Death but realising I would not be able to do so. Only Grace could and did. I am so grateful.

Meanwhile I am revisiting the Underworld again. Following an unknown allurement. Wanting to know Wholeness fully. Light and dark and warts and getting lost and all.

Lost


Something let me go
I am not sure I wanted to loose

I feel naked without it
Disoriented

It leaves an emptiness
A lost without found

Today someone said
"Let it go and see how it returns

Allow it to find you again
Whispering your new name"

Mar
200426

The gap between the lost and found
The quiet listening for the new name
The New Rose
The next unfolding
Can appear to be very long

Mar
230604

Reading a quote about the Underworld for women today I doubly realise it is about getting lost AND losing something or someone. About returning stronger by going into the underworld in a perilous quest for a true BeLoved, meeting some pseudo-lovers in the process too of course, sometimes getting enchanted and glamourised, abducted or held prisoner for a while.

All in order to find the fullest discernment possible.
To know how to Be with a Lover, Be with Love and Be Love fully.
For the longest time I am only discerning better 'what it is not'. What is not 'it'.

In the underworld seeing the visible is not the main mastery. Mastery is in using and combining all senses. Subtle senses and the five physical senses. Seeing. Hearing. Touching. Tasting. Smelling. Intuition.
In me it resulted in being able to 'seefeel'. It is probably a form of clair-sentience. In any case it is lovely and lively.

And all of the time my main Quest in Life since I was about 12 is for a beLoved. A Man. A Whole man. A Sacred Match with my own Wholeness. A chance at Seamless Togetherness in Uniqueness.
Along the way I found my Sacred Muse and her Garden Oasis. My Big Womb, Big Heart, Big Mind, Great Inspirer. But not a full match. Only partial matches.

Creativity has always been with me. I guess that is Eros whispering through me, alluring me into a huge diversity of life long interests, temporary fascinations, curious participations. Prompting me that 'there is something worthwhile here, don't pass it by'. Strangely enough I followed this beautiful way of Eros even though few around me did. Or at least nobody talked about it. Not family. Not teachers.

To be continued

31/03/2023

The Pulse – 30 Mar to 4 Apr – This week we encounter Gene Key 21, which transforms Control into Valour.

"The Divine operates through valorous acts. We can’t own such acts, they’re simply the operational mode of consciousness when freed from personal control."

Listen to the audio:https://bit.ly/3lRiSFw

16/12/2022

Preparation phase for launching a new initiative using video and the resonance of my voice: Conscious interConnection 'fitness training'. Feeling very blessed with people inviting and supporting me in this. 🌷

Day 1
Of my Conscious interConnection 'fitness training' project

The seed is planted
It found fertile soil
It will germinate there for a while
Preparing to come above ground

This project is being born out of a deep Longing
An unfulfilled potential
A whisper from the future

A call from the Divine
To breath
In and out
To expand and to express

Much Love
Mar
12-12-2022

MarArt: Prep Instellation n°1
The seed is planted

~

Day 2
Of preparing to present my free online Conscious interConnection (CC) 'fitness training'

The seed is planted
There will be 20 topics within four areas of interest to enjoy co-musing about
Plus an introductory session 0
Plus a celebrative conclusion 21

The invitation letter for an orienting Zoom meeting is germinating and I will share it soon.

Looking forward
Mar

MarArt: Prep Instellation n°2
The 20 petals of the training flower

~

Prep Day 3
Of the CC 'fitness training' prototyping project

The total number of sessions will be 22
As many as there are cards in the Major Arcana
Here is a picture of my heartmind going into associative overdrive while also being in the linear process of writing the basic text material for the verbal part of each of the 22 meetings (the other part being opened for creative expression in togetherness).

I've so often thought I was 'not doing enough' or was 'being too much'. While now I realise I just have a different style of showing up in Life.

I refused to 'kill it', this 'weird me', but I have never fully embraced it either.
Until now.

Thank you for being with me in this self-allowing process, which I hope will be inviting you into a similar process too.

MarArt: Prep Instellation n°3
Adding the Major Arcana for the 22 meetings

~

Prep Day 4
Of the CC 'fitness training' prototyping project

There are also 22 charms and 'undertones' we could us like the 5 elements and Base~Space~Pace~Embrace~Grace. Maybe I will weave them in.

But first I need to concentrate on gathering some basics on the 20 topics I intend to riff on when we meet as a firing up of the co-musing and co-creative space.

Much Love
Mar
221215

MarArt: Prep Instellation n°4
Adding 20 charms for the 20 petals

~

Prep Day 5
Of the CC 'fitness training' adventure

There are 20 interwoven topics for me to riff on, one at the time, when we meet, also having
a Q&A
Silent time
Creative time
Sharing time
Every meeting being a gathering around the fire of mutual inspiration

Is the Invitation for the orientation meeting ready?
Not yet
Still deciding on a date with a few supporters of this initiative

Much Love
Mar
221216

MarArt: Prep Instellation n°5
The process of creation rounding itself out a bit more into mandalic ripples. Subtle changes.

24/09/2022

Finger practice for integrating the three parts of Conscious Interconnection Volume 2 better
Inspired by this talk by Igor Kufayev
In which, amongst other things, he said that verticality is creativity.

Verticality is related to creativity
Its quality of erectness directly related to expressive outpourings
Through our Being
Of the Source of all potential and energy
One could call the Sacred

Horizontality is related to generosity
Its quality of expandedness directly related to actualising all of the creativity
Pouring through our Being
As Life
As loving embrace
As the intimacy of care

When in open Presence
When open to the state of unwavering receptivity
Our vertical outpourings meet their practical implementation
On the horizontal Earth plane

In Presence the floodgates are open yet not overwhelming us
In Presence everything is pouring in from Source
And pouring out of our hands and bodies into Being Earth
All at the same time

While Being in seamless togetherness with the Whole
Brings in delicious tidal waves of feedback

Much Love
Mar
220924

In Conscious Interconnection Volume 2
Part 1 is about Presence
Part 2 is about the Vertical and the Sacred
Part 3 is about the Horizontal and Earth
The Epilogue about seamless togetherness, connecting Vol 2 with Vol 3
The total of which one could call quadrality

Synergetically joining
Bodymind
Spirit
Soul
Whole

31/07/2022

On oxytocin
The interconnecting hormone
What it's healthy effects are
How it's level in the body can be increased

In 2 minutes
Based on research by the Swedish Kerstin Uvnas-Moberg

Oxytocin - a miracle substance that gives effects both in the brain and in the body A film from Bräcke projekt " I nöd och lust" www.brackediakoni.se/projek...

31/07/2022

A synchronous post by Maya Luna

Poetically touching upon the watery,
Womb centered,
Radiant way of Living

I am also trying to give all kinds of creative expressions to
In words
In images

Through honoring the archetypal bended forms Of circle
Of sphere
Of Womb
Of Universe

Much Love
Mar
220731

I do not consent to the narrative

That being rational
Detached
Dissociated or
Numb

Is more mature
More spiritual
More evolved
More enlightened
More true
Than
The wild tenderness of my
Innocent heart
The shaky vulnerability
Of consenting to
The open cut of feeling
Of that place which is both
Radiant and raw

I will no longer turn away from
The hot and holy mess
That can never be cleaned
And call this progress

I admit that I am
Forest and ocean:
Disorganized Art
Made of Medicine

I commit now,
To learning that language
That will never make sense
To ear or brain
The one of belly and feet and
Deep womb of
Heart
The one that does not explain
A single thing

The one that does not need you
To understand

I do not consent
To the narrative
That I must overcome
How completely out of control
It is
To care this much
To feel this deeply
To hold the entire universe in
My belly

I will not attempt to
Colonize
Or conquer
The wild in me
I will no longer
Pathologise
The waves

I am done pretending
I am not sensitive

When the truth is
My heart is made of a million
Tiny
Insect wings

I bow to the feet
Of the sensitive one

I now embrace
The immensity
Of power
Known
When I walk the razors edge
Of that which is so delicate
You must hold your breath
To hear it’s voice

I am here for the language
That is shaky and
Uncertain
That is slow like honey
So slow the mind
Can’t catch it

I no longer consent to the idea
That the unkempt longings
Of my soul
The unbearable heat of my
Desire
The immaculate fragility
Of my skin
Should be neatly sorted
Fixed
Sewed shut
Or understood

The vastness of worlds
This heart can hold
Cannot be justified

It demands from me
An irrational submission
A Total
Devotion

I no longer defer
To the language, values and customs
Of the conqueror

I honor
My willingness
To be touched by life

To taste the wisdom that is only
Revealed
When I admit
The impossible situation
Of just how entangled
I really am
With every
Single
Thing

I no longer turn away
From the bare naked truth
Of the fact
Of my relationship
To all these Holy Others

To the threads my heart has woven
To the wild truth that cannot be uttered
Even by the most skillful tongue

This is the language
That has been called
Crazy
Irrational
Wounded
Weak
Inferior
And
Immature

But now I am learning
That the wide open truth
That can hold it all
That can pulse with the passion
Beyond reason
This,
Is what I am living for

It is the language of
Soul

And I am willing
Now
To hold the flame

Call me crazy
But this feels sane

- Deep Feminine Mystery School

31/07/2022

A watery, womb like, mandalic way of living is different than a rather 'arrowed way', a going from A to B, to 'mainly one single Point B' only.

“Half of me is filled with bursting words
and half of me is painfully shy.
I crave solitude yet also crave people.
I want to pour life and love into everything
yet also nurture my self-care and go gently.
I want to live within the rush of primal, intuitive decision, yet also wish to sit and contemplate.

This is the messiness of life - that we all carry multitudes, so must sit with the shifts.
We are complicated creatures, and ultimately,
the balance comes from this understanding.

Be water.
Flowing, flexible and soft.
Subtly powerful and open.
Wild and serene.
Able to accept all changes,
yet still led by the pull of steady tides.

It is enough.”

— Victoria Erickson

[ Artist • Aykut Aydoğdu ]