Nurtured Birth Services

07/11/2023

10/31/2020

Postpartum mood disorders are more than just depression. Moms can also experience anxiety, PTSD, OCD, bipolar, and psychosis. All these issues are treatable if they’re properly identified and appropriate support is given. Partners can also develop issues. If someone you care about has recently had a baby, ask how they’re doing (and really listen, don’t dismiss what they share). There are resources for help: Postpartum Support International has help lines and online support groups. I provide support through counseling. Sometimes medication can also be a good option.

People say having a baby changes everything. And for Emily Phelps, it certainly did. Her unexpected struggle with multiple postpartum mood disorders forced h...

09/24/2020

❗New Blog Alert❗: how to be gentle with yourself when experiencing mom guilt

"Parenthood has the potential to sabotage your mental health with feelings of guilt. Instead of succumbing to these feelings, reflect on what helps you best care for your children and determine what fosters their sense of love and safety in your home."

Read the full blog on PSI's website here: https://www.postpartum.net/psi-blog/mom-guilt/

04/20/2020

I love everything about this interview and Sterling Brown. His story about the home birth of his first child and their preparation for it, and how dads can step up and be supportive. Definitely worth the watch.

04/18/2020

This Sunday.
Support from The Postpartum Stress Center for parenting during the pandemic and for new postpartum moms. Free groups. Email [email protected] for link to groups

04/14/2020

Compulsory separation of mothers and infants due to COVID-19.

We are getting daily reports of this happening in the US.
It is not evidence-based.
It is not in alignment with expert guidelines.
It is causing harm.

It is an example of fear-based thinking. We assum it's better because (in panic) we don't think it through. Please, encourage policy makers and providers to read this info.



If you want the (free) printable to share, go to www.bit.ly/pdffreebie or to our website.

Please SHARE

04/08/2020

I've been corresponding with quite a few people about the practice in the U.S. of separating newborns from parents with confirmed or suspected COVID-19. The practice guidelines from the CDC and AAP conflict with practice guidelines from the WHO, the United Kingdom, Canada, and other countries.

Because of the guidelines in the U.S., it is possible that a birthing parent with symptoms such as a fever or cough may be separated from their newborn, even if the parent tests negative for COVID-19. This can be problematic when you consider the fact that fever in labor can also occur due to chorioamnionitis (inflammation of the membranes) or a side effect of an epidural.

In light of this situation, we drafted a sample "Informed consent form for refusal to separate birthing parent and infant." We've had many requests for this form, both from hospital professionals and parents, and it can be downloaded for free on our COVID-19 resource page.

- Rebecca

➡️ evidencebasedbirth.com/covid19

03/27/2020

“Kissing your baby changes your breast milk. Did you know that the undeniable urge to cover your baby in kisses serves a biological purpose? When a mother kisses her baby, she samples the pathogens on baby’s face, which then travel to mom’s lymphatic system. Mom’s body then creates antibodies to fight those pathogens, which baby receives through breast milk. What?! Amazing, right?”

http://www.mothering.com/articles/10-things-might-not-know-breastfeeding/ 📸: Dusktildawnphotography

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03/24/2020

"You either commit to having the most comprehensive skill set you can, to provide the best care you can, or you get out of the birth room."
"When a practitioner, or an entire maternity service even, makes the statement “we don’t do vaginal breech birth”, what they are really saying is that at some point they decided to not invest in developing a set of skills required by a competent clinician who provides intrapartum care. Because birthing women can’t opt out of vaginal breech birth 100% of the time, neither can clinicians. “I don’t do vaginal breech birth” is equivalent to saying, “evidence shows you are likely to have a better outcome if I had learned and practiced this skill, but that would take me outside my comfort zone, and so I decided instead that I felt that it was OK for you to face the consequences of my lack of skill”. Ethical care provision doesn’t look like that."

Commit to having the most comprehensive skill set you can, to provide the best care you can, or get out of the birth room.

03/15/2020

Mothers and/or babies found to be infected with COVID-19 shouldn't be separated, per the WHO recommendations. Worth checking out if you'll be giving birth soon.

01/12/2020

Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Which means no one gets to define it except the person who experiences it. That’s not to say we get to pick and choose but that each person’s nervous system (and heart and soul) responds differently to different situations and understandings of what is occurring. And if it’s too much for the system to process it will get stored as trauma.

I work with women to move past the trauma they’ve experienced while giving birth or during the postpartum period(NICU, experiences, postpartum depression/anxiety can be traumatic) and to find healing and themselves.

Here in the United States, pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood are often treated as magical and blissful experiences. But that’s not everyone’s experience, particularly when it comes to giving birth. Birth trauma is common — some research suggests that between 25-34% of birthing people expe...

12/10/2019

Danielle

11/21/2019

A good visual to post before baby arrives.

10/23/2019

Beautiful home birth story!

Nightfall had come.. after Tahja rested we walked the neighborhood. She remained silent and focused as labor had really picked up. Tahja remained in her zone, feeling safe and supported throughout... get your tissues out, as you witness God's work in action..the birth of baby Xionna was simply beautiful, in every way. THANK YOU TAHJA AND DENZEL for allowing me to share your intimate birth story with the world, as we strive to educate about midwifery care, home birth as a safe for low risk women, improve outcomes for black women, and empower all women to take charge of their bodies and birthing experiences. Love you all, to the moon and back!
Want to help change the narrative surrounding home birth? Feel free to share with your friends.

10/03/2019

On October 25, 1988, President Reagan designated the entire month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. On that day he said: “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes. Now, therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.” - President Ronald Reagan

10/01/2019

"Babies are no more manipulative in seeking warmth, nursing, and emotional connection than an adult is in seeking a heat source, dinner, and friendship." -- from "Sweet Sleep: Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family"

09/09/2019

How many of you moms out there can relate?

08/29/2019

If you're ready to start talking about fight club, please consider joining one of the Birth&Trauma Support Groups. Because no one should have to deal with their trauma alone.

Birthing parents- https://www.facebook.com/groups/birthtraumasupportgroup/

Birthing partners- https://www.facebook.com/groups/birthtraumapartnersupport/

08/20/2019

As the theme of this years World Breastfeeding Week is empowering parents I want to start the week off by addressing one of the most dis-empowering phrases I came up against when I was struggling to breastfeed. While I entirely agree that it is cruel to tell mothers that 'breast is best' and then fail to support them, dismissing mothers with meaningless, empty platitudes like 'fed is best' is absolutely not the answer.

Why Fed is Best will never speak for me, from a mother who couldn’t breastfeed.

When we talk about breastfeeding there are often a lot of numbers involved, statistics, percentages, sums of money and so forth. So I want to begin by sharing with you the breastfeeding numbers that are really important to me:

4, that’s the number of children I have, and the number of times I’ve tried to breastfeed
3, that’s the number of times I failed at breastfeeding (and yes, I know looking back that I didn’t fail I was failed, but at the time, I, unequivocally, felt like I had failed)
1, that’s the number of serious su***de attempts I made as a result of not being supported to breastfeed, coupled with severe post-natal mental illness. There were several other, less serious attempts.
Hundreds, well certainly more than I can count, self harm scars, cuts and burns, from where I was punishing myself for not being able to breastfeed, and from trying to provide my body with a physical outlet for my emotional pain.

I share these numbers with you because I want you to understand that no-one understands better than I the pain of not being able to breastfeed. I don’t have breastfeeding baggage, I have shipping containers full of grief and pain and loss.

In all my breastfeeding struggles the thing that came up again, and again, and again was well-meaning people telling me that it didn’t matter how my baby was fed. They were trying to be helpful and supportive of course, but their words did untold harm. To constantly have my grief dismissed and invalidated, to be told over and over that all the effort, the blood sweat and tears I had put into trying to make breastfeeding work were pointless, because it didn’t matter was devastating. It didn’t matter, don’t bother, get over it, it’s not worth being upset about. In the end I stopped talking about it, stopped reaching out for help. I shut down, and started trying to deal with the pain in the only way I knew how, by hurting myself.

What I needed, and what I eventually got with my 4th child, when I was struggling to breastfeed, was for someone to tell me that they understood. To have someone acknowledge and validate how important breastfeeding was to me, and how hard I’d tried to make it work. With a lot of skilled practical support I was able to feed my fourth, and last baby, but as important as that practical support was, what was possibly even more valuable was the emotional support of finally finding people who didn’t try to invalidate how important breastfeeding was to me and who didn’t dismiss my pain with an empty platitude.

I should also add here, that when I reached out to my local breastfeeding support group, I was struggling and supplementing with formula and no-one accused me of feeding my baby poison, as breastfeeding supporters are so often accused of doing. No-one by word or deed insinuated that I was less of a mother because I needed to use formula. No-one implied that I simply hadn't tried hard enough. I found nothing but compassion and understanding.

I couldn’t breastfeed, but don’t ever try to tell me that it doesn’t matter. It mattered to me. It meant the world to me. When it was taken from me it sent me to one of the lowest places I’ve ever been in my whole life. And those feelings matter, and they deserve to be met with empathy and understanding, not brushed aside and dismissed with meaningless slogans and empty platitudes.

Lisa (Chair)

08/11/2019

This is both fascinating and important information about our uteri. The position of the uterus affects hormones, fertility, period pain/bleeding and much more! Tracy Hilliard at Belly Body Wholeness works with women on this issue.

THE POSITION OF OUR WOMBS MATTERS. Most women have had the experience of being told by allopathic practitioners: "Your uterus is tilted, but it's okay. Most women's are. The position of your uterus doesn't matter." HOWEVER, the traditional guardians of women's health across the planet (most often the midwives) know that: The position of our uterus is CENTRAL to our health and well-being.
The uterus sits inside the pelvic bowl as a 'free floating' organ, held in place by ligaments. Menstrual cramps are most often a sign that our uterus is tilted. Menstrual cramps are common, but they ARE NOT NORMAL. We are designed for the uterine lining/blood of menstruation to EASILY come out of us, WHEN our uterus is in its centered, upright position. The uterus is a muscle, and if it is 'tilted,' then our uterus needs to CONTRACT in order to move the tissue and blood out. When the uterus is brought into its rightful place - cramps DISAPPEAR.
In the front of the uterus sits our bladder. If our uterus is is 'tilted' forward, it is then pressing on our bladders. This could look like: chronic urinary tract infections or frequency of urination.
To the back of the uterus, is our re**um. A 'retroverted' or 'retroflexed' uterus then is pushing into our re**um. This could look like: pencil thin stools or a feeling of constipation - even when you are eating enough health fats and fiber // exercising // sufficiently hydrated.
To the sides of the uterus sit the ovaries. If the uterus is titled to either side, it can be squashing into an o***y. This can impact the communication that should be happening between the ovaries and the pituitary gland. Our bodies then will often release more hormones then necessary, manifesting as MIGRAINE HEADACHES around the time we bleed.
How to tend to all of these matters and so much more: Connect with those in your community who are offering UTERINE MASSAGE/UTERINE TREATMENTS. All traditional medicinal systems had this form at one point in time. Find the practitioners you feel good/right/safe with and receive care. Often times one session can alleviate YEARS of discomfort.
Image source: unknown

08/05/2019

Supported is best!

07/19/2019

Yes, yes, and yes! Very few mamas feel comfortable asking directly for what they need and too many people show up expecting to just hold the baby, some even want mom to play hostess to them.

Good things to say when you want to help new parents!

07/12/2019

A birth does not need to be 'outwardly' traumatic, to be traumatic. is real

06/29/2019

Wearing your baby provides similar benefits to tummy time. Offering tummy time with baby laying on your chest also helps baby feel safer (not alone!) and more willing to stay on their tummies.

THIS IS WHY WE NEED TUMMY TIME FOR OUR KIDS!

"Babies NEED tummy time! At 11 months old, this little cutie should have a nicely rounded head, developed S curves in his neck and low back, and flexible legs that move in and out of various sitting positions. But, largely due to lack of time on his tummy and OVERUSE of "baby containers" such as bouncy seats, swings, and car seat carriers that go from car to grocery store to restaurant, he has positional plagiocephaly (flat skull) a big ol' C curve in his spine preventing him from getting on hands and knees to crawl, and hips and legs so tight he can't even straighten his knees! And these are only the outwardly visible problems...too much pressure on baby's spine and vision centers of the brain from lying on their backs are detrimental to development! So....tummy time, tummy time, tummy time! Do it!"

06/29/2019

Birth trauma is not just for women: the new dads suffering post-traumatic stress disorder

Birth trauma and PTSD can are treatable and can be overcome. This is why I trained in EMDR, so that people don't have to continue to suffer.

"I should have been so happy."

06/18/2019

Birth & Trauma Support Center

Birth & Trauma Support Center

"What are the barriers to recovering from traumatic birth? Lack of awareness and availability of resources are major factors.
“A big part of treating [psychological trauma] is recognition and access to care,” DeBrunner said. “Sometimes access to care is the limiting factor."

Birth Trauma and the resultant issues it can cause, like PTSD, are slowly starting to get recognition in the US but resources are still scarce.

For those interested in joining a group for more personal support or information, please consider joining one of our support groups.
Birthing parents- https://www.facebook.com/groups/birthtraumasupportgroup/
Birthing partners- https://www.facebook.com/groups/birthtraumapartnersupport/

06/18/2019

Postpartum Depression in Men

Today, June 17 is International Father's Mental Health Day.

Did you know that internationally 1 in 7 men/fathers experience depression and/or anxiety during their partner's pregnancy and/or the year following their child's birth?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGDZYLO3CNE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDxpNRoXsp0

See segment one of Dr. Courtenay's interview with Mark Curtis, correspondent with Comcast Newsmakers.

06/14/2019

Mrs. Mombastic

When you have a baby who only wants to nap on you, will only sleep next to you, and wants to be held all the time...
Remember these words; YOU ARE BEING USED.

But not in the negative way that is associated with this phrase.

Biologically.

You are being used as your baby’s regulator.
They are literally using you to regulate their physiological functions.

When a baby sleeps, they cannot regulate their temperature.
They cannot regulate their heart rate.
They cannot regulate their sleep rhythms.

And children work this out at their own pace with our support.
For some, it’s instant. They are happy sleeping independently.
But for most, this is not the case.

Becoming a mother is a massive upheaval.
A baby comes sn*******ng into our lives and we suddenly have to change an entire lifetime of sleep patterns and thought processes and career paths and social schedules.
Everything that we ever thought that we knew comes into question.

And people will stress the importance of getting babies to meet the unrealistic pace of their parents.
But the mother/ baby dyad would benefit far more, if we could SUPPORT mothers in meeting babies at the realistic pace of an infant.
Because biologically, that is what our babies need.
Not want. NEED.

In theory it seems like a wonderful thing;
to give birth to an independent robot with a well established circadian rhythm and physiological functions.
But in practice, thats just not how it is.
And accepting it helps us appreciate the beauty of it.

Whilst we are holding our babies and doing the easy work for them. Breathing in their smell and soaking up the time....
BEING THEIR REGULATOR.

The hard work is going unseen;
The most important work.
The work that is overlooked because we cannot physically see it happening;
THEY ARE GROWING THEIR BRAINS.

So yes, you are being used.
But for such an important reason.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

06/05/2019

Whether it’s being low blood sugars making a baby sleepy to eat well to conserve energy or one who cries in pain or wakes frequently because it’s hungry, babies are just trying to survive.

06/02/2019

Dr. Ben Kim

Put another way, remember that what people do is far more important than what they say.

Trust behavior over words.

Don’t feel bad about saying “no, thanks, I wish you the best” to those whose actions don’t align with their persuasive talk.