12/16/2016
I've been talking to clients and friends about holiday blahs. Many of us have recently lost someone dear, or a job, or both. But this is not a new experience, it is the norm for me.
So...I’m owning this fact: The December holiday season truly confuses me, gets me off of my game. I’m not a holiday craftsperson, not a baker, typically not a sender of Holiday cards. I dislike shopping malls, especially during this season. I do not go to corporate holiday parties (any more). Yet, I AM joyful person, and I do love giving meaningful and thoughtful gifts. I do love decorating the tree, plugging in the outside lights.. So why does this season always feel so challenging? I have a theory, for my holiday confusion, anyway: I’m letting everyone else's “holiday stress” in. It’s not mine! It’s all around me, but I don't need to own it. I know it has to do with old narratives, missing life pieces, maybe some false nostalgia, definitely hyper-consumerism, and overfull calendars.
I’m a solution-finder, so after sitting down for way too many hours today, trying to find a joyful way through this holiday planning and communication, I’ve found my solution: Be present, go outside, limit social media, be loving, and stay fit.
Many of my clients are feeling the same, so I’ll share some really helpful tips for y'all, and me! Oh, since I have to get to the gym, I borrowed these from the Mayo Clinic's website ;-)
Please, be happy, healthy and joyful!
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When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.
1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.
Try these alternatives:
o Donate to a charity in someone's name.
o Give homemade gifts.
o Start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
Try these suggestions:
o Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
o Get plenty of sleep.
o Incorporate regular physical activity into each day.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
Some options may include:
o Taking a walk at night and stargazing.
o Listening to soothing music.
o Getting a massage.
o Reading a book.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional
