High Definition Concrete Consulting

03/27/2022

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11/23/2016

Effective Elimination of Hard Water Mineral Deposits left after Ev***ration

Over 85% of the country has hard water; especially rural areas that are supplied with water from aquifers or wells due to the naturally occurring minerals. The primary minerals contained in hard water are calcium, magnesium, and in some cases iron.

Calcium containing minerals are calcite and gypsum; with magnesium ones being dolomite. The presence of these can take a heavy cosmetic toll on beauty associated with decorative concrete surfaces. As the water ev***rates these minerals remain in the form of whitish deposits … limescale build up from the calcium have the potential to etching/eat into sealers. Effective cleaning/maintenance necessary to removal hard water mineral deposits is labor intense, time consuming, and can be difficult (the harder the water, the worse the condition will be). Iron in the water is another troubling issue, in that it can leave orange like stains that are extremely harder to remove.

Hard water contributes to soap scum build up on surfaces. Soap scum contains calcium stearate, brought about by sodium stearate (main component in soap). I’m sure that everyone has dealt with soap scum, mineral deposits, and rust stains on glass shower doors, tubs and sinks, tile surfaces, etc … decorative concrete surfaces are no different (the harder the water the more dire the situation).

What’s the solution to your customer’s surfaces remaining pristine if they have hard water? … a “in-line garden hose water softener filter! These work by replacing the calcium and magnesium ions with sodium irons, neutralizing and eliminating hard water; as well as raising the PH associated with low PH acidic water. The filter also removes rust, chlorine, chloramines, and other chemicals. Sodium ions are soft and don’t produce scale, stain, or leave water spots. Garden hose in-line water softening filters are nominal in cost (approximately $45.00 for the canister the hose attaches; $35.00 for the water softener cartridge; the cartridge is rechargeable with rejuvenating tablets).

Exterior decorative concrete surfaces are frequently textured, stamped, scored/engraved, have decorative designs that create 3D tile images, etc (ergo: water stands longer on them than typically more flat/level/smooth interior ones) … the same is true of exposed aggregate concrete and epoxy stone surfaces. When these surfaces (patios, driveways, sidewalks, pool decks, etc) come in contact with water from sprinklers; or, routine cleaning; they become very susceptible to hard water mineral deposits that distract from their vibrancy of color, classic style, and take on a neglected appearance. By eliminating the hard water using an “in-line hose water softener filter” this problem is resolved, to the elation and satisfaction of your customers, since all water that accumulates on the surface will have the minerals and other chemicals/contaminates removed (note: rain water does not have a concentration of minerals associated with hard water since it has been cleaned by the process of nature itself.

As an additional “plus factor” property owners will appreciate that they will not have mineral deposits or soap scum (calcium stearate) left on their vehicles after washing/rinsing; as well healthier potted plants, lawns, and other flowers/greenery since the filter also eliminates acidic low PH of the water flowing through it.

(shown below is a in-line water softening filter; however, there are several other low cost ones available)

11/18/2016

OPPORTUNITIES in CLEANING & MAINTENANCE of the ARCHITECTURAL CONCRETE SURFACES you CREATED

All decorative concrete surfaces require proper cleaning & maintenance. At least 70% of the time residential & commercial property owners are negligent as to following guidelines they are provided (be it cleaners they are using, frequency, or cleaning methods)… this results in loss of luster, staining/ discoloring, or degrading. Typically they don’t look in a mirror to see that they are not a victim, they are the perpetrator … they seek to blame either the materials used or contractor workmanship …all those that see the neglected surface will get a unjustified tarnished image in relation to lasting beauty and overall survival of hardscapes.

References where interested prospects can see our work (public accessible & commercial locations) are an important asset, equal to those of referrals & customer satisfaction testimonials. How many times have you provided potential customers with places that they could see examples of your creativity and attention to detail, with a little voice in the back of your mind thinking “I hope it is clean and still looks good” (having not seen it in months, or perhaps years) … its possible it has not been cleaned or maintained properly over time, becoming a negative in lieu of a positive in regards to closing a sale.

Who has the necessary knowledge, proprietary materials, and experience to protect and shield their investment, assuring the maximum rate of longevity, lasting beauty, and “survival? …“you” do. Many commercial properties have a janitorial service clean/maintain their floors who are clueless about the materials to use and care required …residential homeowners may have a maid that has even less insight … ergo: the surfaces you created are not being treated in a manner that assures enduring beauty.

Take matters into your own hands, while increasing your revenue … when you complete a job, offer “cleaning/maintenance service” (weekly, monthly, quarterly, annually), tying it into your warranty. In other words, a janitorial/maid service for maintaining interior/exterior surfaces (using appropriate cleaners that don’t leave a soap film build up, waxing if/when necessary, cleaning exterior surfaces, etc.). If you are thinking, I have better used of my time than performing these mundane tasks, than ask yourself “do I want my indoor/outdoor surfaces” to continue to serve as showcases that spotlight my decorative concrete professionalism, or do I want them to be slowly destroyed due to negligence?” You can hire and train individuals, paying them a percentage out of every surface they clean; if actual resealing or repairs were needed they would see them, reporting back to you, at which time you can address them with the property owner … college kids who need extra money work out great for this sort of thing: or, those needing part time work (pay them a contracted amount by the sq.ft., NOT by the hour).

A large percentage of residential & commercial property owners will be open to your cleaning & maintenance service (be it weekly, monthly, quarterly, etc.) in order to protect their investment (especially those that use generic janitorial companies or maids). This will guarantee you a monthly income, due to scheduled cleaning appointments … those that own swimming pools have a “pool maintenance service” because they don’t want to (or know how) to properly clean their pool or maintain balanced water, with them referring to the person doing so as “their pool man” … well, you are a professional “decorative concrete maintenance man” in the same way.
At the point of sale, offer your customers a choice of warranties …1 year … “or” 5 to 10 years, if they opt to have their interior/exterior surfaces cleaned & maintained by you on a pre-scheduled basis for a maintenance fee each year (including resealing); repairs (labor and materials) being additional charge.

11/17/2016

McKinnon Materials Hygienically Engineered Seamless Flooring Solutions

www.mckinnonmaterials.com 866-622-7031

Seamless hygienic industrial flooring provides lasting solutions that responsibility address ease in cleaning/maintenance, sanitation, and slip resistant alternatives to tradition types of flooring laid over concrete in lieu of being an architectural enhanced component of it.
McKinnon Materials 100% Solids Epoxy commercial/industrial flooring surfaces have no joints/seams to entrap dirt, foreign matter, spills, fouled water from plumbing leaks, or cleaning materials. The concrete itself serves as a stable, firm, and slip resistant sustainable base that addresses environmentally friendly and sustainable design build concepts while providing valuable ROI (return on investment).

Impervious floors are easily sanitized; furthermore, innately repel mold, mildew, fungi, germs and other unsanitary matter (meeting the sanitary surfacing criteria of the USDA/FDA). Clean living environments can be a matter of life and death for those that suffer from immune deficiencies, various diseases, asthma or other breathing difficulties, allergies, etc.

Those who are mobility challenged, using wheelchairs, walkers, or canes will benefit from our impressive/proven line of seamless, solid, stable floors (as opposed to soft carpet that make it difficult for those that are mobility challenged to navigate across; carpet also provides a habitat for dust mites). Glued down sheet goods (vinyl, linoleum, and VCT) floors are prone to loss of adhesive bond and seams becoming loose, why wood laminate floating floors will buckle when subjected to rising moisture, v***r, and substrate movement ... all these issues increase the rate of trip/fall accidental injuries.

Anti-skid medias can be incorporated into our custom formulated 100% solids Industrial Epoxies to address individualized traction needs/requirements in common/public use areas, shower/restrooms, dining rooms, kitchens, laundry facilities, physical/rehab rooms, locker room of schools/gyms/colleges, retail stores, distribution centers, retirement homes, maintenance/repair shops, garage floors, craft beer brewery’s and winery’s, bakery’s, grocery stores, etc.

Tile grouts, carpets, and even seamed laminate are far more prone to developing offensive odors that have a musty smell, especially in the case of restroom floor urine coming incidental contact with floor due to wicks down into these common types of flooring…. our seamless sealed floors are designed to provide a remedy to this issue.

General Liability Insurance

A company’s General Liability Insurance and Workman’s Compensation premiums are based, among other factors, on actual claims experience; therefore, by taking steps to curtail accidental injuries from slip/fall accidents providing them with a viable ways means to take control (reduce or cap) rising insurance related costs by specifying a high performance seamless surface or surfacing system which include our clear or pigmented 100% solids Industrial Epoxy (several factory colors along with unlimited custom colors with no minimum, Aurora Dust Epoxy (metallic/3D), Vinyl Chip/Flake Epoxy floor, or a double broadcast Epoxy/Colorquartz surface..

Opportunities

Grow your business in Industrial Flooring Industry
Entering into the “required, nor merely desired” professional industrial flooring field serves as the master key to opening new doors of opportunities, increased revenue (year round floor market), Please call or visit our website for detailed information and master contractor price list. Clear 100% Solids Industrial Epoxy $36.00 per gallon, 100% Solids Industrial Pigmented Factory Colors $42.00 per gallon, custom color pricing quoted upon request (no minimum order). Metallic additive for 3D shimmering imaging is also available for clear epoxy.

Individualized hands-on training is available, by appointment, detailed information on McKinnon Materials website.

Contact … The above information has been provided by Lindy Ausburne, High Definition Concrete Consulting, www.highdefinitionconcreteconsulting.com 254-498-6635 servicing as professional consultant, tech advisor, and independent agent/rep for McKinnon Materials, have 30+ years direct experience, expertise, and trade related knowledge in the specialized use, application, and specification of McKinnon

Materials products, systems, and concrete aftermarket materials. If you have any questions, concerns, would like assistance in figuring materials needs for specific projects, or material & shipping quotes to your location, please do not hesitate to call my number (day/night/weekend) or McKinnon Materials.

11/04/2016

Seamless, Sanitary, Safe Floor Surfaces
Are you meeting the specialized floor surfacing needs of senior citizens?

The “Administration on Aging” (AOA) state that persons 65 or older numbered 46.2 million in 2014 and the “National Council for Aging” reports “falls are the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries for older Americans. Falls threaten seniors’ safety and independence and generate enormous economic loss.”

Slip/fall injuries lead to depression, physical decline, a sense of helpless, and perhaps in worst scenario causing them to relocate into a nursing home facility for long term care.

According to OSHA slips, trips, and falls constitute the majority of general industry accidents. They cause 15% of all accidental deaths, and are second only to motor vehicles as to cause of fatalities. OSHA recommends that walking surfaces have a Coefficient of Friction of “0.05.” A research project sponsored by the Architectural and Transportation Barriers Compliance Board (Access Board) conducted tests with persons with disabilities and concluded that a higher coefficient of friction was needed by such persons. A static COF of “0.60” is recommended for accessible routes and “0.80” for ramps.

The ADA, Accessibility Guidelines for Building and Facilities (ADAAG), Accessible Elements and Spaces: Scope and Technical Requirements, as pertaining to 4.5 Ground and Floor Surfaces, “ground and flor surfaces along accessible routes and in access rooms/spaces, including floors, walks, ramps, and curb ramps, shall be stable, firm, slip-resistant, and comply with 4.5 standard.

What can you do to provide viable solutions that are safe, as well as sanitary?
Whether it is the residential home of a senior citizen, retirement center, memory care apartment facilities, or nursing homes that are searching for long lasting, easy to clean and maintain, seamless, slip resistant alternatives to tradition flooring.
Seamless flooring … in which the concrete itself serves as a stable, firm, and slip resistant sustainable base … has a great many sought after features and benefits that traditional types of flooring don’t offer such as ..
• No joints to entrap foreign matter; or, water and cleaners to leach down into seams
• Provide impervious floors that are easily sanitized. Innately repelling mold, mildew, fungi, germs, and other unsanitary matter. Clean living environments can be a matter of life and death for those that suffer from immune deficiencies, various diseases, asthma or other breathing difficulties, allergies, etc.
• Those who are mobility challenged, using wheelchairs, walkers, or canes will have a seamless, solid, stable surface (as opposed to carpets that are soft; as well as added plus in not providing a habitat for dust and dust mites)
• Anti-skid media’s can be added into sealers/coatings utilized in seamless flooring systems to address individualized traction needs/requirements in various rooms.
• Tile grouts, carpets, and even seamed laminate can develop offensive odors that have a musty smell. Especially in the case of pets who may urine on it, since it wicks down into these types of surfaces … this will not be the case with seamless properly sealed floors.
• Vinyl flooring or linoleum have seams that are glued in place, having the potential to become loose over time, thus creating trip hazards … same goes for VCT tile that has 180 liner feet of seams in a 100 sq.ft. area

Seamless flooring surfaces and systems are answer to their needs.
Architecture concrete, which is applied seamlessly, is a sustainable flooring surface that is easy to clean and maintain. These include stained/dyed concrete, decorative overlays in various patterns and textures, stamped concrete, metallic epoxy, vinyl chip/flake floors, or epoxy/colorquartz, and high performance polyaspartic floor coatings and various other systems that incorporate them … which can be custom designed in limitless array of colors to meet the style and taste, while adding to the value of the residential or commercial properties/facility as sustainable flooring surfaces due to longevity, ease in cleaning and sanitation, along with ability to meet traction/safety needs.
Of interest to retirement centers, nursing homes, and other public facilities.

A company’s General Liability Insurance and Workman’s Compensation premiums are based, among other factors, on actual claims experience; therefore by taking steps to curtail accidental injuries from slip/fall accidents of residents and employees, a seamless flooring system will curtail accidental injuries from slip/fall accidents providing them with a viable ways/means to take control (reduce or cap) rising insurance related costs through responsible safety surfacing engineering and addressing risk management issues; therefore, the ROI (return on investment) in seamless safety engineered architectural concrete floors is a smart flooring choice option.

Conclusion

Your marketing your business toward meeting the seamless surfacing system needs of senior citizens is a “door opener” to growing your business, increased revenue, and providing a sought after solution to meeting the needs/desires of the elderly.

If you would like my help in cost effective material sourcing, application processes, or specification, of any/all the above senior living flooring solutions that are seamless, sanitary, and safe then please contact me for detailed information based on my 30+ years hands-on field experience and technical expertise.

Lindy Ausburne
High Definition Concrete Consulting
www.highdefinitionconcreteconsulting.com
[email protected]
254-498-6635

04/21/2016

EMBRACING CHANGE in COATING TECHNOLOGY

Whether it be through government regulation in regards to VOCs, a desire to be green safe, or to protect the health and safety of ourselves and those in the work zone area are concerns that must be met in a responsible way.

As professionals in the industrial/commercial high performance coatings/sealers field of expertise, along with related resurfacing systems, we find ourselves embracing new advancements in green safe and applicator-friendly technology from those containing hazardous/toxic solvents that were prevalent and common place in the past to the “0” VOC, environmentally conscious, and compliant formulations of the present that are the future of our concrete aftermarket world.

VOC free polyaspartics … especially those that have “virtually no odor,” rapid dry time and return to service, meeting the guidelines of the USDA/FDA in reference to sanitation, and offer maximum performance/longevity under challenging end use conditions … have become not only “desired but required,” in many cases being specified “in lieu of” antiquated polyurethanes that contaminate the air with toxic fumes, inherently require hours of costly non-productive time between coats, and typically 12-24 hour delays in returning the surface to property owner use.

Flexmar Coatings addresses all the needs, requirements, and concerns with its NextGen High Solids/93% Polyaspartic (PAP) … a few sought after features/benefits of which are:

• Same day application and return to service possible. Coatings dry in about an hour and floor surfaces can be used as normal in 1 to 2 hours after application … in temperatures from “0”F to 100F and relative humidity up to 85%
• 0 VOC coating with virtually no odor.
• Interior or Exterior use. Clear and Factory Pigments Color
• Ease in cleaning/maintenance. They only require sweeping and wet mopping with a mild detergent as needed to keep the floor looking bright, clean, and glossy for years, even in those high-traffic areas. No waxing, polishing, re-sealing, or chemical cleaning EVER!
• Flexmar is a member of the U.S. Green Building Council and their coatings can contribute toward satisfying credits in Indoor Environmental Quality and Materials and Resources categories under LEED program.
Distinctive decorative elegance and durability when combined with vinyl chips, colored quartz blends, or brilliant metallic additives that offer alluring pearlescent and iridescent effects that add depth and beauty.

For detailed information, 16 page commercial brochure (PDF attachment or printed version mailed to you), material availability and cost quotes, etc. please give me a call or my personalized prompt attention.

I have staked my most important asset, being 30+ years of hands-on experience/expertise and hard earned professional reputation, on that of Flexmar’s polyaspartics since its introduction by Jack Bracco/President in 2005, and invite you to see for yourself the proprietary properties of it.

Lindy Ausburne
High Definition Concrete Consulting
www.highdefinitionconcreteconsulting.net
[email protected]
254-498-6635

01/22/2016

Innovator or Imitator?

For residential and commercial property owners who believe it is costly to hire a professional, they will find that this was merely a mirage after hiring a cut-rate amateur or worse by attempting to do so themselves. As professionals, we must strive to educate prospective customers as to how our verifiable experience, knowledge, skills, required equipment, and trade related expertise will guarantee the ultimate in longevity/performance, lasting value equal to investment made, provide a well maintained and pristine image, while creating a coveted “I want that mindset” in the eyes of all beholders.

We must focus our attention on standing our ground as to acceptable turn-key price per sq.ft. structure, never cut corners as to performing necessary prep work, read/heed/apply all materials as per manufacturer recommendations/guidelines, and never allude to permanent solutions or promises that may be questionable as to ability to keep thus creating false expectations … in doing so we will be on target as to building a formable high quality reputation as required for business growth and increased specification for the services/surfaces offered … lowing prices and/or standards by playing “Let’s make a Deal” like Monty Hall will never be a winning game plan.

True “innovators” stand behind their workmanship, as well as commitment to total customer satisfaction and attention to detail that is #1 and second to none, leading to a steady stream of referrals and the revenue that goes along with it … “imitators” are those that attempt (“but fail to”) copy the actions or creations of others.

My hope for the New Year is that all contractors will strive to put their best foot forward as “innovators” (performing the type of work that they would be proud to leave their name on) instead of being “imitators;” furthermore, commit to learn something new every day (those that fail to do so are operating in neutral gear that will not propel them proactively ahead or perhaps drop into reverse). My philosophy has always been that those that believe they know it all are destined to fall off the pedestal they have placed themselves on; ergo, tarnish their most important asset (their image) to a point that can’t be easily restored/resurfaced/revived and possibly dig a hole to their businesses’ demise … what troubles me most is that the image of our industry can be compromised to a certain degree through no fault of professionals or the premium/time tested materials we apply due to failures and unsightly outcomes. There is no shame in replying “I don’t know, but will find out and get back you” when a question is posed that is beyond anyone’s foundation of knowledge … what is shameful is trying to fly without proper direction, veering off course, resulting in costly mistakes.

May those that are guilty of being “imitators” change course, see the error of their ways, invest in their company by taking advantage of hands-on training opportunities offered by manufacturer’s and experienced leaders, seek out tried/true answers when unknown factors/conditions present themselves, and venture forth on a pathway that is guaranteed to upgrade their businesses.

Success has no limits … one just must have all the integral components and expertise/knowledge to do so.

Lindy Greg Ausburne
High Definition Concrete Consulting
www.highdefinitionconcreteconsulting.net
[email protected]
254-498-6635

06/30/2015

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! How to climb through short windows of time in an exceptionally fast-track way.

New, technologically advanced, proprietary Flexmar Coatings NextGen High Solids/93% polyaspartic coatings take the checkered flag as the futuristic driving force in the high-performance coatings field. This revolutionary high-solids Polyaspartic Aliphatic Polyurea (PAP) is the clear leader in rapid application and return to service.

Revolutionary Features & Benefits
• 25 minutes working open time (in up to 85% relative humidity)
• 1 hour dry time between coats (even in temperatures as low as -30°F)
• 1 hour return to service after final coat (far exceeds the competition)
• 1:1 mix ratio by volume (simple to mix)
• 0 VOC, virtually no odor (environmentally safe, non-hazardous)
• Self-priming wet-out
• Excellent flow/leveling & vertical hanging properties
Clear or pigmented coatings, or use as part of vinyl chip/flake, quartz, or fine metallic flooring systems

On the Level with Proactive Solutions
High-quality components, a proven history of long-term performance, enhancing visual effects, and other unparalleled features provide maximum value that leads to total customer satisfaction, referrals, and the revenue you deserve for a job well-done that is second-to-none.

Just as your skin envelopes and protects your body, Flexmar polyaspartics effectively shield and guard your customers’ concrete surfaces from harsh elements of nature and challenging interior/exterior end-use conditions. They are UV-stable and chemical-, and stain-resistant.

Visit www.FlexmarPolyaspartics.com for more information, including features and benefits, MasterSpec‡ specifications, customer testimonials, application videos, and other resources.

I look forward to answering your questions. High Definition Concrete Consulting has decades of integral industry knowledge necessary to direct you to a strong foundation of success. I stand ready, willing, and uniquely able to promptly meet your company’s individualized needs.

If you have not purchased Flexmar polyaspartics in the past please use code LA15 when requesting info or placing an initial order. This code references your professional industry standing as a high-performance coatings system contractor.

High Definition Concrete Consulting
Lindy Ausburne
30+ years hands on Experience & Tech Expertise
www.highdefinitionconcreteconsulting.com
[email protected]
254-498-6635 (cell phone: day/night/weekend)
High Definition Concrete Consulting Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/highdefinitondecorativeconcrete?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

The leading manufacturer of polyaspartic coatings, stains, and sealers for concrete floors. Simple-by-design Flexmar Coatings: accept no imitations.

05/19/2015

If you are walking away from wood (as in surfaces), you could be applying a seamless, flexible, non-biodegradable, self-leveling eco-safe and applicator friendly, elastomeric ... encapsulating the wood, while also serving as a reliable waterproofing system; broadcasting fine/uniform sand into it to create an acceptable profile, over which you can then apply various concrete resurfacing systems (be it decorative concrete overlays, flake/chip surfaces, epoxy/colorquartz ones, epoxy stone, thin set with tile or slate, etc).
The elongation and flexibility factor of the liquid rubber/elastomeric serves not only as ideal interior/exterior waterproofing, but also cuts down on noise transfer to rooms located below, and a buffer between more rigid surfaces above and wood substrates below in order to deflect/deter movement that brings about fissures/cracks in overlayments/resurfacing systems. Can also use on balconies, landings, staircases (encapsulating wood or concrete) that have seam/joints/cracks. As we all know water intrusion (seepage even through fine/hairline fissures) to wood cause rot , deterioration, mold, and loss of bond between overlayments and resurfacing systems of various types to the wood ... in regards to concrete, shields rebar/mesh reinforcement from rusting/corroding and spalling. If you want to lean more about the "how to's," material costs, and proven performance history of doing so, give me a call at your convenience (254-498-6635 day/night/weekend, they are all the same to me) or drop me an email message for my prompt attention [email protected] I'll be glad to share my insight with you on this, putting you on the pathway to gaining a greater market share of lasting surfacing solutions.

05/07/2015

Contractor Joke (after reading, if you have one to share please do so, we all need some laughter in our lives).

Smart Contractor

A building contractor does extremely well and decides to retire and become a Gentleman Farmer. He buys himself a big ranch and gets right down to it.

One day, the contractor is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground.

A neighboring farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over to the contractor "you need a mule to plow that wet ground."

"Where can I buy one?' asks the contractor.

"Just happens I got one for 100 dollars" says the farmer.

The contractor looks at his shiny tractor stuck in three feet of thick mud." I'll take him," he says, and counts out the money.

"Can't bring him over today, don't work on Sunday. Bring it by tomorrow," "k?"

"Sure" says the contractor.

The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. "Sorry, bad news" he says, "I went out after breakfast and the mule was dead. See?" he points to the dead mule in the back of his truck.

"Well, no harm done, just give me my money back" says the contractor.

"Can't, spent it already!" the farmer looks creastfallen.

The contractor thinks for a few minutes, then smiles at his neighbor. "Tell you what, Cletus. You go ahead and unload the mule anyways."

"Whatcha gonna do with a dead mule?"

The contractor smiles. "Same thing I used to do out on a job when I got stuck with a load of crap material. Don't you worry, none. Just load that mule right up into the back of my truck and we'll be square."

The old farmer shakes his head at the obvious stupidity of his new city slicker neighbor, but what the heck he thinks, and load the mule into the contractor's truck.

A month goes by and the contractor and farmer run into each other at the town barber shop. By now the whole country had heard about the big city contractor buying a dead mule for $100.

"What did you do with that dead mule?" asks the farmer, with a shy wink at the other guys in the barbershop.

The contractor sits himself right down in the barber's chair, and smiles wide. "Told ya - same as I used to do whenever I got stuck with a load of crap materials. Raffled him off."

"Raffled him off? How on earth did you manage to raffle off a dead mule?"

"I listed his height, weight, and color, then sold 100 tickets at two dollars each. Made $98 dollars profit"

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the one guy, so I gave him his two dollars back!"