The REAL Askam & Ireleth Information Page

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The REAL Askam & Ireleth Information Page It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for�

25/02/2022

It’s the weekend mofo’s get your toes out and sniff some cheese. I like muddy jam sarnys

04/11/2021

Can people stop letting fireworks off it’s not even bloody bonfire night yet! I’ve been sat on my chair watching babe station after my tea and one blew off un expected and I’ve s**t all over my chair! My wife is livid the fat bitch she can’t finish her tea now because of the smell. My owls going mental in it’s cage as well smashing off the sides! Not what I wanted on a Thursday night😡

31/10/2021

Beware when answering your doors!

I have just had a pumpkin come to my door with another pumpkin which was apparently his wife! He said I’m the pump-kin and my wife is the pump-bag.

They also said they’ll give me a bag of sweets if I let them lick my big toe with some brown sauce on it with the iams cat food advert on the tv in the background? Very strange.
hamsters in a field Britney bitch

26/10/2021

I had a walk down the beach last night on sunset and it just reminded me of what a beautiful place we live in. I stood at the end of the pier and as I was looking at the view I couldn’t stop brushing the sand across my soft face. It truly reminded me of all the hot guys in the world 🌎 go wild dogs

23/10/2021

Congratulations to Askam United the lions winning! However there was something dodgy about the game I think they were cheating! Can we please start focusing on their games!

UPDATE: mr jelly bean is going on holiday to 11 enerife so his friend will be covering for now named as Mr ligmaballs. Pm us for anymore dodgy dodgy info

22/10/2021

Hello peeps, this morning I was on my daily stroll through Askam and a seagull landed right infront of me it was an outstanding size! Definitely not normal there’s something strange happening. It didn’t move for me at all it just stared me out and then said ‘daddy chill’ and flown off. Can we please make the community aware of this and put a stop to it

Again if anyone else sees anything suspicious contact me or my partner Mr Jellybean with abs

21/10/2021

Earlier in the day I was driving through Askam to find pedestrians walking on the pavement just past the co op. Yes very disturbing!! But together as a community we can warn each other of these dangers. Keep calm and keep safe.

If there’s anyone who sees anything else suspicious just dm me or my partner Mr jellybean and we will warn everyone

21/10/2021

Morning askamites😎 this page is to stop the villains! Let’s clean these streets die in hot cars guys with fresh trims x

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