23/07/2023
The other day, July 19th., it would have been my Oom Peter Remmelenkamp’s 105th birthday. He died on January 29th of 1991 and was buried in the town cemetery in Brummen, just a few rows away from where my Opa and Oma Stel are buried, together with my little cousin Meisje who was the daughter of Oom Peter and Tante Betty.
In 1953, while Ooom Peter was seriously ill in the hospital, Miesje suddenly also became seriously ill, and died at the age of about two and a half. Opa Stel was very old and suffering from dementia and so Oma and Tante Betty agreed to purchase a grave for three persons. Miesje was buried there first, shortly after that Opa was buried there and in 1973, about two months before my Dad died, Oma was also interred in that same grave. On the grave were two stones, a large one for for Opa and Oma, and on a slab was a small white stone with Miesje’s name.
So it’s about fifty years ago that the last person was buried in that grave. Not long ago Fritz and Anke were approached by the city of Brummen as to whether they wanted to pay for future maintenance of the grave, or whether the city could clear it and make use of it for someone else. Because of the fact that there are few living relatives around anymore, and Fritz and Anke have lots of common sense, they made the decision to relinquish their rights to the grave and allow the city to clear it.
The same has also happened to the graves of my Mom’s parents, and other relatives, in the Rotterdam area. When this decision was made by Fritz and Anke, they had to make a decision regarding the stone of Anke’s little sister Miesje. For Anke, who still remembers Miesje very well, it was much more difficult to let go of it than the stone of Opa and Oma. They decided to have Miesje’s stone moved and placed on the marble slab that is on the grave of Oom Peter and Tante Betty who were her parents.
Anke has developed the habit, on the birthdates of her Mom and Dad, to place three roses on their grave in order to honour them. So when she wanted to do so on the 19th, we went with the four of us. We then also went to the location where Opa and Oma, and Miesje, were buried. There Fritz told us that when the town clears a grave, they don’t dig up the remains and place them in a common grave (which is what I thought), but that they simply remove the stone and slab, and grind them up for repurposing, and leave the grave undisturbed until it is purchased by someone else. Then, when they prepare the grave for the next burial, they remove the existing remains to be placed in a common grave. And so it is that my grandparents and Miesje still lie buried in the same place. At first, when I was told that my grandparent’s grave is cleared, I had a bit of difficulty with it, but then I remembered words that my Mom used to quote from Psalm 108 saying that even the place where people are buried is no longer remembered. It is so true!!! But there’s more, thankfully, and that’s found in verse 17…and that’s what matters!!!
“As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like flowers in a field; 15 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and it’s place knows it no more. 16 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him 17”
Psalm 108: 15-17