05/09/2022
From Seattle, let’s talk about elevators. I mean, you get in, push a button, and get wafted on high, presto, right?
Um, not any more. The elevator problem started at our first hotel, in Toronto. We arrived at 3 am, not my finest hour, and the bell guy put us in an elevator from the street level to the registration desk. I was beyond exhausted, leaning on the elevator wall, until the wall moved, dumping me on the lobby floor on my butt. Took a bit of maneuvering to get me back on my feet.
Ok no harm done.
Then returning the next night again exhausted, we headed to the hotel elevator bank and pressed our floor number. Except there was no room with our number. Stumbling around wearily, we went back to the lobby and asked for help. Turns out there are TWO towers, TWO elevator banks, and NO relevant signage.
We hiked across the vast lobby, found the correct elevator bank, and entered a waiting car. Except it would not respond to our various picks, and to be honest, foul language. We switched to the adjacent elevator, where other guests joined us and blithely tapped the controls with their room key, and voila! We piggybacked on them and found our room.
Move on to Vancouver. Room on the 8th floor. Bell guy escorted us up and I failed to take notes of how he communicated with the elevator gods. So when we tried to go to the pub on the lower level, we first failed because there were two elevators and ONE DIDN’T GO TO THE LOWER LEVELS. Switched elevators again and got there. Whew, right? Nope, getting back to the 8th floor, we found the correct elevator but pushing buttons didn’t work. Tapped our room card on the controls like we finally remembered seeing someone do.
Nope. We stood there feeling pretty dumb until a pair of guests MASSAGED the card on the sensor and we were on our way.
Then, Seattle. We are on the 18th floor. The bell guy hauled our suitcases up (there is a reason it’s called LUGgage) but I did note in passing that there was an explanation next to the elevator banks.
Didn’t pay attention.
Should have.
Decided to get ice. Cursory glance at sign on our floor said ice and vending, 17th and 19th floors.
Read the directions, entered 17 on the hall keypad, was directed to Bank A. Car appeared, took me down one flight. Quickly found the vending closet. Discovered that my reading comprehension is also on vacation.
Ice is on the 18th floor. Right across from our room.
Enjoyed my ice water until we decided to go to dinner in the hotel lounge. 3D floor. Pushed 3 on the hall keypad. Got on board, looked at signage and realized the lounge is on the 2d floor. Could not correct my error since THERE ARE NO BUTTONS IN THE ELEVATOR. Went down to the lobby in the car with other guests. Started over. Put 2 on the lobby keypad and was told to go to Bank A. (The elevators had numbers but also letter bank indicators.) stood by A waiting. And waiting. Meanwhile my boon travel companion Kathie had disappeared, which was mildly troubling because she may be the only living human less technically able than I am.
No elevator appeared. I re-entered the info. Finally Elevator A appeared, laden with so many guests it resembled a clown car. When the car finally emptied, I jumped in, the elevator magically took me to the 2d floowhere I was reunited with Kathie, who had somehow ended up on the 21st floor.
That is when we discovered that the lounge is not on 2 or 3. It is on 2 1/2 and THE ELEVATOR DOESN’T STOP THERE.
We climbed the half flight, had a nice dinner, and after wobbling back down the half flight, I am proud to announce that we returned to the 18th floor without incident.
As they say, travel is educational.