29/10/2013
Ujaluo itawaua yaawa
Onyango-Njeri,your cellular gadget
has intercepted some electromagnetic
waves and is currently summoning
your attention
Njeri-eti?
ONYANGO-simu yako kwisalia. Mtu
anapigia wewe sahu.
NJERI-bado niko kwa shower
sweety,please receive it for me.
ONYANGO-hallo...
CALLER-NJeri eh,weko? Ne
mwigithania ne ikomi emwe
ONYANGO-your lingual is foreign to
my cochlea,please utter alphabets in
a universal manner so that i can
derive sense from this dialogue
CALLER-kwani Njeri yuko wapi?
ONYANGO-Njeri is currently
interracting with hot shower in my
master bedroom that is located at
the artic section of my bungalow. She
cannot commence dialogue with you
as her phone isnt water proof like the
one i own which can recieve calls
even while i'm submerged in my
marbled jaccuzi
CALLER-wewe ni nani?
ONYANGO-Yawa,do you have airtime
of 2000 shillings and above? Any
airtime below that amount is not
enough to permit me to finish
explaining to you who i am via the
phone as my accolades are numerous.
But to comprehend me better,visit
any bookshop near you and purchase
a book titled 'knowing professor
Onyango,the individual with PHDs
whose number exceeds the mythical
lives of a cat'. I authored it when i
came back from the diaspora in the
previous year
CALLER-Nauliza wewe ni nani kwa
Njeri?
ONYANGO- I am the individual whom
njeri surrenders to her fauna in
absentia of clothing.....
CALLER-Ati umesema nini?
ONYANGO-yes,i am the individual
who relay copulative sensations to
njeri's pelvic areas.
CALLER-AUWIII ETI UMESEMA NINI?
ONYANGO-I AM THE INDIVIDUAL WHO
EXPOSES NJERI'S LOWER LIMBS TO
MIRROR AN OBTUSE ANGLE
YAWA,MIMI NDIO BOYFRIEND
YAKE,JOWAA. AND WHO ARE YOU?
CALLER-NGAI FAFA...UMEHARIBU
MTOTO WANGU,MIMI NI MAMAKE
NJERI.
ONYANGO-OH I WAS TALKING TO MY
DESIGNATED MOTHER IN LAW YAWA.
PLEASE OOZE PARDON TOWARDS MY
MANNERS MADAM AND PERMIT ME
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF PROPERLY.... I
AM THE HOMO-SAPIEN CURRENTLY IN
PURSUIT OF YOUR DAUGHTER'S
GENITALIAS WITH AN AIM OF
DETAINING HER MATRIMONIALLY
