30/01/2019
I want to quote EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. because they speak truth, except that I do not live in New York.
"In the year before I was diagnosed, the rage peaked. Every little thing set me off and I physically felt the blood pumping and my heart pounding out of my chest as I tried to contain the outburst. As much as I didn’t want to hurt those I loved, I had to release that energy and at that point in time, my soon-to-be husband was the recipient of my venom.
When I got diagnosed and put on a mood stabilizer, the rage faded. My temper still gets sparked every once in a while, but not more than the average person. I feel like I have much more control over my responses these days. I am able to walk away and revisit issues when I’m calm. When I do feel like I am getting much more agitated than “normal” and little things begin to make me angry, it’s usually a sign of a mood shift and a signal that I have to pay extra attention to self-care. I am so grateful that the anger is under control and so is everyone around me."
"This wasn’t how I wanted to be."