Willie's Critter Tales (2024)

30/10/2019

2019 Oct 29 Willie moved to Heaven on the 28th of Oct.
“Well, this place is awesome! I was ready to move to Heaven, but I knew non-furry mom and dad would be missing me, so I was thinking that and then Jesus showed up and said that He would let them know what I was doing. So I am sharing this and Holy Spirit is letting non-furry mom know what I am doing.
Ok, so I left non-furry mom and dad and sissy and the next thing I know, Jesus is holding me and we’re standing in Heaven! Wow! So Jesus puts me down and there to meet me are my furry bro Ernie and furry sissy Tigger and non-furry sissy’s Annabelle and Tasha and then Beethoven shows up and non-furry bro, Abraham’s dog, Tipsy and then Brandy and Bourbon, non-furry mom and dad’s pups and allllll these possums and raccoons and deer and wow!
This place is awesome! But, then Nermal, my non-furry bro’s very first kitty comes to me and says, “Willie, we’ve been waiting for you. We knew you were getting ready to move to Heaven so we got together and decided to show you all around Heaven. Now this will take, like forever, cause Heaven goes on forever, but we wanted to show you some of the things we knew you would like.” Ok, Nermal is like regal! She seems like she is head kitty kat, but she’s really sweet. Non-furry bro, Abraham just laughs while Nermal is talking and he says, “ you’ll get used to Nermal, she’s kinda the self appointed welcome committee!”
I look around and everything is beautiful! It’s peaceful and people are playing games and the furry critters are all playing together, this is amazing.
I started to go with Nermal, but then I remembered that I wanted to let non-furry mom and dad and the Vet place that took such good care of me know, how happy I am, and guess what?! I look like I did at about a year old! I can run and jump and it feels sooooooo good! I knew I would be ok to leave non-furry mom and dad, but I had no idea I could do all this!
I want to let Southpaw know how much I appreciate all they did for me. Doc Dejnozka and the techs and the staff took such good care of me and they made me feel special every time I went to see them. I know I had some issues that took them a lot of checking to find out how best to help me, but they did it everytime and I wanted to let them know that I really like them all! I want them to know that I am happy and healthy and I have FOREVER to do everything that I can think of and knowing Ernie, we will have a LOT to do. He also says Hi and thanks for the love and care you showed him while he was there!
I did ask Jesus if I could still be called ‘his furry highness’. Uh, He just kinda looked at me and said,” there is only ONE Highness, and that is your Creator, God! Then He looked at me and kinda tilted His head and said, “but if you want you can pretend you are a furry highness, but guess what? You’re about the millionth one who says that!” Then He just laughed, He thought it was sooooooo funny! I suggested He keep His day job, that I didn’t think He was ready for the comedy tour yet! He laughed and said He has enough to keep entertained from all the people and critters in Heaven! He’s really pretty awesome. You can tell He loves everyone and everything in Heaven, cause there is such peace and joy everywhere!
There’s only one thing I’m a littttttlllle put out about. I saw mousies and I was gonna chase them and guess Who just appeared?! Yep, Jesus. He said that we are not allowed to chase mousies, but we can all play together and play hide and seek or run around the forests together! Forests, trees, one of my FAVORITE things to do, how cool!
Well, I guess this is enough for now, I just wanted to let all the non-furry’s that love me know that they don’t need to be sad, cause this place is awesome and I and all of us here are soooo happy! I know someday we will all be together again. I also had a question for Jesus. I asked Him how I could have been doing all these things and it had only been a day? He said, “I know you remember your non-furry mom reading My Word to you where God said that a day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as a day.” Ok, nope, I don’t get it, but since He said it, I’ll just go with it!
I love you and will be waiting with the rest of the non-furries and furries for you all to get here.
Oh, wow I just saw a critter that has eyes allll around its head, I gotta go check this out! Later……Willie

Oh, by the way, when I moved to Heaven I was over 18 years of age, that's like 126 in kitty years, pretty awesome huh!!

03/09/2017

Willie: Hello my awesome furry and non-furry friends. My computer specialist (non-furry mom, and computer specialist is a streeeeeetch) has had some technical difficulties, but will be getting back on line soon.
So, I am still the most wonderful, chilled, benevolent furry highness that you know and love.....

Non-furry mom: William! What have I told you about lying, prevaricating, making up stuff?!

Willie: Why non-furry mom, I have nooooooo idea what you could be talking about?!

Non-furry mom: Well let me think..............how about one more stretchhhhhhhhhing the truth and those AWESOME little treats you like will some how just walk away!

Willie: Uh, ya know, my brain just rebooted and it seems llike I may.... have just a little.......uh, exaggerated my uh, description of myself. Ya that's what happened, just kidding furry and non-furry friends. Now to go find those tasty little treats that are callllllling to me!
later willie

01/09/2016

Willie: “Ok, what do you have to say to me today Ernie?”

Ernie: “Uh, hey Willie!”

Willie: “Isn’t there something else you want to tell me?”

Ernie: “Oh yeah, uh its raining and the birdies are lookin at non-furry mom like she had better get the bird seed feeder filled now! Hahahah”

Willie: “Think Ernie, I know that might be asking a lot, but I reeeealllly believe you can do it!”

Ernie: “Ok, I’m thinkin, I’m thinkin, I’m thinkin….. Nope! I get nothing!”

Willie: “Reeealllly furry baby bro? I mean how long have we been bros? Remember when you got adopted and what age you were and what age was I? Does that help?”

Ernie: “Well, uh, yeah, uh it was cold and you were furrier and, and………..nope, still getting nothing!”

Josie: “Ok, ok I can’t take anymore! Ernie, what is the date today?”

Ernie: “Uh, well it’s Sept 1. Go me!”

Josie: “And because it is Sept 1….?!”

Ernie: “Oh yeah, it’s Willie’s birthday!!!!!”

Willie: “Are you kidding me? That’s all it took!?”

Ernie, Josie: “Happy birthday Willie!!!!”

Later willie

31/08/2016

Ernie: “Josie, hey Josie come here!”

Josie: “Why?”
Ernie: “Just come and see something.”

Josie: “I don’t just ‘come and see something’ furball!”

Ernie: “Come on Josie, I promise you’ll reaaaallly like it!”

Josie: “Nope, need more info.”

Ernie: “But Josie, I don’t want to ruin the surprise!”

Josie: “Is this ‘surprise’ like the last one!?!!!!”

Ernie: “Wh..why Josie I have NO idea what you mean?”

Josie: “Let me refresh your memory furbrain! ‘Josie, oh Josie you have to come see this NOW! It soooooo coooool! Hurry!.’ And as I walked out the door to the backyard, what DROPS on my head!!!???? Oh yes a frog, a bull frog, bigger than the freakin house! And what did you do?
Oh yeah, laughed, and laughed and laughed………
So, I don’t think I will come see 'the surprise!’”

Ernie: “Uh yeah, well uh, ya see it kinda happened like this. Igmund, the izard dared me to get you outside cause HE said that you would think it would be reaeeeaaallllly funnie!
So see it wasn’t reaaallllly my fault! The izard made me do it!
But WHO did non-furry mom and dad ground for 4 days? Igmund? NO. Me, the innocent little furry boy who was duped!”

Josie: “Willie told you to say duped didn’t he? Aaaand I bet he was also the one who helped you with that un-be-lieve-able-ri-dic-u-lous-load-of-kitty-litter I’m right, aren’t I?”

Ernie: “Why Josie I can’t believe you would think that about me, Willie, yeah, but ME? I’m offended.”

Josie: “Cough it up furball, or this little calico and her furry derrie will not be moving from this spot to go see your ‘special’ treat you want me to see!”

Ernie: “Ok, ok yes I did it. I thought it would be funnie, if it makes you feel any better Buford the Bullfrog didn’t think it was funnie either when Igmund and his izards pushed him on you.
Buford took Igmund and allllll his izard cohorts and dumped them in the mud and made them squirm their way out, and it had some sewage in it! It was disgusting, yeck, I wouldn’t go near them for a week!!!”

Josie: “Where’s my ‘sorry Josie and I won’t do it again and I will give you my boar treats for 4 days and let you stay on top of the climbing wall and bring them to you?!”

Ernie: “You aren’t gonna come see my surprise unless I agree to all of that, are you?!”

Josie: “Nope, nada, nyet, no!”

Ernie: “Ok, ok ok! But really the boars?!”

Josie: “Take it or leave it furrybrain!”

Ernie: “Ok, ok I know when to give in! (at least for now!). Ya gotta see this, just come down the hall to non-furry mom and dad’s bedroom and look at what is on the bed! Course Willie thinks HE owns the bed and just lets them sleep on it!”

Josie: “O my, o my, o my! How funnie. They look like a cute furry fluffy fur ball and his non-furry, non fluffy daddie. Oh we gotta put this on Willie’s page!”

Ernie: “Ok, but when Willie wakes up and hears back from his non-furry facebook friends, YOU are taking the fall! I don’t want a big, gray, furry panda kitty chasing me around the house and hanging me by my cute little furry paws!”

Later ernie for willie

24/08/2016

Ernie: “Willie, Willie save me, they’re after me!”

Willie: “Ernie I told you the little dwarfs are just statues!”

Ernie: “Yeah, you say that NOW, but, but the izards have sicced the creatures with sticks for legs to come after me!”

Willie: “Ernie, where are the creatures that the izards (non-furry mom and her strange vocabulary), have sicced on you?”

Ernie: “Come on, they are by the lanai. Wait! Maybe it was the squirrels, you know how they have it in for me!”

Willie: “Ok, ok I’m coming.”

Ernie: “Look, look furry bro, they’re stealing my birdies food! Quick go chase them off!”

Willie: “Ernie, Ernie, Ernie! Those creatures with sticks for legs are what non-furry mom calls her birds.”

Ernie: “You mean non-furry mom sicced those creatures on me?! How could she, she loooooves me!”

Willie: “Ernie, no one sicced those birds on you! They’re just birds!”

Ernie: “ NO Willie, they are a jillon feet tall, they are going to stomp us with their stick legs and then fly us to the other side of the world and drop us in a tree with gigantic squirrels and, and maybe even a bajillon izards!”

Willie: “Ernie, I blame non-furry mom for this. I keep telling her to stop making us those ridiculous stories about all that weird stuff, cause you have a mind that runs waaaay overtime and goes beyond anything reasonable!”

Ernie: “Well, believe what you will, but I’m gonna wear an aluminum hat like non-furry mom said, juuuust in case there are little or humungous critters from a planet way far away that is looking for hinsome furry felines like me!”

Willie: “Yeah, you do that baby bro, and I think I will go find non-furry dad and help him take a nap! I reeeealllly could use the rest!"

later willie

18/08/2016

Ernie: “Willie, hey Willie, do you see them?”

Willie: “Do I see who furry baby bro?”

Ernie: “Them, you know THEM!!!!”

Willie: “Ernie, is this like the time you thought the ‘squirrels’ were stalking you?”

Ernie: “What do you mean thought? Of course they were stalking me, whatever that means, they kept looking at me and following me around the lanai and then peeking in our room after we went to bed!
But these things are staring at me!”

Willie: “Ok, I will probably be sorry I asked but where are they?”

Ernie: “There, in the window, aaand the little izard is controlling them! The one sitting on one of the ‘things’ head!”

Willie: “Ernie, are you talking about non-furry sissy’s dwarfs from the 7 dwarfs, the little statues that she has in her garden, that non-furry dad put there cause non-furry mom likes to sit in her chair and look at them? Are those the ‘things’ that you are talking about. Those ‘things’ that are not alive, but are named, D***y, Doc, Sleepy etc? Are those the ‘things’ you are talking about?”

Ernie: “Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly, BUT I’m still gonna keep my eyes on them! Those izards….just you never know what they might do…ya know maybe, just maybe, I’m still gonna keep my eyes on them!”

Willie: “Yes, yes non-furry friends, you just never know what will come out of furry baby bro’s mouth, but then again, maybe you do!”

later willie

11/08/2016

Non-furry mom: “Willie……………….Willie………………..Willie……………….your furry highness!”

Willie: “Yes mom?”

Non-furry mom: “Just because you got grounded is no reason for you not to do your facebook posts.”

Willie: “Well, uh I figured that if I got grounded theeeeeeen my non-furry friends would get grounded too!”

Non-furry mom: “Uh, William Bartholomew Smith! IF your attitude doesn’t change, like NOW, I see many, many, many days of your furry little hide not seeing the light of day!”

Willie: “Ok, ok I know you’re right. ‘Non-furry friends I am sorry for my attitude and acting like a big, gray furry idgit. Please forgive me, I sooooooometimes let my furry fussy attitude get the better of me if I am grounded! For disciplinary measures for myself I will tell Josie to NOT slap Ernie if he gets in the chair by the window! Yeah, that’s real good of me!”

Non-furry mom: “Wow Willie, I can hardly believe you are being so hard on yourself for your discipline! Yeah, NOT! You furry child will not ONLY tell Josie to not slap your furry bro, but YOU will make sure he gets first dibs on the chair by the window and YOU will keep yourself out of it! Got it, Mister generous?!”

Willie: “Uh yeah, that sounds real good non-furry mom. I will make sure furry baby bro gets to sit in the window chair and not me. Ok, now can I have a treat?!”

Non-furry mom: “How about you get an extra day added to your grounding, mmmmh?”

Willie: “Uh, ya know I think I probably should cut out treats for awhile, yeah that sounds good!”

Non-furry mom: “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

Later non-furry mom
“Mom that’s MY line!!!!”

30/07/2016

Ernie: “Willie, why do you look like a panda?”

Willie: “Huh?”

Ernie: “Ya know, you are two different colors.”

Willie: “Baby furry bro, I am a big gray furry kitty!”

Ernie: “Well, uh, you are really a big gray furry PANDA kitty!”

Willie: “Where do you get I am a Panda kitty?”

Ernie: “Have ya looked at yourself in a mirror lately?”

Willie: “Ernie, I am NOT the one who stands or lays in front of a mirror to stare at myself. I leave that vanity to you!”

Ernie: “Ok, panda kitty boy! Look in this mirror I’m holding, whadaya see?”

Willie: “Oh my freaky panda kitty looking two tone fur! Wait till I get hold of non-furry sissy! She shaved my gorgeous, handsome, fluffy gray furry fur. AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh! I’m gray and gray/white FURRY PANDA KITTY!”

Ernie: “Well, big furry bro, maybe we can put you in the carnival as the only panda kitty in existence!”

Willie: “Watch it furry baby bro, you just MIGHT be joining me AFTER I talk with non-furry sissy about shaving YOUR furry hide!”

Ernie: “You wouldn’t!? It would be a crime to touch this gorgeous, fluffy, furry body!”

Willie: “Sleep with one eye open baby bro, one eye open!”

Later willie

17/07/2016

Tasha: “Yo, furballs!”

Willie, Ernie, Josie: “Huh?!”

Tasha: “Really is that the best you all can come up with?”

Ernie: “Uh, yeah! (big smile)”

Willie: “Well, I guess it would depend upon what you are wanting us to do, cause let’s face it NNNNNNNtasha, you do want us to do something!”

Tasha: “Well now that you mention it, I COULD use my pink, fluffy, cute bed sanitized and washed, BECAUSE some black and white furball, decided it needed to be used as his litter box and SPRAYED!”

Willie: “Ernie!”

Josie: “Ernie, again?????!!”

Ernie: “I couldn’t help myself, it caaaalls to me, it sits there all pink and fluffy and cute and something inside me says, ‘it’s ok, you can spray it, Tasha won’t mind’ so, see it’s really not my fault!!! The voice made me do it!”

Tasha: “Ain’t gonna work furball. For the next 2 weeks I get your treats!”

Ernie: “Tasha, you can’t, you wouldn’t, you couldn’t I neeeeed those treats, they are my little happy place in the middle of a very long day of sleeping and playing and sprayi…uh I mean working hard to keep my non-furries happy!”

Tasha: “I will expect my treats to be waiting by my cute, pink, fluffy bed IN a cute little bowl!”

Ernie: “Is that all my queen?!”

Tasha: “That shall suffice for now. Be thankful I didn’t want you sheared and your fur used as padding for my cute, pink, fluffy bed!”

Ernie: “I really gotta tell ‘that voice’ to shut up!!!!!”

Later willie

03/07/2016

Willie: “About the vegetable garden (and I use the term loosely) when am I going to get to eat some of the carrots that are suppose to be growing there?”

Non-furry sissy: “Well, Willie that’s kind of a long story.”

Willie: “That’s ok, I just finished 8 hours of my 20 hour nap so I have time to listen!”

Non-furry sissy: “Well, your non-furry dad and I got it tilled, and planted and fencing put up and all the plants and seeds in the ground and……”

Willie: “I was wrong I don’t have time to hear it all, my nap time is now fast approaching, please cut to the chase (as non-furry mom says)!”

Non-furry sissy: “Ok, fine! We didn’t water it like we should have AND we didn’t w**d it like we should have, so, may I interest you in a huge selection of varies and unidentifiable types of w**ds? You may be the first one on your block to partake of such a various and unusual variety of homegrown w**ds, exclusive to this area of the state from your very own right-out-of-your-own-backdoor!-garden!!???”

Willie: “Ya know, non-furry sis, people AND companies reeeeeallllly should hire you to do work for them, cause you can focus on the good side of a bad situation!
BUT all I wanted was a carrot! One carrot that I could lovingly nibble on, lick, chew, gnaw, throw in the air and eat what I wanted and THEN give it to furry baby bro to throw and chase!!!! Need I say that this is NOT the happiest I have been?!”

Non-furry sissy: “How about I just take my awesome self to the store and buy a HUGE bag of organic baby carrots? Would His Furry Highness be a little happy then?!”

Willie: “Well, throw in a LOT of bowing and scraping and mayyyybe I could accommodate your request! You may kiss my furry paws!.............................Just kidding! (so not!).”

Later willie (or mostly known as His Furry Highness)

25/06/2016

Ernie: “Willie why are there no flowers on the biscus bushes?”

Willie: “I am assuming you mean the hibiscus bushes?”

Ernie: “Yeah, biscus.”

Willie: “Ok, letting this one go. Well it is because the deer think they are dessert and let’s not bring this topic up around non-furry sissy.”

Ernie: “But non-furry sissy likes her biscus bushes. And the deer think they must taste great, cause alllll the flowers are gone.”

Willie: “Right, baby furry bro, allllllll the flowers are gone and non-furry sissy reeeeeally likes the flowers, and because there AREN’T any she is not a happy camper.”

Ernie: “Camper, we get to go camping, can I spray out the fire, I’m good at spraying!”

Willie: “Out of allll that I told you about non-furry sissy not liking the deer eating her hibiscus bushes, THAT is what you focus on? Camping and spraying out the fire? Once again I ask myself, where did I miss it in training this fur ball of a baby bro?”

later willie

18/06/2016

Josie: “Hey, guys, furry guys!”

Willie: “Yes Josie, is there something you need to talk about?”

Ernie: “Hey Josie, I was juuuuuust about ready to pounce on my izard and your hollering made him run away!”

Josie: “Ernie, why were you going to ‘pounce’ on a LIZARD not izard?”

Ernie: “Josie, don’t you know anything?! Non-furry mom calls them izards, so THAT’S what it is called!”

Willie: “Uh, furry baby bro, I kinda need to clue you in that non-furry mom has her own vocabulary and calls things reaaaaalllly not what they are. Like she calls camels, Saudi moose, cause she thinks camels look like moose, kinda.”

Josie: “Is that why she calls a butterfly tree, ‘baby flutters’ cause she knows that butterflies like those trees?”

Willie: “Yeah, welcome to non-furry mom world!”

Ernie: “Well, I think I’ll just go live with non-furry mom in ‘non-furry mom world’ cause I like IZARDS!”

Willie: “Where or where did I go wrong with my furry baby bro, now non-furry mom has brainwashed his furry little brain and I must rescue him.”

Josie: “Willie, well I guess for the next few years you are gonna be reaaaaaal busy!”

Willie: “I am so generous sometimes I almost scare myself, (sigh).”

Later willie

07/06/2016

Willie: “I’m bored.”

Ernie: “What’s bored?”

Willie: “What do you mean, ‘what’s bored’? You know very well what it is, you have been it before.”

Ernie: “I don’t think so, ‘your furry highness.’”

Willie: “Yes you have, you were hanging over a kitty stand, saying ‘I’m bored.’”

Ernie: “Well obviously I don’t remember!”

Willie: “How can you NOT remember, you went on and on and on and on…… I finally had to chase you around the house cause I couldn’t stand your whining anymore! Aaaagh! Now I’ve gotten myself so worked up I can’t relax, I need to go climb the climbing wall.”

Ernie: “Ya know, for being the ‘furry baby boy’ I sure know how to get furry big bro out of being “bored” hahahhahahahah”

Later ernie

31/05/2016

Ernie: “Willie, I have been thinking…..”

Willie: “Just a minute furry bro, I think I need to lay down.”

Ernie: “Willie you just did what Josie said was intrputing. Now you owe me YOUR treats when we get some more.”

Willie: “Where did you get the idea that I owe you treats for INTERRUPTING you?”

Ernie: “Willie, everyone knows that that is the rule for intruping!”

Willie: “If I don’t want to be here forever trying to figure out WHERE you got that idea, I’ll give you the treats, ok?”

Ernie: “Ok, and there have to be at least 10.”

Willie: “Now back to what have you been thinking about?”

Ernie: “Thinking, thinking about what?”

Willie: “No, just no, I refuse to go down THAT road again, I’m taking a nap!”

Later willie

19/05/2016

Willie: “Josie, look treats on the climbing wall. I tell ya, non-furry sissy is cooool. She gives us treats, as opposed to non-furry mom, who says, ‘there will be NO treats until your food bowls are finished!’

Josie: “Yeah, my non-furry mom is reaaaal cool! There is a…….”

Ernie: “Hey, guys, TREATS, isn’t this cooool, non-furry sissy is throwing treats all over the top of the wall and the climbing wall, I get to run up and down them.”

Josie: “Ernie, what have we told you about interrupting someone when they are talking?”

Ernie: “What does intrping mean?”

Josie: “Talking before someone else has finished talking.”
Ernie: “Are you finished talking now?”

Josie: “Yes.”

Ernie: “Ok, so now I’m not intruping. Like I was saying, TREATS!”

Willie: “I hope you two DO know why non-furry sissy is throwing treats up on the wall and the climbing wall, you do right?”

Ernie: “Yeah, cause she luuuuvvvvs us.”

Josie: “Because she knows I like my treats and I’m so cute who can resist me?”

Willie: “Let me break it to you furries…….she wants us to exercise, ya know, running up and down the climbing wall, running along the top of the wall, running up and down the climbing tree. Are ya getting the picture?”

Ernie: “I refuse to believe that, non-furry sissy knows how MUCH I like treats!”

Josie: “As cute as I am, I must admit, I think you are correct, Willie. Just wait, I know where to place some reeeeeally nice size furballs in retaliation. Hey Willie, can I have some of yours to use, you have great ones!”

Later willie

13/05/2016

Willie: “Hey, fur balls of the house! I need your attention, NOW!”

Ernie: “What is attention? Do I have one? Do you have one? Can I borrow it? I promise I might give it back,”

Josie: “Willie! I don’t think everyone 4 blocks over heard you! Can you shout just a liiiiiitle bit louder.”

Willie: “Ernie, 1)something you lack. 2)no 3)yes 4)no.” Josie, I didn’t mean to shout, but this is the FOURTH time I have called you both.”

Josie: “Oh, well, I was busy deciding which color of nail polish to use on my cute little claws!”

Willie: "Josie, I don’t remember you having nail polish?”

Josie: “Uh well, your non-furry mom has LOADS of nail polish and I am sure she wouldn’t mind if I just used one or two or three of those many, many colors!”

Willie: “Aarrrgh! I can’t believe it happened again!? How do I get into these ridiculous discussions and forget about what I wanted to ask?
Anyway, I need you two furry felines to make sure that this Friday you are on your BEST behavior.”

Ernie: “Willie, what’s a feline? Is it like an equine? Am I a horse in a kitty’s body, cause I don’t want to be a horse in a kitty’s body, I like my furry body!!!”

Willie: “I will not go insane, I will not go insane, I wil…..”

Josie: “Willie, are you ok? Ya look a liiiiitle gray around the mouth, gray get it, gray around the mouth and you are a gray kitty?! Hahhahaha”

Ernie: “He does look a little gray, I get it Josie, ha hah haahah ha.”
Willie: “I admit defeat. I live with crazy furry felines who are NOT equines, and are NOT a horse in a kitty body!
It’s a good thing I know the angels are here and keep me from pulling all my fur out!
Ok, ok, I’m calm, I’m calm. What I wanted to say was….it is non-furry mom and dad’s anniversary and it would be nice if just for ONE day, you two behaved yourselves.”

Josie, Ernie: “Well, Willie we ALWAYS behave ourselves. We behave ourselves as we choose to behave, ha hahaha. But, because we love the non-furries, we will behave AS they want us to, ok?”

Willie: “Thank you, I appreciate that a lot. Maybe they’ll let us have kitty treats up on the climbing wall, that would be awesome. It’s a good thing that Tasha is such a good, WELL-behaved fur ball.”
Ernie: “Willie, is appreciate anything like………”

Willie: “I’m gone, furry baby bro. You can finish asking Josie whatever you were going to say, I am on my last nerve with you two!”

Josie, Ernie: “Well, Ernie our work here is done. Once again we have banded together to drive Willie up the wall and around the bend! Hah haahahahahahahaha”

Ernie: “Josie, what is a bend, is it like…….”

Josie: “I gotta go Ernie, I think I here Willie calling me from his padded kitty room!”

Later willie

10/05/2016

Ernie: “Willie, Willie, hey Willie!”

Willie: "Yes, Ernie, what is it now?”

Ernie: “What do you mean, what is it now?”

Willie: “This is the 8th time today, today, furry baby bro that you have said the veeeeeeery same words and THEN forget what you are going to ask!”

Ernie: “I don’t think so your furry highness! It is only the 9th time I have asked this!”

Willie: “Ernie, the number 9 is more than the number 8. So you are telling me that you have called me MORE than 8 times?”

Ernie: “I can’t understand you furry bro, I think you are mumbling. I’ll ask you again later, AFTER you have had your hundred hour nap! I have my furry friends to go talk with until you wake up!”

Willie: “(his mouth hanging open) I just have no idea how to respond to this WHOLE STUPID CONVERSATION! Really, I don’t even remember how it started. Maybe I do need a 100 hour nap. Oh well, such is life with such a furry baby bro as I have. Once AGAIN it sure it good that I love the big fur ball!”

Later willie

06/05/2016

Ernie: “Tasha, Tasha look, look a bird bath.”

Tasha: “Ernie, just this ONCE I am going to try to read your furry little brain and try to figure out what you want to say, but, just this once!”

Ernie: “The birds, the birds now have a place to take a bath and it’s right in front of my lanai.!

Willie: “I heard that! What do you mean ‘your lanai?’”

Ernie: “Oh, really? I can’t believe you are STILL saying it’s ‘yours’ it is for allllll of us. And we’re kind enough to share it with the non-furries.”

Non-furry mom, dad and sissy: “We heard that!”

Willie: “Just kidding, I we know you let us share with you. (as the non-furries walk away) Ok really, I let them share it with us!”

Ernie: “Tasha, do you think that I should have non-furry mommie put towels and her lavender soaps on the bird bath for the birdies? I mean I don’t want them to get cold and not be able to get dry after their bath?”

Tasha: “Well, little Ernie I believe you should reaaallllly talk to your non-furry mommie and tell her that she should do that and also to put pink and blue little towels for them AND also put out cedar wood or peppermint soap for the male birdies. I think she would really appreciate you asking her to do that.”

Ernie: “Wow Tasha, you are the bestest furry friend ever!!!”

Josie: “Tasha, that’s just wrong! Birdie towels and soap.”

Tasha: “Yes your right Josie, I should have also told little Ernie to ask non-furry mommie for a blow dryer for their feathers. Hahhahahhahahahha”

Josie for willie…….later

03/05/2016

Willie: “Ernie, Josie non-furry sissy is going to lettuce go into her garden and check out the vegetables growing. She’s going to ‘let us’, got it lettuce, garden?! Never mind, my humor is reserved for a select few and I guess you two just are just not a ‘few’.”

Josie: “Um Willie, you’re right only a ‘few’ get your humor and for that ,the rest of the world is exceedingly grateful!”

Ernie: “Hey, Josie I know that word ‘exceedingly’…that means way beyond a whole lot! That’s funny, isn’t it furry big bro! I learned that from my dixanary!”

Willie: “As I was saying, non-furry sissy said we can go into her garden, BUT not dig up, tear up or in anyway mess with the veges! We should be thankful she didn’t make us sign a paper and promise to clean our own litter boxes if we stepped on a vege!!!!!

Ernie, Ernie!! What in all that is fluffy and furry are you doing?”

Ernie: “Whaaaaa do you mean. Wow, ths gren stf’s merly gd!”

Willie: “That’s it, we’re doomed. Josie I hope you can drag the bag of litter after I scoop around in it with my paws to clean the box.”

Josie: “Oh, so funny you are your Furry Highness, I’ll just throw it on Ernie’s back and let him carry it. Ha haha hahahahaha”

Willie: “Ernie, what part of DO NOT TOUCH non-furry sissy’s veges did you NOT understand?!”

Ernie: “You mean those funny sticky up green things are veges?”

Willie: “Well, I’m surprised you can talk yet and not be mumbling with having not TWO seconds ago, your mouth stuffed with them and trying to talk!”

Ernie: “Why thank you big furry bro, it’s nice of you to notice that I am so talented! Yes, I can talk with my mouth full and eat reeeeeaaaalllllly reallllly fast! I’m blessed that way. Papa God likes me best!!!!”

Willie and Josie: “I have no response to that. Yes, yes I do it’s just tooo ridiculous. Papa God loves us allllll the same. Aaaaaand I’m gonna tell non-furry mommie that you talk with your mouth full!”

Ernie: “I have no response to that. Yes, yes I do.”

Willie: “Well, what is your response?”

Ernie: “Huh, what response?”

Willie: “I need a lavender fix.”

Josie: “I know where non-furry mommie keeps her essential oils, uh I mean I think I remember where I saw the SQUIRRELS getting into them, yeah that’s what I mean.”

Willie: “Josie, you are soooo busted!”

Josie: “I have NO idea what you mean!”

Willie: “Now I need two lavender fixes.”

Later willie

Willie's Critter Tales