14/10/2020
SURAT DARI BUDE OCIE: PERJALANAN TERAKHIR BERSAMA KANGMAS ANDRE (1)
*English version below
Disclaimer:
1. Tulisan ini dibuat tidak berurutan… apa yang teringat, itu yang ditulis… kadang berhenti karena nangis dulu…
2. Tulisan ini juga dari perspektif aku sendiri…
Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun.
Hari Selasa subuh tanggal 22 September 2020 itu adalah hari yang tidak akan bisa aku lupakan. Saat itu aku berusaha membangunkan kangmas Andre (demikian ia dikenal oleh teman-teman dan handai tolanku) karena kami sudah sampai di hotel di Istanbul. Tapi dia sudah tidak menjawab lagi. Aku minta pertolongan dua orang supir yang membawa kami dari kota Samsun (di pinggir laut hitam) ke Istanbul dan beberapa orang pegawai hotel. Tapi mereka pun tidak bisa berbuat banyak, karena Dia sudah memanggil kangmas pulang.
Awal tahun ini kami masih bepergian ke Filipina dan tinggal di sana selama 9 hari. Saat itu Kesehatan kangmas memang sudah kurang baik, tapi dia masih bisa berjalan walau tidak bisa jauh dan harus pelan-pelan. Dia masih bisa pergi ke Kalimantan untuk menyelesaikan shooting film dokumenternya tentang Borneo. Sesudah itu kami masih sempat bersama di Bangkok sebelum dia terbang ke Chile dan kena lockdown sampai beberapa bulan.
Kami bertemu di bandara internasional Istanbul hampir sebulan sebelum kangmas meninggal. Pada waktu itu aku tiba duluan, dan menunggu pesawatnya tiba dari Stuttgart tempat ibunya tinggal. Selama menunggu, aku masih sempat ngurus beli SIM lokal untuk kami berdua karena pasti dia akan langsung minta ganti SIM segera setelah kita masuk di taksi. Pada waktu datang, kangmas sudah diantar pake kursi roda, dan saya ingat pada waktu harus pindah dari kursi roda sudah cukup sulit untuk berdiri dan jalan. Setibanya kami di hotel, manajer hotel langsung menyambut dan mengantar kami ke kamar yang menghadap Bosphorus. Kangmas gembira sekali, tapi juga di situ aku baru menyadari betapa berat sakitnya, karena sulit sekali untuk berdiri dari posisi duduk di sofa yang rendah. Sedih sekali melihat kondisi dia seperti itu tapi aku tahu kalau aku harus kuat dan menguatkannya.
Untuk gambaran betapa kuat tekadnya dalam bekerja, dia bersedia diwawancara untuk televisi dan media cetak walau dengan syarat semua dilakukan di kamar hotel kita. Jadi seperti biasa, aku lah yang mengatur hari apa jam berapa wawancara dilakukan, termasuk mengabadikannya juga. Tidak hanya media yang datang ke hotel kita tapi juga kangmas masih melayani beberapa wawancara TV yang dilakukan via skype. Ada dari RT dan juga PressTV selama seminggu kita di Istanbul. Oh ya, ada juga wawancara via Zoom (ini pertama kalinya dia pakai zoom). Semua ini dijalaninya walau dengan rasa kesakitan dan kalau kita lihat semua wawancaranya, pikirannya masih sangat tajam.
Ini link wawancara dia dengan Ulusal Kanal yang dikasih judul: “Turkey’s route will change the world”
https://youtu.be/vpMUxzyZhUs
Salah satu wawancara terakhirnya. Dan wawancara ini langsung ditayangkan tapi yang versi dubbing bahasa Turki, padahal janjinya mau pakai bahasa Inggris dengan subtitle bahasa Turki. Kangmas sempat merasa kecewa sekali karena kok orang-orang itu tidak menepati janjinya. Aku selalu berusaha menghiburnya dan meyakinkannya kalau mereka akan menayangkan versi bahasa Inggrisnya segera sambil aku juga menghubungi pihak yang mewawancara. Dalam hal seperti ini, memang aku banyak sekali menjadi tameng dan membentenginya dari banyak kekecewaan. Memang banyak sekali orang yang tidak sadar bahwa walaupun terlihat kuat dan sangat teguh pendiriannya, kangmas Andre ini adalah orang yang sangat sensitif. (Aku pun masih menangis kalau ingat bagaimana dia kurang dihargai walau pemikiran-pemikirannya jauh melampaui masanya)
Untuk gambaran bagaimana dia sudah sakit sewaktu datang ke Istanbul, hari kedua kami di Istanbul, kangmas bikin janji untuk ketemu dengan kamerad-kamerad di Turki. Mereka menjemput kami di hotel dan kita pun pergi ke Taksim. Di jalan, kangmas merasa tidak enak badan, dan minta belikan minum. Kami pun belikan minum dan ketika sampai di restoran, kangmas harus dibantu untuk bisa naik beberapa anak tangga untuk masuk ke restoran. Sempat ngobrol sebentar tapi kemudian perutnya sakit. Karena restoran ini juga punya kamar-kamar hotel kami pun minta satu kamar untuk dia bisa berbaring dan istirahat, sebelum diantar kembali ke hotel tempat kami menginap. Aku harus berterimakasih kepada kamerad-kamerad kami di Istanbul (Tunç, Onur, dan satu lagi aku lupa namanya) yang membantu kami mengurus kangmas ketika sakit malam itu, dan juga minta maaf pada mereka karena sudah menyiapkan makan malam yang enak-enak tapi kami tidak bisa menikmatinya, dan karenanya mereka juga tidak bisa ngobrol panjang bersama kangmas.
Besoknya dia sudah bisa kasih wawancara TV.
Selama seminggu di Istanbul itu, kangmas hanya keluar jalan-jalan di dalam hotel saja. Untung hotelnya besar jadi lumayan lah untuk menggerakkan badannya. Kita masih bisa makan malam di restorannya (seharusnya sebagai member chain hotel ini, kita dapat “happy hour”di Club lounge-nya, tapi sejak pandemi Club-nya tutup dan sebagai ganti kita dapat “happy hour”di Bar & Restaurant-nya dengan menu2 yang lengkap seperti makan malam di tempat lain), walau dia kesakitan karena juga ada bisul di pantat. Sekali-kali makan siang juga di restoran lain di hotel juga, atau nulis esai di pinggir kolam renang. Setiap kali, yang paling sulit adalah bangun dari duduk dan sakit pada waktu duduk. Tapi kalau soal menulis, jangan tanya. Dia bilang akan selesaikan dalam 4 jam, atau 2 jam, pasti akan selesai.
*bersambung
LETTER FROM BUDE OCIE: MY LAST JOURNEY WITH KANGMAS ANDRE (1)
Disclaimer:
1. This is not serial writings… I write when I remember things… sometimes I had to stop because it was too much…
2. These pieces are also only from my own perspective...
Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun. (Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Allah we shall return.)
Tuesday, the dawn of September 22, 2020, is a day that I will never forget. I tried to wake kangmas Andre up (as he is known to my friends and relatives) because we had arrived at the hotel in Istanbul. But he was already gone. I asked the help of two drivers who brought us from the city of Samsun (on the black sea) to Istanbul and some hotel employees. But they also couldn't do much, because He had already called kangmas home.
Earlier this year we were still traveling to the Philippines and staying there for 9 days. At that time, his health was not very good, but he could still walk even though he could not walk far and had to take it slow. He still went to Borneo to finish shooting his documentary about the island. And after that we still had time together in Bangkok before he flew to Chile and was locked down for several months.
We met at Istanbul international airport almost a month before kangmas passed away. I arrived before him and was waiting for his plane to arrive from Stuttgart where his mom lives. While waiting, I still managed to buy a local SIM cards for both of us because surely, he would immediately ask for to change SIM cards as soon as we get in the taxi. When he showed up, he was already in a wheelchair, and I remember that when he had to move from the wheelchair to the taxi, it was quite difficult for him to stand up and walk. Upon arrival at the hotel, wheelchair already prepared, and the hotel manager immediately greeted us and escorted us to our room overlooking the Bosphorus. Kangmas was very happy, but there and then, I realized how bad his condition was, because it was so hard for him to get up from a low sitting position on the sofa. It was so sad to see him in this condition. I wanted to cry but I know that I had to be strong and gave him strength.
To illustrate how determined he was, even with his condition, he was willing to be interviewed for television and print media, but all had to be done in our hotel room. As usual, I arranged the time for the interviews. Not only those who had to come to our hotel but kangmas also had several TV interviews conducted via Skype. On RT and PressTV during our first week in Istanbul. There was also an interview via Zoom (that was his first-time using zoom and he was so impatient because it took me too long to connect. Well, he did not understand that we had to wait to be approved to enter the meeting room on zoom.). He did all those interviews even though he was in pain. But if we look at all the interviews he had; his mind was still very sharp.
This is link to his interview with Ulusal Kanal: "Turkey's route will change the world"
https://youtu.be/vpMUxzyZhUs
It was one of his last interviews. And this interview was broadcasted immediately but only the dubbed version in Turkish, even though he was promised that it will be in English with Turkish subtitles. Kangmas felt very disappointed because they did not keep their promises. I tried to cheer him up and convince him that they will broadcast the English version soon. In the meantime, I also contacted the interviewer. Over the years, I often shielded him a lot and protected him from many disappointments. Many people are not aware that even though he looked strong and very firm in his stance, Andre was a very sensitive person. (I still cry when I remember how he was underappreciated even though his thoughts were far beyond his time)
To illustrate how sick he was when he came to Istanbul, our second day in Istanbul, we made an appointment to meet with comrades in Turkey. They picked us up at the hotel and we went to Taksim. On the way to the restaurant, kangmas felt unwell, and asked us to buy him water. When we arrived at the restaurant, kangmas had to be helped to climb a few steps to enter the restaurant. Had a chat for a while but then he had stomachache. Because this restaurant also has hotel rooms, we also asked for one room so he could lie down and rest, before being escorted back to the hotel where we were staying. I have to thank our comrades in Istanbul (Tunç, Onur, and the other I forgot his name) who helped us take care of him when he was sick that night, and also apologize to them who already prepared a wonderful dinner but we couldn’t enjoy it, and that they also can't have long chat with kangmas.
The next day he was able to give a TV interview.
On our first week in Istanbul, kangmas only did the walking inside the hotel. Luckily, it was a big hotel, so it was quite OK to just walked here and there inside it. It can still be considered a little exercise for him. We still went for dinner (well, it was supposed to be a “happy hour”at the Club lounge, but since the start of the pandemic, the Club was closed, and members get “happy hour” instead. And in this hotel the food offered can be considered a full meal everywhere else. So, we ordered different menu everyday). He was in pain, but still wanted to go and had dinner out of our hotel room. We also had lunches at the other restaurants in the hotel or write at the gazebo next to the swimming pool. The most difficult part of this outing was to get up from sitting position as well as sitting itself. But if it comes to writing, he was very strong! If he told me that he would finish his essay in say 4 or 2 hours, then he would have finished it in that time.
*to be continued
