13/03/2024
SUNDAY 10th March 2024
THE FOG ON THE TYNE
We escaped deepest darkest Thanet on the Friday night, mainly because if you get stuck on the M25 due to an "incident", you can lose the will to live, let alone cruise! Spent a peaceful evening at our second "home", the Holiday Inn in Brentwood where we were joined for dinner by about 25 footy players from Cornwall, who apparently HAD planned on a wild night in Brentwood, but when they realised how far out of town they were,settled for a chill out in the MPW restaurant instead.I didnt hear a single cornish accent though, which saddens me- I wonder if that lovely burr will soon die out.
Anyhoo, Saturday morning, we set off on the trek to Newcastle to catch the Fred Olsen Balmoral on Sunday. Why Newcastle I hear you ask, when we could have far more easily have driven 20 minutes to Dover... there is little so crazy as two 60+ year old Aurora chasers on a mission! The reason we chose this particular cruise is that one of the dedicated speakers is Wil Photography, the resident astronomer at the Twice Brewed Inn in Haltwhistle and Pete LUVS him!! Anyway it was an interesting exercise in watching the temperature plummet from a comfortable 14 degrees in Essex to a somewhat chillier 5 degrees in Newcastle. Somewhere along the way we lost the sun and blue skies too- this was the true north/south divide!
The hotel in Gosforth where we stayed on Saturday night was relaxed and comfy and we woke refreshed for our adventures starting today.
Pedro our taxi driver had a boot bigger than the tardis where he stashed 3 full size cases and a smaller one, still leaving room for Pete and I travel in comfort to the terminal.
Now for those who have never cruised, the check in process at cruise terminals is a delight. Your luggage is whisked away on arrival and the next time you see it is in your cabin.
The whole process from check in to being on board takes about 15 minutes and having arrived early (11.30) we were on the ship at just gone midday. Then your holiday starts.. beats Gatwick onto the proverbial cocked hoop!
Restaurants and bars were all open as we arrived, ( must have heard I was coming!) , but we were good and just sourced free coffee to settle in. Although the buffets were open for lunch, the Geordie Brekky at the hotel had defeated us.
We then pootled off to the cabin where the luggage arrived within the next 40 minutes. Loads of storage in the cabin , and I was delighted to see that the walk in shower truly WAS walk in. There are loads of cabins with showers over the bath, but I've BEEN in one of those during a force 9 gale and they are really not fun!
The cabin is beautifully laid out with a 6 foot bed, settee, 2 chairs and a desk for those who wish to work ( or blog!). Fresh fruit in the room and a bottle of fizz in an icebucket were nice features. 2 full size wardrobes and lots of drawer space too, which is just as well because a trip to the Arctic necessitates a LOT of different clothing.. I will not recognise Pete once he is gussied up for his onland excursions!
The bathroom was split into 3 areas- a walk in shower, then 2 ( yes 2!) sinks and then hallelujah, a separate toilet.
Balcony looks nice with 2 loungers and 2 chairs but with the general gloom of yesterday morphing into nonstop rain today, you will have to wait for those photos!
Once unpacked and having watched our safety video, we headed down to register for our lifeboats and then surprise surprise it was beer o'clock!
They no longer require all guests to don their life jackets and leg it downstairs at a set time to one of the theatres before sailing, thank god. That was a nightmare of orange plastic and grumbling passengers who were fretting about missing happy hour or their dinner because one or two indviduals hadn't turned up, and they had to be sourced , once missing from the roll call before anyone else could leave. Covid apparently triggered the change due to people not wanting to be spending too much time close to total strangers in a confined space - I knew there had to be some upside to something that shut the world down for the best part of 3 years!
The cruise we booked included a drinks package , which considering that costs £35 per head per day if booked onboard , seemed a good deal. Pete has pottered off to watch the rugby and I am currently sitting here slightly smugly, nursing a cold Stella in the knowledge that all the unpacking is done.
We could not have our dinner table for two- apparently they were booked up in 2022 ,but seemingly all the miserable buggers who wanted a table for two, have been put together on 3 tables at our end of the restaurant so that should be fun! More to follow on that later.
We've opted for the 18.15 sitting with a welcome show at 20.45.. the people on the second sitting don't see the show until 22.30! This would not have suited us because we love our quizzes and are fully intending on winning at least ONE during this cruise. Last time we won clocks , key fobs, notebooks, tote bags... not to be sniffed at.
Oh no, I've just heard the cry of the native yorkshire man behind me - "Ow much??!".. I'm guessing hes just seen the price of the drinks package!!
Pete found a bar to watch the rugby so I was left to my own devices.
SWEET LITTLE ROCK AND ROLLER
3.30, the plan was a siesta to avoid some of the ever increasing swell but alas, that was not to be. I went back to the room with the full intention of getting between the covers but my lovely cabin steward had other ideas, so with the brilliant timing that only happens when you least expect it, I was mostly undressed and half hopped in bed when there was a knock at the door and in came the lovely Allana. Not quite sure who beat the retreat quicker- me back into my dress, or her out of the door! Anyhow, knowing she'd be back shortly I waited until she came back 20 minutes later and we had a nice chat. Plans were thwarted yet again within 10 minutes ,by a lovely young man bearing fresh flowers for the cabin. Bearing in mind how rough the sea was at this point , I did ask myself if a 12" high glass vase was a good move, but it survived the night so clearly it's a tried and tested item.
By this time I was thinking I still had time for about 25 winks ( 40 winks being long gone) but no... in comes the delightful Saba with predinner canapes! I gave up at this point and settled for blogging.
When Pete reappeared we changed for dinner and went off to meet our 4 "grumpy" table mates who had also been unable to get tables for 2. They were lovely and we had a few jokes during dinner about coming back tomorrow to find everyone else didnt like us and then we would all get our desired table for two. Fortunately we got on well enough that this wont happen!
Some poor soul fell down the stairs after leaving our dining room, necessitating the first Code Alpha Red call of the cruise. Hopefully he's ok, he wasnt at dinner tonight. Best wishes to him, it was a dire bumpy night .
A pleasant couple of hours passed chatting and then it was showtime in the main Neptune's Lounge. This was the time that the ship's forward momentum, my forward momentum and the surging sea came togethet in literally the perfect storm... I rottered ( ran/tottered) all the way from the back to the front of the theatre where the remaining seats were , together with a somewhat bemused Pete who took it all in his stride and was already seated. This was the moment that the Balmoral decided upwards and forwards was the best movement to cause maximum embarrassment and I ended up in a somewhat ungainly position, mostly sitting on the stage, waiting for the rocking to calm enough for me to make it the 6' to a seat.. it might not sound much of a distance but trust me, it felt it, especially as the front seats swivel as you try to hold on for dear life.. think the Teacup ride at the funfair and you have the picture!
The show was good, mostly an intro to different resident groups of singers, dancers and a great classical musical trio.
SWAY
When that finished, I felt that was enough for me for one night and I headed back to the room, whilst Pete went in search of the quiz at the other end of the ship. I thought it was in very poor ( but funny!) taste that the resident pianist was playing Sway as we all weebled our way out of the theatre. It wasn’t just me!
Pete enjoyed the quiz although it was a bit tougher than the fare we get at Warner Hotels and we both decided before midnight that sleep was the order of the day.
I opted for the side of the bed where the wall was so that I could spiderman my way to the loo for the inevitable night time visits and we drifted off to sleep. Needless to say Pete slept like a log throughout and I only woke once when the bathroom door crashed open and shut somewhat loudly at the peak of the storm - my fault for not securing it properly I suspect.
We had been told to advance our watches by one hour before we slept, but being smartarses we assumed that our phones and tablets would automatically do that.
MONDAY
Dear reader, they didn't. The alarm went off at 9am on my phone and we werent 100% sure if that was the actual time or still London time.. it was the latter as we found out by messaging a couple of uk friends to double check. As our first talk was at 10.45 and it was actually already 10.05, breakfast was scuppered but we made it in time to make Wil Cheungs interesting talk about auroras. Turns out it is his first cruise up here ( maybe first cruise full stop?) and it was reassuring to see that he was doing a few unexpected sideways manoeuvres as the ship decided to test his sea legs.
Great talk as expected and then we went in search of brunch. For those not in the know, there is almost always food available on a cruise ship so we headed for the main Ballindoch restaurant at about 12.30 only to find it was nearly empty..I guess most people HAD main breakfast and hunger pangs had not yet set in.. it was busying up by 1.15 when we left. Pleasant combo of light lunch a la carte or for the adventurous ( Pete!) the buffet serving a great range of meats, fish and local specialities. I went for a la carte and had sushi followed by sweet and sour chicken- both were beautifully presented and just the right size. Pete tried some buffet items which looked tasty enough and took one for the team by trying the chocolate brownie, which he declared to be delicious.
To let lunch go down, we adjourned to the Lido Lounge where it said that table tennis would be on. Not much could potentially be funnier than 2 people trying to play ping pong on a heaving ship , but sadly someone had decided it probably wasnt the best activity given the conditions. Anyway it was v peaceful up there and we decided to stay and catch up on downloaded papers ( Pete) and blogging (me).
3pm Pete went to listen to a talk by an man who has lived in Norway for years, whilst I had another bash at a nanna nap with slightly more success. Pete then went for 3.45 coffee with Wil and turned up at 18.08, ( we were due at dinner at 18.15),still unshaven and deffo not in his posh togs. However he turned it round and we arrived only 2 minutes late for dinner.
WINNER TAKES IT ALL
Formal evening this evening - there were still plenty of places to eat if you didn't fancy that, but I have to say Pete looked great in a dickiebow. Tasty meal consisting of lobster bisque, duck and then crepe suzette to finish. Unfortunately it disappeared before i could photograph it but it was v good.
The sea has returned to a calm mill pond now ( compared to last night at least!)and so now it's a pleasure to join in more activities.. it wasn't seasickness that got me, ( Avomine sees to that- best sea sickness prevention in my opinion), it was the dodgy knees. So quiz at 10pm and we won on the tie breaker. The question was- “ it takes 17 muscles to smile , but how many muscles does it take to frown?”. Sadly as a past stalwart of Cosmo, Marie Claire etc, I knew the exact answer… and it’s why I try never to frown…
DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING
We then sat a while and watched the Silent Disco… it’s an interesting observation, that in my opinion, the men who got up and danced to their own thing ,seemed almost totally disinhibited- they were having a ball! Very popular activity and at any point, I’d guess there were at least 30 people on the dance floor.
We finished off our evening in the Morning Light pub, listening to Jon Kelly play some great toons, including “Stray Cat Strut”.. if you’re under 30, please google it!
One interesting observation about our cabin.. it has a 3 foot long window directly from the shower which is opposite a floor to ceiling mirrored wardrobe...it has a venetian blind for privacy if required, but it begs the question as to why it's there at all? Is it the FO equivalent of mirrored ceilings for those who should know better at our age? I've come to the slightly disappointing conclusion that its either to let light in if there's a power cut , or it's there as a guiding light at night for the nocturnal loo goers..I preferred my original thoughts though..
Tomorrow about 7am we should start hugging the Norwegian coastline up to Bodo, where we expect to dock on Wednesday morning.
TUESDAY 12th March
As expected we hit the Norwegian coastline early this morning. Pete went off to listen to another talk by Wil and he said it was highly entertaining and informative. He joined me for coffee and the morning quiz at 11am, where we did not fair quite so well. If we hadn’t changed 2 answers we would have won, but hey no .Early lunch/ late brekky in the Avon restaurant, which seemed a little disorganised compared to the other restaurants we’ve tried… no service for a while despite being opposite the waiter station, and the only ones there and then, like London Buses, about 3 waiters came along in quick succession asking us if we’d like to order… it was fine though. We really went in there for the views of the mountains and we weren’t disappointed.
Afternoon quiz was Name that Tune and we didn’t do well at that , mainly due to a couple of very obscure older tunes that I knew but couldn’t recall.
The ping pongers were out in force throughout the afternoon and aside from having to chase the ball quite a way if it was missed, it looked fun.
Spent the afternoon nattering to other passengers in between popping out to see some of the spectacular coastal views, before changing and heading to Colours & Tastes restaurant, one of the 2 speciality restaurants onboard. We were not disappointed in the quality, taste or presentation of the food.. very interesting flavours and colours as per the name!
The show was a “ deceptionist” called David McCaulay and apparently he does 2 shows on this sailing. Very personable Irishman with the gift of the gab, and some very unusual illlusions and tricks - my favourite was well.. I can’t tell you.. it would spoil the surprise if you are on another cruise and he appears..suffice to say when he says “watch the spinning wheels”, just watch them!
After that we adjourned to the Lido Lounge for yet another quiz that we didn’t win, followed by a fairly raucous but fun karaoke session, fuelled in no small part by 2 younger ladies who had imbibed well of the drinks package and it transpires, are at our dinner table second sitting. I have the feeling they may be suffering for their art in the morning!
Back in the cabin now, and the intention now is to dock in Narvik late afternoon and spend overnight there, as Bodo was deemed too unsafe to dock, given the weather in that area. Water is off throughout the ship from midnight until 5am for maintenance. I think people are quite understanding of the need for safety and comfort first, so I didn’t hear anyone complaining about Bodo.. Footnote to follow on that on Wednesday's notes!
WEDNESDAY 13th March
Ooh what a lie in! We stayed watching the karaoke til late and then conked out very successfully at about 2am... so successful were we in chasing zzzs that we TOTALLY missed the 2.30am alarm telling us via the tv that the Northern Lights were visible! Apparently they weren't so strong last night ,better expected tonight. Just need to set the TV to channel 20 and soothing music will apparently gently wake us if the Northern Lights are spotted. The unexpected bonus of missing Bodo due to high winds, was the overnight berth in Narvik.
MOANY MOANY
Lunch first ( since we totally missed breakfast!) . We went to the main Ballindoch restaurant to grab something- me something light and brunchish, Pete something a bit more substantial as he wanted to walk into Narvik tonight. Well, what can I say about our randomly chosen shared table guests? 2 were fine if quiet - nothing wrong with that. Then 2 couples who were REALLY unhappy that we missed Bodo.. they would not have it that the Captain wouldn't dock because of adverse weather.. in their ( uninformed )opinion, it was all to do with saving money on moorage fees. Not much point in arguing the toss, life is too short. And FO presumably still had to pay moorage for Narvik?
HE MAY BE SOME TIME...
Anyhoo, lunch was followed fairly quickly by a quiz (natch!) and bingo, where I won a game! That'll pay for a few sherbets!
Back to the cabin to scoff canapes and a pre dinner gin and watch Pete togging up like Scott of the Antarctic , even though i pointed out it was only -1 degree.. positively tropical to me! We both got some fantastic pictures of the sunset.. a breathtaking vision.
Sooo..sporting a t shirt, 2 jumpers,2 coats, a hat, a scarf, gloves ( 1 maybe 2 pairs) a balaclava ,2 pairs of socks, ice grips and usb handwarmers, he toddled off in the direction of departure and I went to have dinner in a somewhat decimated dining room..he looked like a Crime Watch reject by the time he left.. I'd have struggled to recognise him in a line up!
Anne and John nearly got their original wish of a table for two, except for the gooseberry called Nicky. But we had a good meal, finished off with a delicious espresso creme brulee. I left a note to the second sitting karaoke girls, saying we enjoyed their contribution last night, and we hope they enjoyed the inevitable hangover this morning! Anne and John went to the show where there should actually be seats free tonight, and I'm sitting in the Morning Light catching up on scrabble and blogging, listening to the lovely guitarist Jon Kelly.
OOPS! I DID IT AGAIN !
I had reassured Pete that if he missed dinner, he could catch up at the (free ) cheese evening at 21.45.. little did I know that this would be cancelled because half of the expected captive audience would be ashore exploring the delights of night-time Narvik. Anyhow he won't starve because the midnight supperclub opens at 23.00. For those friends who are not cruisers, it is VERY VERY difficult not to find food on a cruise ship!
Well, he has reappeared at 21.30 and true to form, no food til 23.00. However twiglets and nuts are available from the bar staff so he won’t starve! He took some great photos of night time Narvik including an extremely cold looking Arctic Sauna that appears to involve sitting in the sea!
The lovely Norberto in the Lido Lounge has sourced twiglets so food crisis averted! The Impromptu Trio were back to 3 tonight which was a relief! Quiz at 10pm. Fewer people on board BUT and it is a BIG BUT, the couple who own 14 quizzing companies are also here. Poo.
Well needless to say, even with a score of 13/15, we still lost because…. ( see above). I was pleased with knowing that the collective noun for butterflies was a flutter. Word to the wise for anyone embarking the Balmoral anytime soon, the quiz team only have one book to choose their questions from, so the collective name for pandas has come up 3 times so far in 5 quizzes. However, if Hubert ( yow!) asks questions, be they music related or general knowledge, there will be some Caribbean related questions. Just saying..
Back to the Morning Light now to listen to Jon and his guitar, before a relatively early night as Pete is on a tour in the morning. By the way, he said Narvik was so well gritted, he didn’t need the ice grips.
