Brisbane Bubblers (2024)

02/02/2024

Boundary street west end outside the Kurilpa Library.

This one is situated directly in the sweltering sun for most of the day and coupled with the all-metal body to say I had low expectations is an understatement. The button was hot. Burned my fingers a little but nothing mum couldn’t kiss better, I’m a strong guy.

Stream was weak and not overly consistent forcing me to crane my neck down. A little bit of extra pressure can go a long way in improving the user experience. To my surprise the temperature of the water wasn’t wholly unpleasant, probably around room temp which was unexpected based on the amount of sun this one gets. Tasted not too bad either as far as bubblers go but I could use some more of that metallic tinge we all crave.

All in all it’s a pretty hot day and the water was wet so I’ll chalk this one up to a win.

6/10

27/08/2023

Bay Tce Wynnum

Pretty hot today so I took the opportunity to try out what Wynnum had to offer. Someone shoved a rock in the bubbler. Wanted to quench my thirst but got sprayed instead. Don’t know what I was expecting. Pretty cool water so I’d almost call it a sundee arvo win. 5/10 would spray again

21/04/2023

We would like to pay our respects to our compatriots and fellow obscure connoisseurs Potato Cake Appreciation Society.

Although we find it morally reprehensible that they refuse to always use the correct “potato scallop” terminology, the respect they showed to local practice while in the Gold Coast is truly a credit to their professionalism and integrity. Their commitment to fine fried goods and thoughtful review is a credit to our nascent profession.

Fry on fellas 10/10

01/04/2023

Warning: this is a long one, but it’s a two in one so I think I have liberties.

Behold the bubbler duo that can be found located on the ground floor of the State Library of QLD.

A day of walking around South Bank against my better judgement brought me to this bubbler. I’d just stopped by at the zoo next door (don’t bother, all the animals are dead, even the flying whale) and found myself feeling parched.

This image shows the duality of man(-made drinking receptacles). On the left, a short, stout, dare I say impotent bubbler struggles to perform, evidently under no pressure at all. The specimen on the right however stands tall, producing a powerful jet of cool, tasty water that could quench the thirst of the most exhausted reader in the entire building.

I know what you’re thinking, this is just another common case of shared water pressure meaning that running both bubblers concurrently results in a drop in quality for both units. Yet, this isn’t the case, this image is trying to convey that these bubblers although connected in form are not connected in water supply.

I’m not going to go into depth on the physical design of these bubblers. It’s a common design and serves its purpose adequately.

The differences between these two bubblers are reminiscent of the Oscar award winning movie “Twins (1988)”.

For the uneducated of you out there, in the film, two twins are separated at birth and reunite years later, realising there is a significant disparity in attractiveness between them. In an almost exact parallel to the film, the bubblers standing before me are twins but in name alone. The physically flawless bubbler on the right represents the “good looking” twin played by the beautiful actor/visionary Danny DeVito. The bubbler on the left therefore mirroring the “unattractive” twin played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

These stations have two bubblers for a reason. Accessibility is an important thing to consider, especially within the realm of providing drinking water. It’s easy to brush it off as “ha ha the short bubbler doesn’t work” when you’re not the person who is unable to reach the uppermost bubbler for any number of reasons. For this reason, I find the quality of this bubbler to be completely inadequate. Furthermore, the bubbler next to it, a triumph of craftsmanship, sits taunting those for whom it sits just out of reach.

Its difficult to review these bubblers as individual entities without having some sort of bias through comparison. The juxtaposition of quality makes a good bubbler great, and casts a shadow that highlights how much of a shame it is when a bubbler simply does not work.

For this review I will not be attempting to review these bubblers without bias. This contrast is part of the user experience and in the end isn’t that all that matters for these bubblers of utilitarian design.

1/10 For the bubbler on the left, it’s still useable for those brave enough for the whole-mouth approach, but all in all an incredibly poor user experience.

8/10 for the bubbler on the right. Don’t expect anything fancy but it’s nice tasting refrigerated water and great pressure.

25/03/2023

The water bubbler outside the front of the Mater Hospital in Brisbane! What a marvelous invention. This green bubbling beauty looks like it's straight out of an ancient Roman courtyard, with water spewing forth from the mouth of a decaying yet ferocious lion. I half-expected to see a toga-clad Caesar taking a sip from it as I approached but realistically would be more likely to see a South Brisbane denizen using it as a urinal.

Now, I have to say, the water temperature left a bit to be desired. It was lukewarm at best, which was a bit disappointing on a hot Brisbane day. But fear not, my thirsty friends, for the pressure more than made up for it. This bubbler was a veritable firehose of hydration, blasting the water out with such force that it could have knocked me over if I wasn't both careful and highly experienced.

And let's not forget the design. I mean, who doesn't love drinking from the mouth of a lion? It's like something out of a fairy tale. I half-expected the water to be enchanted, or to grant me three wishes or something, with the age of this bubbler one or the wishes would likely be some form of orally transmitted disease. Alas, it just quenched my thirst, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

Would have been a great sight in its hey-day but as you can see the bowl has seen better days.

Overall, I'd say this water bubbler is a must-visit for anyone in the area. It may not be the coldest water you'll ever taste, but the pressure and the design more than make up for it. So grab your cup, your water bottle, or just stick your head under the lion's mouth and take a sip. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Solid 7/10

20/01/2023

Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round, for I have found the Holy Grail of water-dispensing devices - the perfectly average water bubbler in the Brisbane CBD.

Upon approaching this majestic fountain, I was immediately struck by its unassuming nature. There were no grandiose claims of "ice-cold" or "crystal clear" water to be found. Just the visual promise of a free and clear source of drinking water. And let me tell you, it delivered on that promise. The water was of an average temperature, neither too hot nor too cold. It was like Goldilocks had personally taste-tested it and declared it "just right."

But it's not just the temperature that was average, oh no. The taste was also nothing to write home about. It was water. Pure, unadulterated water. And you know what? It was exactly what I needed. Sometimes, you don't want to be knocked over the head with the taste of cucumber and lemon. Sometimes, you just want to quench your thirst and move on with your day.

And quench my thirst it did, thanks to the good flow of water. I didn't have to suck on that spout like a newborn calf trying to get milk from its momma. No, this water bubbler was more like a trusty old horse, steady and reliable.

But the real cherry on top of this perfectly average sundae was the metal kangaroos nearby. I mean, who doesn't love a good metal kangaroo? They added a touch of quirkiness and fun to the otherwise mundane task of getting a drink of water.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But wait, didn't you mention a slightly metallic taste?" Why, yes, dear reader, I did. But let's be real here, it's not like I was drinking from a mountain stream. It's water from a public fountain. And honestly, it was such a slight metallic taste that it barely registered.

The only downside to this otherwise unremarkable water bubbler was the high pedestrian traffic. But let's be real, that's just the price you pay for being in the heart of the city.

In conclusion, if you're looking for a water bubbler that will change your life, this isn't it. But if you're just looking for a reliable source of average-tasting, room temperature water with a good flow and metal kangaroos nearby, look no further. This water bubbler is the one for you.

7.67/10 (this number has been generated by a bot)

18/01/2023

Kurilpa Bridge, south bank side.

Doesn’t bloody work 0/10

19/12/2022

The Gabba, Woolloongabba

The day awoke, sky littered with cloud providing a modest ambient temperature. The masses arrived in fine form for what would prove to be a fantastic first day of test cricket. A fortuitous toss saw Australia flick the first ball from the Stanley Street side, setting the tone for the rest of the match. With wickets amounting in quick succession, the excitement grew and the sun affirmed its presence over the carnage that would ensue. As the day warmed, the larrikinism surmounted and a bead of sweat glistenened on my brow. I was parched. Tasked with the search for a viable delivery system of aqueous remedy, I peeled myself away from the action at the end of the over. And there it was, right behind a Wally being escorted off premise, the most magical site to confirm what would be an excellent day. I spotted this Sheila with a cracking chassis and boom, there's her sister. I mustered up the last of my saliva to wet my lips after having been bled dry from $10 Northerns. I lean in for one, nervous and sweaty like a boy in fresh vans at the school disco. But with the first caress from this angel's lustrous ark, a sense of warmth and holiness overcame me. And then I panicked. I had been away too long from what was an exemplar of Australian bowling that I was sure not to miss. I attempted to break this holy kiss with all my might but was entwined within her. She knew what she was doing. I settled and relinquished control. And as she held me there, my eyes opened to see Scotty Boland, taking his paces on the monitor, expertly positioned for a craned neck at the watering hole. It was him and only him who was able to tear us from each other. I found my feet again and was gathered by two strapping young gents. Ricky and Joe, I would like to thank you for bringing me back down to earth.
Although there was no third day or third bubbler, we were treated to a showcase of the true Australian summer. I don't like cricket, I love it.

9/10 good line and length

08/12/2022

The Zoo Venue Bubbler

I believe this to be the first time that a bubbler has been reviewed for a second time on this page. The Zoo bubbler review from 2019 came with heavy praise regarding the strong, icy cold stream powering out of an unassuming spot within the venue. 3 years later, much has changed, as we have seen reciprocated throughout our society over the last few years. An original 8.5-9 score left very little room for improvement and we will discuss below the necessary (?) changes that have occurred.

I find myself at The Zoo once again observing; occasionally enjoying, a set of live music from a group of bands hailing from Airlock Studios.

Shimmy shaking their way into the already steaming brisbane music scene, S**g Rock a local outfit, have only made it steamier. Who are these thundering authors of thirst I hear you croak? They’re the latest in a long string of derivative, unimaginative surf rock bands gracing The Fortitude Valleys many slick, non-stick venues.

Who are these two supplementary bubblers that have been given the privilege to land themselves side by side with a bubbler with such praise? These three Barney bubblers sitting neatly aside one another? Well if you remember the icy cold bubbly boy from dayth month yearteen you may recognise the location of these bubblers. What was one is now three!!

Once icy cold, with great pressure and a fantastic parabola has shifted to a quantity over quality situation. Low pressure, not cooled and certainly not a lot of lighting. On top of this each bubbler shared water pressure. A repeating story with many multi Barneys. Cups were free though. Overall good for making friends and a low test pressure p***s.

The first downgrade I have observed over the last 4 years of being a bubbler connoisseur, is the future of bubblers moving towards convenience over quality or is consistency and availability valued? Up to the people to decide.

6.5/10 (x3) for the bubblers

10/10 for the zoo due to being one of the venues leading the front for free and accessible water out of our favourite drinking receptacle.

29/07/2022

Forgot my water bottle, so the gap creek reserve bubbler is a 10/10 in my books. Great arc and flow to boot.

19/05/2022

Bubbler?

12/02/2022

Reminder that if you’re vaccinated venues in Brisbane have almost no covid restrictions so go out and support your local bands and get back into the live music culture.

19/11/2021

Facebook has spoken, we are the number 2 live music venue behind Brisbane bubblers?

Poole

16/10/2021

Alright, now I got a bit to say. We've all been enlightened to the farts that don't stink down on James Street but let me present you to the bubbler that don't drink. This thing is a whimsical piece of architectural beauty that sees form go well infront of function. I assume this dribbly sprout is aspiring to live up to the plastic lips of the locals. With the terrible trajectory of a failed Instagram influencer, I guess you can't blame the bub for being a follower.
This tip off was sent in by our Sipper on the Street, Dom. Thanks for being a real one. As you can see in this pic, it truly is a prawn cracker. A great head with no body!
3/10 😴

11/10/2021

Location - The Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital (RBWH)

It was a bloody hot afternoon, and as I was walking down the hall I could feel the sweat dripping. The bubblers were calling my name, until one finally decided to show itself.

I was honestly a little taken back at first from the raw power of this disease magnet. Yet I was instantly refreshed after the first sip from my bottle, as all previous worries of dehydration seemed to drift away. Im more then convinced RBWH has this bubbler jacked straight into the arctic. Sadly I wasn’t allowed to test out the jet powered stream due to a cheeky pandemic. But best believe I will be back for a proper sip.

8/10

Stay wary sippers

06/10/2021

South Brisbane Cemetery

Now here’s a location we haven’t done before. And what better timing with the absolute f**k-off heat just beginning to set in. If you have ever looked for a bubbler with a bit of edge (hello fellas with goth gfs), this is the sipping spot for you. I’ve topped up my vitals here both during the day and at night, and I would strongly suggest having a little walk around the place after dark for effect (plus the magpies are heatseeking during the day) followed by a much chillier sip.

The bubbler itself, simple and classic. It’s no secret these green ones get the job done, and this is no different. Perfect flow, good/great temperature depending on time (takes a while to cool down in direct sunlight), and that sweet Brisbane reservoir taste. Top up your dog while you’re here too.
Location: 10/10
Bubbler: 7-10/10
Threats: magpies, ghosts

02/10/2021

Quick lil Caloundra trip with the boys,bubblers are mint g. Keep it up caloun-town

Brisbane Bubblers