12/08/2024
Three biblical reasons why most Christian marriages fail.
1. A cracked foundation.
Falling in love with that special someone comes with a euphoric, uncontrollable desire to get to know them and spend as much time as possible with them. This is where our most ugly self is put in the lowest drawer.
We do all we can to put our best foot forward. We take great pains in being our best selves when taking them out, surprise them with that perfume they love and always wanted. Every day, we spend hours on the phone, just to hear their voice. We spend hours painting a perfect picture of a relationship that has little chance of ever becoming.
We spend hours with them, looking at their starry eyes and their affirmation of us, makes us feel they are the best thing that ever happened to us since our last dreaded relationship with that loser we now call an ex.
“ I can’t live without him,” you will hear a woman say. “Ey, my man, I don’t know what she does to me,” a guy will proudly whisper.
The daze of a new found relationship has led many to spend time and time again , not focusing on the main thing, which is building the strength of the relationship foundation, instead dig into the trap of pre-marital s*x.
With this and not wanting to continue living in sin, they ‘sanctify’ their love by running down the altar, rings in hand, vows welling up in their mouths, forgetting that their union is not based on the fear of the Lord but on the weak foundation of lust.
When challenges come, which they will, that marriage gets shaken to the core and its walls start to crack. And if nothing is done to fortify the foundation, it might come crashing down.
“But we have repented,” one might retort. True repentance is not muttering a few heartfelt words driven by sorrow in God’s direction.
Try building a house on sand and see if repentance will prevent it from being washed away in the torrents. True repentance, will require doing something tangible to build a strong foundation.
The fear of the Lord and involving Him in the initial stages of any relationship will set the tone for its future success. It was the Lord who emphasized the importance of a strong foundation; the foundation of His word in Matthew 7:25.
We will do well to heed His warning.
2. The relationship with parents.
In all the bliss that comes with meeting someone new and being love-struck, one should not overlook the importance of the quality of the relationship their partner has with their parents/parent, or the person who plays the parent role in their life.
This might not look that important but it is, if you are a Christian. The bible promises that it will go well in the land for the person who honours their parents. I would take it that the opposite is just as true.
How we honour, respect and take care of our parents, will go a long way in ensuring that we walk in the blessings the Lord promises for honouring a parent/s.
If you meet a partner who has no regard for their parents, or who constantly fights with them and calling them names, you will have problems for sure in the future. Love will not rescue you.
It would be advisable that before you run down the aisle, with rings in hand and vows welling in your mouths, you ensure that they work on their relationship with their parents or that they genuinely forgive them, if it is impossible to reconcile. This act will set them free and usher in blessings in your lives. It would be a very sad thing to constantly, everyday go against the wind in your marriage, fighting just to see breakthroughs.
Well, if you are going through endless problems, almost breakthroughs and failure, the issue might be nothing else, but their dishonour of their parents or your dishonour of your parents.
Mark 7:10 has very strong words for those who dishonour their parents. Don’t take burning coals and put them on your lap.
3. Lack of acknowledgement, value and involvement.
All of us at some point have felt not acknowledged, not valuable and have felt as if our involvement is not important at all. This makes us to withdraw and not really care what happens next. How one is treated, is very important to them.
Now, imagine what we have done to Holy Spirit. We have not acknowledged, valued and involved Him in our relationships, marriages and families. We hardly ask Him how He wants us to treat our partners or what game plan He has for our issues. When one preaches, they rely on Him but when we love our partners, we rely on us, and our flawed thinking.
In the 2016 somewhere there, I once gave a young couple, by direction of Holy Spirit , a solution to their marital problem. The solution was that they spend time praying in tongues for their marriage. They did this, and they started seeing changes.
Initially before I met them, they were working with their pastor to make sense of their issues. Two weeks after I had seen them and given them direction on what to do by way of Holy Spirit, I had a call with them, and they told me that their pastor told them that their problem was demonic and needed to be cast out.
After he tried to cast out the problem, they were back to square one. His solution, didn’t come from involving Holy Spirit, it came from speculation. It was at that time that I began to see that all the solutions we have must come from Him. He cares for our issues more than we do.
All relationship , marital and family problems, have their solution in acknowledging, valuing and involving Holy Spirit.
1 Chronicles 7:14.
PS: Do join us for the launch of South African Family And Relationship Institute on the 31st of August 2024, at the Grosvenor library, Bluff at 10:00 – 12:00.
To book, whatsApp Promise Singh on 068 373 1874
