Breaking The Distance

03/09/2024

13/08/2024

“Summer Days”
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After the events of last week, this week has been a complete turnaround. I (Tash) was supposed to be working in Manchester from Monday - Wednesday, however due to all the riots last week I didn’t feel comfortable taking my family into that energy.
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But, instead of sitting in a conference room for 3 days whilst it’s 28 degrees outside we are spending full days together as a family.
Marthe is off work and I have a completely free diary.
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It would be really easy to focus on the negative side of the situation e.g loss of earnings etc. But our focus has been on the protection we feel and the fact that we have been able to spend such quality time together.
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These times are so special and so so short. Sutton is transforming right in front of us. We feel so grateful to be able to have these days, especially as it came from such a crap situation.
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What else should we do on our mini staycation?

02/08/2024

“If buying stuff hasn’t made you happy, maybe getting rid of it will.”
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So after our big Van Plan announcement yesterday, we have already received lots of support. We also said that we would share the steps we are taking to make this dream a reality.
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Perhaps one of the biggest things is that we currently live in a 4 bedroom house, that at some point has to condense down to 1 van 🙈 We don’t want this to be a last minute thing and so we are already planning this transition.
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I (Tash) have set us the task of removing a minimum of 1 item a day from the house each. In some instances this is throwing old out of date things away. But mostly it’s re-homing /re-selling/gifting.
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To support this, we have also become VERY conscious about what comes into the house (besides food).
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This means we could be approximately 490 items less when it comes to van time 😁
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Check out stories each day to see what we are removing and also if you are interested in re-homing it, you can send us a message 🥰
Want to join us in the 1-a-day challenge?

***rtravel ***rfamily

27/07/2024

“Are you coming on your period?”
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I (Marthe) get really annoyed when Tash asks this question. Begrudgingly I usually have to say yes…
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I get quite bad PMS about 7 days before my period, getting worse the closer I get to it. I try to fight it, but it only makes it worse. So now I try to flow with it, which is easier said than done.
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I have made a few changes: Mark the week before my period starts in the the calendar (also for Tash). Don’t plan in a million social activities during this week. Tash is not allowed to bring up any big triggering topics that can cause arguments. I do more yoga and eat more carbs and chocolate.
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It doesn’t solve the intense anger I can feel from time to time, but it does help soothe it a little. However, this time does help me to make decisions I couldn’t make before as I am more blunt and upfront. So I guess it serves it’s purpose sometimes.
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Any other tips for dealing with PMS?
***rfamily ***rjourney ***rtravel

23/07/2024

“How is she sleeping?”
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I think this is the most asked question when you have a baby/toddler. From parents, to non-parents and sometimes even strangers. For me (Marthe) it sometimes causes a bit of anxiety.
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The truth is, Tash has been co-sleeping with Sutton since October last year and I sleep in another room. It came out of necessity when I had to travel to Holland for an emergency. Tash had to do the nights alone and someone recommend co-sleeping.
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When I arrived back we didn’t feel like changing the situation straight away. Tash and Sutton were sleeping better and I could sleep the whole night through, (a mega luxury at the time). Since then we keep on saying we are going to “sleep train” next month, but there’s always a good excuse not to do it.
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In the Western world the goal is to get your baby sleeping through, in their own room as soon a possible. In other cultures co-sleeping and bed sharing is quite normal. Also most babies don’t sleep 8 hours through the night, so why do we keep on pushing for it?
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The reason I’m sharing is to be honest, to show our real situation. We are now actually consulting a sleep expert to discuss what the best way forward is, because I do want to sleep in my own bed again.
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We are not looking for opinions or advice here. Just maybe for some similar experiences. And maybe we should put less pressure on ourselves and others when it comes to sleeping. Everyone does it differently and (as long it’s safe), there is no right or wrong.
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***rfamily ***rjourney ***rtravel

18/07/2024

Question for you all ❓
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Tash and I are revamping Breaking the Distance. 5+ years ago we started BTD to share our long distance relationship and travel adventures.
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Since then it has grown and evolved. We share honestly about our relationship, share positive content about being q***r and stand up for LGBTQ+ rights.
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Now we want to ask you, why do you follow us? And what would you like to see more of? Also in our podcast too?
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All suggestions welcome. Thank you again for all the love and support, being here on the journey with us.
***rfamily ***rjourney ***rtravel

16/07/2024

“Let us reintroduce ourselves”
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For the people that started following us more recently, we are Tash (English) and Marthe (Dutch). We met in Jan 2019 in Bali (Pic 1). We started Breaking the Distance in April 2019 when we were long distance. The aim was to create something together, to share our experiences and stay more connected.
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We “broke the distance” in January 2020, when Marthe moved to London. In early 2021 we went travelling in Asia. Where Marthe proposed on our 1 year anniversary, in the same place we met; Bali (pic 2).
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The day we arrived back from travelling we went into lockdown. It was our first time living together. In a small apartment in London (pic 3). In the following months we also spent time living in Holland, so Marthe could work as a nurse.
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Covid-19 didn’t stop us from planning a wedding. On October 19th 2021 we got married in Devon, surrounded by our loved ones (pic 4). In the Summer of 2022 we got pregnant! And 7 weeks later we moved to Margate to start our family (pic 5).
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On May 15th 2023 our baby girl Sutton was born. (pic 6).
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So much has happened in the 5+ years since we met. We love sharing our story and creating positive awareness around being a q***r family. We try to share the ups and downs of life and our relationship homestly. We appreciate everyone who has been following our journey, sharing love, support and insights.
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We have another big plan coming up in 8+ months time. What do you think it is?
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Photo credit 5&6:
***rfamily # q***r

26/02/2024

“Travelling in the company of those we love is home in motion”
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Over the past month we have been in non stop motion. First travelling to Plymouth and then to Holland.
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Next week we will be going to Portugal!!! Our first real family holiday and Sutton’s first flight 😍
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Today we had a long conversation about our future travel plans. We always vowed to be a travelling family and next week feels like the start of that.
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We want Sutton to have the same passion for exploration as we do.
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Where should we go after Portugal?
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24/02/2024

New Podcast Episode!
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“The truth about pregnancy”
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This weeks episode is all about the 9 months, Tash spent growing Sutton 😂
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We are discussing what it’s like supporting your pregnant wife when you want to be pregnant yourself. Why we decided to use an independent midwife. As well as how to prepare for pregnancy as a non birthing parent.
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As always we want to hear your thoughts and please share your questions ☺️
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Link in bio!
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Photo:

23/02/2024

“Family is not an important thing, it’s everything”
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This past week we have been in Holland with Tash’s mum and my mum celebrating their birthdays. It was so fun for them to celebrate together as Grandma’s.
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Neither Tash or I live close to our family’s and we do miss that, especially since having Sutton. So when we get quality time like this, we really make the most of it.
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It’s always sad to say our goodbyes but also nice just to be us 3 again. Tomorrow we will travel back to Margate and then in 10 days we are going on our first family holiday …. to Portugal!
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We can’t wait travel again and explore a new destination. And for Sutton to get another stamp in her passport 😉
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What should we do in Portugal?

17/02/2024

“How we got pregnant”
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New Podcast episode is LIVE!
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This weeks podcast is sharing our journey to pregnancy. It’s one that many of you have been curious about. Since announcing I (Tash) was pregnant, we have received messages weekly asking about the process.
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Whilst this is a very personal story, we also recognise the lack of real-life resources out there. We also know that many people assume they know how it’s done.
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This week we hope to provide some answers whilst also sharing an alternative to the typical route.
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As always, we are curious to hear your thoughts, so please drop your questions below, or send us a DM.
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Link in bio or search Breaking the Distance Podcast 😊

📸

***rfamily ***rpregnancy ***ancouple ***anvisibilityweek

10/02/2024

“We are back!”
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It’s been a long time coming. We have been on a two year break, but it’s finally here! Breaking the Distance Podcast is back on the airwaves. 😃
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We wanted to kick of with a bit of a recap, of for those of you that have been with us for a while, it will be more of a trip down memory lane 🥰
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We have missed recording these so much. These episodes are like mini therapy sessions for us and a window into who we are beyond Instagram.
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We have so many episodes planned, but this doesn’t stop us from wanting your input.
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Once you’ve had a listen, let us know what else you want to hear 😊
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You can listen via the link in bio or search Breaking the Distance Podcast on Spotify or Apple ☺️
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Enjoy!

05/02/2024

“Baby, it’s time for change!”
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Eeeeeek everything is so exciting. Do you know that moment, when the Universe is shifting and everything is falling into place?
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More than 3 weeks ago I (Marthe) received some unexpected financial stress, tax + job related, in the space of 1 hour I got a massive tax bill + got declined for a job…. Financial stress is so s**t.
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When it rains it pours they say… It was necessary though to shift some of my negative patters when it comes to money and career. I could soon see I wasn’t meant to work 40hr a week for a big pharma company.
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After sharing my stress I received 2 opportunities to work with 2 different coaches. A career coach and fitness coach I’m so grateful for this and I feel like I’m back on track, thank you both. Now following my passion and my life’s purpose. I’m currently training to become a life coach! What do you think?
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Tash and I have been such a team lately. Her support is always there and we figure out the path we want to take together. Thank you baby, I’m so grateful for you.
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I want to say thank you to you all, for being with us on this journey and for your support, it means more than you think.
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***ans

01/02/2024

“Let’s Make History”
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤
February is LGBTQ+ History Month here in the UK. It’s a time to reflect on the journey so far.
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤
However we have to acknowledge that in the last 12 months it feels like we have gone backwards. So many hard fought rights have been taken away from us:

- Same-s*x mothers being removed from birth certificates (Italy)
- “Don’t say gay” law - (Florida)
- Homos*xuality is a criminal offence (Uganda)
- Full LGBT Censorship (Russia)
- Conversion Therapy remains legal (UK)

In the future how do we want to remember 2024? What’s the future we want for the next generation?

“History has its eyes on you”

***rrights ***rhistory

29/01/2024

“You are always one decision away from a totally different life”
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Last night whilst recording a podcast, we realised it was exactly 5 years since we met in Bali.
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I (Tash) always think of our meeting as a real ‘Sliding Doors’ moment. The stars had to align in such a magical way for a girl from The Netherlands to cross paths with a girl from the Uk on the other side of the planet.
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When we spoke about it later, it turns out Marthe wasn’t originally supposed to be staying at the resort where we met.
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She was also meant to be going on a trekking adventure after a week. But it got cancelled last minute so she extended her stay, giving us more time to connect.
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I often wonder what my life would look like if I had been a week earlier. Having not met Marthe. I like to believe the Universe would have brought us together somewhere else.
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Which do you believe in … chance or fate?

07/01/2024

“You are invincible”
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This is how I (Marthe) felt after my first ice bath. It was a bit of a different story for Tash, who burst out in tears 🙈
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But why an ice water bath? A few potential benefits of ice baths:
- Eases muscle pain and helps recovery
- Helps you sleep better and reduces fatigue
- Reduces inflammation
- Can help with depression & anxiety
- Trains your vagus nerve, reducing your bodies stress responses
- And it makes you feel incredible after (my opinion)
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You might have heard of Wim Hof aka the Dutch Iceman. He has set incredible records and has fought off viruses. All by doing a special breathing technique and taking ice baths.
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I (Marthe) was curious so I did a Fire & Ice retreat with and the amazing trainer . We did the ice bath at the end and I was hooked.
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Tash is now up to a minute, which is incredible because she has a major flight reaction when she enters the water. Proud of her!
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Of course you always have to practice this safely, so if you are interested, please check out the do’s and don’ts before trying it.

03/01/2024

“Happy Birthday Baby, happy birthday to you!!”
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It’s Tash’s birthday today! Tash is the absolute Birthday Queen/Birthday Monster, she is like a little kid!
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Today was her first birthday as a Mama, so Sutton and I made sure Tash was spoilt rotten. It started with a decorated house, a traditional epic brunch, presents and cards. Followed up by a visit to a wildlife park, where Sutton experienced the soft play for the first time, so cute! After we had drinks with some dear friends. It ended with a 3 course dinner at home, Italian style with apple crumble to finish.
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I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my wife. I’m so so proud of you. Watching you becoming a mum and rocking it as well, has been one of the biggest joys of my life.
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I’m so happy to be on this crazy ride with you. Last year had a lot of ups and downs, but we made it to the other side and have come stronger then ever. Love you with all my heart ♥️
#36

20/12/2023

“Santa Claus is coming to town”
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Today was another iconic moment. Getting to take our daughter to meet Santa for the first time (not that she will remember any of it) 😂
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Tomorrow is the real start of our Christmas holidays. We are heading to Plymouth to spend Christmas with my (Tash’s) parents.
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People always say that children make Christmas magical again. Even though Sutton is only 7 months old, she is definitely making this festive season special.
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Get ready for all the Christmas outfits 😂
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What’s your favourite part of Christmas?

26/11/2023

“Let’s talk about s*x baby (after a baby)”
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This is a topic that isn’t spoken about often. But unfortunately the rumours are true; there’s not a lot of s*x after a baby.
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I (Marthe) struggle with this from time to time, but it’s also a bit scary just how quickly you get used to it.
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The broken nights + a baby in the bed + feeling tired in the evening + Tash breastfeeding (aka no s*x drive) = no s*x.
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That being said, we do prioritise intimacy. We make sure we kiss and cuddle throughout the day and snuggle up in the evening. We give each other compliments and reassure each other this is not forever.
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Any thoughts on this subject? 😋
*x *x *xafterbaby

20/11/2023

“We have to stand together”
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Today is Trans Day of Remembrance. It’s such an important day to acknowledge what has happened and continues to happen to trans and non binary folx.
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The Facts:
“Transgender people are more likely to experience threats of physical or s*xual harassment or violence compared with the LGBT community as a whole” according to: National LGBT Survey, Government Equalities Office UK.
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According to Forbes: 320 trans and gender-diverse people have been killed in the last 12 months (worldwide). “The Trans Murder Monitoring report tracks murders reported in the media each year, this year’s report includes deaths between Oct 1 2022 and September 30 2023. The vast majority of those killed (94%) were trans women or trans-feminine people. Most were Black, and many were s*x workers too. 80% of those killed were of trans people affected by racism, an increase of 15% from last year”.
*this is only what’s been reported
🏳️‍⚧️
Let’s remember those lost for simply striving to be their authentic selves …. we have to do better.
🏳️‍⚧️

08/11/2023

Inters*x Day of Remembrance
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Today is Inters*x Day of Remembrance, also known as Inters*x Solidarity Day. It’s an internationally observed civil awareness day, to highlight issues faced by inters*x people.
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Today marks the birthday of Herculine Barbin, a French inters*x person whose memories were later published in a book.
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The day began on November 8, 2005. Organisation ‘Inters*x International’ invited other groups to show solidarity by honouring the life of Herculine Barbin. Also discussing the several issues that inters*x people face: like inters*x ge***al mutilation and the gender system.
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You might remember Inters*x Awareness Day on October 26th. Some countries mark both events and the days between as “14 days of inters*x”.
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Did you learn something new today? I did :)
*x *xpride *xawareness *xdayofremembrance
*xrights

04/11/2023

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”
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Today I (Marthe) ran 5k for Movember. I’ve been training for the last few months with the NHS app couch to 5k and it really paid off! I know 5k doesn’t sound like much but if you haven’t run that much before then 30+ minutes of running continuously is pretty tough!
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When I was younger (especially a teenager), I was never the sporty person. My friends were all amazing at sports and I just saw myself as the bigger girl who was not, so I gave myself that persona. I loved horse riding and that became my therapy.
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I’ve always been in relationships where my partners were physically way fitter than me (including Tash), so I held onto the belief of, “I’m not a sporty person.” I think that’s why I loved yoga so much; no competition and a chance to really embrace my body.
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I’ve always been active and love moving my body. After seeing multiple programs about CrossFit, I thought; I want that! So I started in March this year. I was not super committed at first because it took time to build some generaal fitness and Sutton arrived. Since the summer I’ve committed myself a 100%, no more excuses. So I do that, I run and do yoga.
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It’s sounds so cliche, but I’ve never felt better. I feel strong, alive, confident, I sleep better and I’m excited to get up early. I automatically started to eat better and drink low to no alcohol.
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I’m so proud of myself and today during that run for a small moment I wanted to stop, but I didn’t and that makes you feel so resilient. Tash is also super active and we love working out together, we want to give that example to Sutton too. Seeing them both at the finish line, waiting for me in the rain, was everything. I know this is just the start…
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***r ***rcouple ***rfamily

01/11/2023

“Happy World Vegan Day”
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Don’t worry we are not here to turn you vegan or maybe just a little 😉
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Tash has been vegan for almost 8 years and I (Marthe) for 4.5 years. It was one of the best decisions I made. My skin was terrible when I met Tash, I was even on heavy skin medication. When I tried veganism my skin completely cleared up and so I never looked back.
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There are still a lot of stereotypes around being vegan. However, it is definitely becoming more accepted. Sometimes I have felt telling people I’m vegan has been a bigger deal than coming out! Which is crazy.
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It’s weird when we tell people that we are vegan. All of the sudden they start defending themselves and why they are still eating meat and/or dairy. Even though we aren’t commenting. It’ also strange that all of the sudden people expect you to be ‘The Ultimate Climate Warrior’. They comment on the fact that we still fly … I think this is a moot point when they themselves still fly as well as eat meat/dairy.
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Yes we still fly, but way less then a few years ago. Yes we still drive a car, but take public transport whenever we can. Yes we still buy clothes, but mostly second hand. So no, we are not perfect, but we try to do better every day. Every little bit counts.
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Maybe one day we will all be eating less meat/dairy, allowing the meat and dairy industry to become more sustainable and local. But for us we will remain vegan because we don’t agree with how animals are treated and how animal farming impacts the world so negatively.
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One more thing: yes we do eat protein, don’t worry 😋
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Ever wondered what it’s like to be vegan? Try out it out for a week and let us know. There are so many yummie foodies and recipes out there.
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***r

28/10/2023

“Sutton the friendly ghost”
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Today we took Sutton to her first fancy dress party! And of course it as Halloween themed 😍
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The funny thing is we hadn’t planned to get her a costume at all. Then this morning we suddenly had the thought, this is Sutton’s first Halloween and the only time she will be this tiny and cute for it, how could we not get her a costume?
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So a quick trip to shops and we had ourselves a ghost! 😂 It was so worth it!
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What’s your Halloween costume this year?

27/10/2023

“It’s hard to be as*xual in a world where s*x is one of the most important things”
♠️💜
This week we have been celebrating As*xual Awareness Week, which celebrates the spectrum of as*xual identities. There is a lot of stigma around as*xuality and so it’s important to raise awareness.
💜♠️
There are many different identities within the as*xual spectrum. As*xual people also known as ACE, can have little to no interest in s*x, but can crave an intimate deep connection with someone. It can also mean having moments of s*xual desires. There can also be a romantic connection but not necessarily any s*xual desire, however, this too can shift from time to time. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
♠️💜
In a world where s*x is at the forefront, we often forget love doesn’t equal s*x. We as a couple are still learning this. Within the Q***r community it’s so important that we include everyone.
💜♠️
Amazing accounts to follow:
- she has an amazing dictionary about as*xuality
- breaking the stigma around as*xuality
♠️💜
*xual *xualweek ***r *xuality

26/10/2023

“Inters*x people exist”
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Today is Inters*x Awareness Day. Do you know what it means to be inters*x? Being inters*x means that a person is born with s*x characteristics that don’t necessarily fit into the gender-binary: male or female. These traits can include: chromosomes, hormones and anatomy.
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Being inters*x is natural. Did you know that approx. 1.7% people in the world are inters*x? Comparable to people born with red hair.
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The problem is that in society we live by binary terms, everything is always male or female. This has a damaging impact and inters*x people may often end up undergoing invasive surgeries from a young age. These can result in trauma, infertility and life long physical pain. They may have be forced to live by a gender that they don’t identify with and may face discrimination for not living by societal gender “norms”.
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This is why visibility, education and awareness is so important.
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Some amazing accounts to follow:
- Anick (we did a podcast with them a few years back, super informative - link in stories)
- Blume
- *xjusticeproject
-
💛💜
*x *xpride *xrights
*xpeopleexist ***r

23/10/2023

We have decided to stop posting about Israel and Palestine, because we were unintentionally offending and hurting people.

As a couple we always try to learn, but our lack of understanding of the history of this situation is unhelpful at this time.

We are not ignoring anything that’s happening. We are taking action both individually and as a family in a way that feels right to us.

We welcome information from reliable sources to aid our understanding.

Right now our hearts, prayers and love go to all those who have lost. The pain of grief is like no other. 🇮🇱🇵🇸

20/10/2023

“Years from now, perhaps we can lose the equality part, the same-s*x part and call it what it is … marriage”
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Exactly 2 years ago today we made our union legal. Yes, we had two weddings, lol.
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For many people the idea of marriage is outdated and only seen as a reinforcement of the patriarchy. However, for us it is a right that thousands have fought for. It is a right that countless more still do not have.
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Whilst both of us have always wanted to get married. We also recognised the honour and privilege of our ability to do so. We chose to for the millions who still can’t, as a mark of respect and a sign of hope.
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Same-s*x marriage is only fully legal in 35 countries and still illegal in 72!!!

***r ***rlove ***rlove

19/10/2023

“All love stories are great, but our love story us my favourite”
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Happy 2 year anniversary wifey! Can you believe it? We have been married for 2 years and have been together for 4.5 years.
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When I (Marthe) look back I think it’s mad how we made our wedding happen. 3 years ago we decided to start planning our wedding with not a penny saved, in the middle of a pandemic. My dad said, “Just do it and you will make it happen.” And we did!
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In one year we managed to save 20K+ and paid everything off before the wedding and we even managed to go on a honeymoon to Mexico. (Still not entirely sure how 🤔)
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It was honestly (before Sutton was born) the best day of my life. It was filled with so much joy and we were surrounded by the people we love.
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Without knowing each others vows, we said the exact same thing, “You are my home.” This is how I still feel, living in the UK, away from my own family and friends.
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I don’t regret one moment. We have gone through so much in the past 4.5 years. Fallen in love in Bali, been long distance, moved country, travelled, survived a pandemic whilst sometimes living apart, planned a wedding during covid, got married, moved to Margate, got pregnant and had a baby!
💚💙
So much more is in store for us and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are the love of my life and I will always fight for us, even in the hard times … We can face it all!

Photos:

Venue:
Dresses:
Celebrant:
Decor:
Flowers:
Food:
Cake:
Ted’s Outfit:

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