Beer Belly Shoot Out

13/04/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿Mental Game Preparation Edition
4/13/2020

1) This house is getting smaller and smaller! My taxes should go down.
2) Ellie? Are you there? Are you safe?
3) I gotta get my orange whip regripped.
4) My burn rate is up.
5) Good time to work on your mental game.
6) I shaved today. It was probably a waste of time, blades and shaving cream but the itch is gone.
7) Anybody got any extra toilet tissue?
😎 Putter alignment? It’s a good time to do it. It’s gets a little old watching you guys miss those 3 footers.
9) I’m still enjoying those struts!
10) I feel like a hot spot 🥵. . I really would like to ride that bending curve downhill. If not I’ll read a book 📚and place a bet on the Derby this Fall.
11) Tiger won the Masters again on the replay. No surprise to anybody.
12) Your daily golf tip: 🏌️‍♀️ Take your clubs outta your trunk and put them in the garage.
13) I gotta go get my clubs outta the trunk.

06/04/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Wash Your Hands Edition
04/06/2020

1) Ok. If this is a joke you got me. Let’s get back to golf. ⛳️
2) My hands have never been cleaner.
3) I might even get in my pool 🏊 this year?
4) I’m trying to bend the curve. I’m trying really hard. The curve has to bend if we are going to have a BB on time.
5) I’m gonna shave this week.
6) I just watched last years Valero Texas Open. Turned out the same. Next week we will be watching Tiger win the Masters last year.
7) I gotta go wash 🧼 my hands.

02/04/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Kentucky Wins Edition
04/02/2020

1) I have enough bourbon 🥃 to get me thru this nightmare if it doesn’t last more than six months. 🧻 is another issue however.
2) I have completely socially distanced from golf. I only have my orange whip.
3) Well, well they played the National Championship game Monday night. Kentucky vs Duke. Well CBS got the game they wanted- 2 BlueBloods. Cal vs Coach K. Well sorry CBS you got the game you wanted but it was not a buzzer be**er. Kentucky runs away with 3 point shooting. Quickly scored 37 points with 10 three pointers. Kentucky wins 92-57 and Coach K said it was the worst defeat in his career. Ky wins their 9th Championship. Take that Latterner.
4) I gotta go find some tee shirts 👕.

30/03/2020

29/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Things You Miss Edition
03/29/2020

1) I miss NASCAR 🚘 Vroom.
2) I miss golf 🏌️‍♀️.
3) I miss the Big Dance 🏀
4) I miss the drafts.
5) I miss the bars 🍹.
6) I miss the restaurants 🥘.
7) I miss the Derby 🐎.
😎 I miss the Olympics 🏅.
9) I miss the Masters ⛳️.
10) My wife enjoys the social distancing from me.
11) I won’t miss baseball ⚾️.
12) I will miss the BeerBelly 🍺.
13) I will miss the World Am 🌎.
14) I miss having enough toilet tissue 🚽.
15) Other than that life is Good.
16) Boom Shaka Laka 💥.
17) My mind is wandering today.
18) Just In: the semifinals in college basketball were played yesterday. Duke goes to the finals Monday night as they narrowly escape a scrappy Auburn team with a lay up as time ran out. Unfortunately Auburn Head Coach Bruce Pearl finally succumbed to heart problems and died as he saw that Duke layup roll into the rim. Funeral ⚰️ plans are as of yet incomplete.
Kentucky will join Duke in the final game Monday night. Kentucky stifled Kansas with a stuffy man on man defense. Kansas was unable to break the tightness of that defense. Every third or fourth play Kentucky would shift to a wide 3-2 zone and the Jayhawks could not adjust quickly enough. Final score- Kentucky 80 Kansas 57. Stay tuned Monday night to see if Kentucky can extract revenge for that Christian Latterner lucky shot years ago. Maybe this time we can get a fair call.
19) I gotta go look for toilet paper 🧻 again.

27/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 One Size Fits All Edition
03/27/2020

1) You know sometimes those one size fits all (6-12) socks don’t really fit a size 12 foot 🦶! I imagine that guy with a size 6 foot probably agrees with me. This, however, means nothing to the average person out there that’s dealing with the Coronavirus. Sorry I mentioned it. It won’t happen again- I will just continue to cut a hole in each sock so my big toe can stick out.
2) Your daily golf tip: 🏌️‍♀️ Put some
oil on your clubheads until the courses reopen.
3) My new struts are working perfectly. So is my new water 💧 pump. If I could just get my bowels working?
4) Does Bourbon 🥃 kill Coronavirus? What about a double?
5) That bourbon does make social distancing easier.
6) I bet Tiger is practicing everyday.
7) Broward County has closed all golf courses ⛳️. The end is near.
😎 Florida has closed all their State Parks. No more camping ⛺️.
9) Coronavirus is NOT spread through these UPDATES. Continue to read without fear.
10) I now have a sufficient supply of toilet tissue.
11) Did you guys watch that virtual Homestead race? Vroom. What a race that was.
12) The 2020 BeerBelly Shootout is still schedule to tee off on time. Bring you face mask, hand sanitizer and toilet tissue. Oh, and yes, don’t forget your Boudreaux’s Butt Paste.
13) I can’t recommend a drug that hasn’t been approved for Corona but if you’re feeling bad don’t forget Hydroxy Chloraclene. A few drops in your bourbon 🥃 and you will feel different. Good night. 💤
14) I started taking a double dose of that Prevegan stuff.
15) We need to surge.
16) I gotta go look for Butt Paste.

23/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Bend the Curve Edition
03/23/2020

1) Only pay for what you need!
2) Wawa
3) I’m expecting a bailout from the government. Period. They have my address.
4) The sound of the drums only mean we are all gonna die. Drink up. 🥃 play some golf 🏌️‍♀️-it may be your last round. Call your kids- kiss 💋 your wife. Straighten up your bedroom. Eat a lot of ice cream- it won’t matter! The BB lasted 28 years. Watch some replays of Kentucky Basketball.
5) I’m bending the curve. It would be nice if you guys would put a little effort into this massive community initiative to bend this curve. Someone should tell Phil it is time for him to stay home a little more. The ladies in Southport can live a few days without him? Rick could start listening to his elders more and stay outta those sleazy bars he tends to frequent. I don’t know what Ellie is doing up there In Pennsylvania but I do know his state run liquor stores are closed. No bourbon 🥃 for you big boy.
6) I think 🤔 the odds of the Cats winning it all were about 92-93%. We will never know. It’s a virtual championship! Who your daddy?
7) My brother is back!
😎 There are golf courses closing!! !!WTF.
9) Remember when we called Social Distancing “staying away from people”.
10) We need a filibuster in the BB.
11) I gotta go see if I can find a course that is open? ⛳️

19/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Corona 🦠 Edition
03/19/2020

1) It’s deep and dark here in the outback. But I persist. This is about as socially seperated as I’ve been in modern times. I’m deep in the Redneck Rive-aria. For safety I did put a MAGA bumper sticker on my car.
2) I’m trying to flatten that curve. You should be trying to flatten the curve. Everybody should flatten the curve. If you do you will get better gas mileage.
3) On Tuesday I played golf with a guy that played for the Chicago Bulls and a guy that played on the PGA Tour in the 70’s. Boy were they impressed with my game.
4) This is a good place to do social distancing. Covid 19 would be scared of these people around here. I’m scared of these people! 🦠
5) Lockdown
6) When I grew up in a Southern Baptist home, social distancing was mandatory when it came to girls. Dad was the ENFORCER!
7) I would advise you to stock up on liquor now. Don’t be caught without alcohol when they close for good.
😎 I’m so far away from a Wawa it’s seems as if they don’t exist.
9) I’m leaving the outback tomorrow morning and going back into Corona 🦠 infested Broward County. Pray for me.
10) I gotta go find some toilet 🚽 tissue.

16/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 You’re Gonna Die Edition
03/15/2020

1) I’m still social distancing. I have no symptoms other than a little cough and a little fever but I think I got that when they canceled March Madness.
2) I’m trying my best to stock up on toilet tissue. I don’t know why but it must be important. Everybody has sold out! I’m even willing to accept the brands that aren’t as soft if I could get it. My stockpile is at alarmingly low levels. I may need to reach out to friends? Standby.
3) It just dawned on me that all of you guys are in the old age group that is vulnerable to Corona Virus 🦠. Stay home and wash your hands. Stock up on toilet tissue before it’s too late. Watch your news source 24 hours a day. 😱 I would like to see all of you survive this pandemic. I don’t want to have to recruit a new member to the BB.
4) I’m trying to flatten the curve.
5) Just think how you would feel if you were a Kentucky Basketball Player and you know your chances of winning it all were excellent. No Sweet 16, no Elite 8, no Final Four and no National Championship 🏆. Kentucky has enough of them but one more would have been nice.
6) Maybe you should consider using fewer pieces of toilet tissue? If so maybe you should consider stocking up on hand sanitizer?
7) I miss Scaramucci!
😎 I’m enroute to ⛺️ in the panhandle. It’s pretty isolated so I’m not too scared of Corona but I may be out of cell coverage. If so Phil, as usual, will ensure you receive the most updated information on all world events and the latest golf news via the BB Update: 🏌🏿.
9) So stay safe, wash your hands with 🧼, search for as much toilet tissue as you can find, hoard can goods, tell your wife you love her and remember don’t drink Corona beer 🍺.
10) I gotta go wash 🧽 my hands and find a bar to celebrate St Patrick’s Day.

13/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 The Big Dance Eulogy Edition
03/13/2020

1) I am perfecting social distancing! Now it’s not just family.
2) Can you believe the Big Dance without the Big Blue Nation? They’ve taken our 6th man away.
3) Tiger is resting this week. He’s probably just hanging out at Wawa.
4) What? No March Madness! This is crazy. Kentucky was ready to win it all without a doubt. This is not right. My calendar has just been freed up!
5) Should we release a press statement on the status of the BB?
6) No baseball ⚾️- Ok well I can live with that! No more spitting. Don’t buy Redman stock.
7) OMG- Now the Masters has been postponed!!!!! What are they trying to do to us? Baseball and hockey I can live with but the Big Dance and the Masters? Excuse me a minute- I’m going out and scream 😱.
8)— 😱 😱 😱
9) I’m back and I feel better.
10) BB News Alert: The Committee has met and the 2020 BeerBelly Shootout will go on as scheduled. Social Distancing will be implemented and everyone will have a separate cart. There will be a minimum of 6 feet seperation on the deck. Everyone will be required to sanitize their balls every 3 holes. No more tossing the ball back to your opponent. We will drive separate cars to dinner. (Rick you can get Uber). No Corona beer allowed in BB Headquarters. This situation is fluid and may change. Check with the BB UPDATE for any changes.
12) My shopping list: duct tape, plastic and toilet tissue. (64 rolls)
11) I gotta go try to get a refund on my Final Four tickets 🎫.

11/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 TASTYKAKE Edition
03/11/2020

1) Finally got rid of my company.
2) Wawa sells all TastyKake products. Don’t get carried away and buy too many. Wawa is not that far away. But if you’re going camping ⛺️ I would suggest you stock up pretty heavily. They’re great for breakfast, a lunch snack and dessert after dinner. Add one for good measure so multiply number of days camping by 4. It’s easy.
3) The Cats have the player of the year in the SEC and the coach of the year. I feel your pain Auburn.
4) Anybody going to March Madness?
5) Anybody going to the Masters?
6) I’m still practing spatial separation.
6a) Ci**rs for Wounded Warriors. Spread some happiness. Go to Ci**rsforwarriors.com. Donate.
7) I gotta go to Wawa and get my TastyKakes for next weeks camping ⛺️ trip.

10/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 BigBlueNation Edition
03/10/2020

1) Wawa
2) Played with the Rickster Thursday and Friday. Boom Shaka lakh. Still 270 off the tee. He da man.
3) You know how you feel when you have new struts- front and back? whoops she bopa.
4) Bout them Wildcats?
5) CBD-THC- Anybody have any info? How do you start your own farm?
6) I am practicing social distancing.
7) Question of the day: Should you wear a mask 😷 on your face?
Answer: No one knows. 50% say yes 50% say no. The fake news has completely taken over. Thanks Obama.
😎 I refuse to go into a discussion about the Kentucky- Florida game. Let’s just say an 18 point lead was not enough for Florida. Boom Shaka Laka. I believe that was the home court for the Gators 🐊. Comeback of the year! Never say die Cats. One more notch please to end the regular season. Now let’s go to Nashville and win the conference again. Then we will take that 2 seed in the Big Dance. Put us in the bracket with Duke.
9) Waawaa.
10) I gotta go see if I can get tickets 🎫 for Nashville.

01/03/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Pandemic Edition
03/01/2020

1) Sometimes I just need some good CBD.
That would help me deal with this pandemic!
2) I don’t think we should cancel the BB yet? Just bring plenty of mask 😷. Our first Corona free BB.
3) If we have to cancel does that mean I’m still the Champ 🏆? Does that mean I twopeated? Does that mean I get 2 Champs Dinner’s.
4) I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
5) I would like to have a firewall.
6) Would it help if we went out in the street and screamed? I may go underground!
7) So Auburn came to town Saturday afternoon. The War Eagles 🦅. The Tigers 🐅. Maybe you guys should stick to one mascot? You’ve had a good year and you’ll be in the Big Dance 💃 but why did you think you could beat the Cats in Lexington? You’ve haven’t done that since 1988. So put the War Eagle back in its cage, and get on back to Bama.
Oh by the way that little spanking we put on you also clinched us another SEC Conference Championship. That would be #49. So someone please put up another notch! Thank you.
😎 I have way too many flyers.
9) I gotta go to Walgreens and see if they have a new shipment of masks.

27/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Quest for 54 Edition
02/27/2020

1) Ok we gotta go on the road again. Have you ever been to College Station, Texas? First of all it is close to Houston which is petri dish of US cities when it comes to petroleum and other dangerous chemicals. It is the refinery capital of the world. Plus College Station is in Texas- nuff said. So get in, shutem down and get outta town. This one will help us get a 2 seed. Somebody please put another notch up there.
Texas A& M good luck next year and get your coach some Xanax.
Double Bonus- Duke went down Tuesday night. Stick with lacrosse.
2) Bogey is still the new par!
3) We’re looking for a 2 seed.
4) My goal is to shoot 54. I just need 10 more yards off the tee. If I ever shoot 54 I will celebrate at Wawa with a Nutty Buddy.
5) In addition to wearing masks at the BB I think we should not buy any Corona beer this year. Ellie I know you like Corona but you’ll just have to take one for the team. Stick with the IPA’s. So far the virus 🦠 has not affected the bourbon 🥃 industry. Coors Light is basically water so it won’t be affected.
6) I would like to have a brokered convention. Putem all in a ring and give everybody a set of brass knuckles.
7) Ellie and Phil are still playing those BB venues over and over. Give it a break guys.
😎 I want to be a Czar. I always thought it would be fun. Maybe the Coronavirus Czar.
9) I gotta go see if I have a Czar uniform 🥋

25/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Super Tuesday Edition
02/25/2020

1) Nothing left to say about that Kentucky- Florida game. I summed it up in the last UPDATE. Just put another notch up there please.
2) Bogey is the new par.
3) Coronavirus masks will be mandatory at the 2020 BeerBelly Shootout. That includes litation on the deck. The mask will not affect your swings. It may even help some of those god awful swings you guys have.
4) Are you excited about SUPER Tuesday next week. It’s also Taco 🌮 Tuesday. All you can eat tacos. What a country?
5) Speaking of food, Rick you’re gonna have to start thinking about the Champs Dinner. You know where, when? Oh excuse me- sorry Rick you win so much I just forgot. Never mind, I’ll get on it.
6) Guys nacho fries 🍟 are back but they won’t be here forever! Do the right thing.
7) Tonight is “notch nite” against Texas A&M. Be there. 7:00 tip-ESPN.
😎 I gotta go get some of those Nacho Fried.

22/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Pop Smoke Edition
02/22/2020 (WTF- all twos and zeros)

1) I’d like to meet Big Lou?
2) RIP Pop Smoke? We are losing our Rappers way to fast. My Pop Smoke albums will now be collectors pieces.
3) I’m spending way too much time on the range.
4) MiniMike.
5) Wawa
6) Today the Cats take on Florida? Gator bait 🐊. We gettem in Lexington today and finish the season with them in the swamp.
The Big Dance 💃 is slipping up on us.
7) Would you rather give up golf the rest of your life or never be allowed to go to Wawa the rest of your life? (No tasty-cakes 🍰. )
😎 What happened to Pokémon?
9) I’ve always wanted to be a provocateur? Just like Roger Stone.
10) Have you met any Russian Bots? Do they live in Russia? Do they have families? Do they ever go to Wawa?
11) I gotta go look for Pokémon 👀.

19/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Daytona Edition
02/19/2020

1) Daytona baby. What a race. Vroom. Vroom. Heros. Vroom. OMG WHAT A RACE. America’s Great Race. Vroom. 🏎 🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎
🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🏎🚗🏎🏎🏎
Vroom. Love that Kevin Harvick and that number 7.
What a way to start the season! Vroom.
2) Bout that Tiger?
3) Bout that Adam?
4) Have you ever slept in a yurt? Join me in March- Torreya State Park. Northwest Florida! Bring your own sheets.
5) Wow- I’m having problems getting that race outta my mind. Vroom.
6) This seems to be rambling? I’m on it. I need to get to Pandora and play some Enya.
7) Now that’s better! Don’t you think?
😎 Bout that number 11. Vroom!
9) MiniMike!
10) Ellie and Phil are still playing all the BB venues? You guys want it bad. You still have time to completely retool your swings.
11) LSU: Ok so we gotta go to Batooon Rouge. The Bayou Bengals are unbeatable there- they say. Put on your protective suits when you get off the plane ✈️. A stench exist as soon as you deplane. It’s like a big plume that covers the entire city. So the game plan: Beat the s**t out of them-get back on the plane and get back to Lexington and hope you didn’t contract the Corona Virus 🦠.
Results: Game plan accomplished sir. Please put another notch up on that bedpost please. Who your Daddy?
12) I gotta go buy some NASCAR T-SHIRTs.

16/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Racing Edition
02/16/2020

1) We went out for dinner last night and I had baked rutabaga 🌰with a cream sherry sauce infused with hints of oregano 🌿 and French truffles. Served with braised baby asparagus and grilled carrots in a mojito sauce. It was delicious!
2) You only have 92 days to practice for the BB. Something tell me you guys aren’t putting in much work? As they say if you expect different results you can’t keep repeating what you’re doing? So get off your fat asses and get to the range. I just got back. I do believe those rutabaga’s I had last night helped my putting. Have you ever made 10 out of 10 from 10 feet?
3) Don’t forget that February 25 is National Pancake Day. Get your free stack 🥞 at IHOP and enter your chance for Pancakes for Life! What would you do if you had pancakes 🥞 for life? Would you go everyday or just 2 or 3 times per week? Life is Good. (Would you ever go more than once in a day? You know like that breakfast for dinner thing)
4) Everyday is all we have.
5) Calm down- I’ll let you know the opening day at Wawa in Coral Springs. Relax. Bring the kids.
6) Bout that Avenatti?
7) Did I mention not to ever let your house get flooded underneath the slab?
😎 I find myself humming Billie Eilish songs.
9) What a weekend for racing! Vroom! You got NASCAR Xfinity Series, 🏎 NASCAR Monster Energy Series, Formula E and Monster Energy SuperCross! You can’t watch them all and still get your Basketball 🏀 fix in. Life is Good. Vroom Vroom. 🏎🏆🎖🏎⛽️🏎.
10) Ole Miss, Ole Miss you know you don’t win at Rupp. Get on that plane and get back to the swamp in Mississippi. Wait till you get home to shower.
Have you ever been to Oxford, Mississippi? Don’t go man - don’t go. It’s the insertion spot for a good e***a.
Somebody put another notch on that bedpost. 🛌
11) Nacho fries 🍟 are back. Get to the 🔔.
12) I gotta run out to Taco Bell 🔔.

12/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 New Hampshire Edition

1) Super Tuesday- no not politics but basketball. So the Cats go south to Music City last night to give those Vandy Commodores one more shot at glory this year. We will also spot them 9 points at the half. Then let’s beat them by 14. That Memorial Coliseum is still the worst place to play ball in the US. Nobody should have to play there. So sharpen that knife and put one more notch on the headboard. THE BIG DANCE IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!
2) Hope you guys went out and got some rutabagas. Your health will improve and just maybe your golf game will improve? Maybe you can be competitive this year and beat the old man. If not your spouses should not let you come home and she will cut off all benefits.
3) New Hampshire! Damn what about that Amy? Is Bernie the angriest old white man you’ve ever seen?
Joe please get out man. Don’t embarrass yourself anymore? There is life after retirement. Get on meds man.
Tulsi please don’t get out!
Bout that mayor?
4) Well Phil and Ellie have been practicing on BB venues. My advice to these guys is eat more rutabaga.
You guys need to be working on those god awful looking swings. Phil you need to work on compression, release, and conditioning. Have your grooves reground. Ellie work on your hip turn, select a different ball, and relaxation. Check the lie and loft on that C3Pi wedge. Bring plenty of gum. (Oh by the way Phil work on your breathing- sometimes it looks like you’re sleeping. Don’t forget the large oatmeal creme pies)
5) Joe please get out. Please? I don’t want to remember you this way.
6) I gotta go join Tulsi’s campaign.

11/02/2020

BB UPDATE: Cuban Sandwiches Edition
02/11/2020

1) Golf courses are unfair to amateurs.
2) I am, however, going to remain an amateur so I will not accept pay for playing. That’s my decision and I’m going to stick with it.
2) Anybody going to New Hampshire for the primary. I’m gonna sit this one out.
3) Wawa
4) I sorta look forward to some stories from Rick at the BB. I’ve got a feeling he has some new stuff to share? We will see.
5) Sometimes when I look at a picture I wonder who took it?
6) Have you ever spent any quality time thinking about the benefits of eating more rutabaga. Not the frozen stuff but fresh rutabaga. Look for it the next time you’re in your local Publix.
7) I don’t have a 7 today so I’m just gonna skip it. I’ve learned that if it’s not there, just move on. Don’t try to make it up. Your readers will catch it if you try to fake it!
😎 Guys don’t forget your Cuban Sandwiches. It’s a good time of the year for Cubans. I know it’s been awhile for you guys up north. But I’m sure Rick has 2 or 3 a week living in this Latin environment down here in South Florida or as they call it “North Cuba”. Don’t buy them at your local grocery- make your own and remember the key is the fresh bread 🍞. Make sure you get the right pickles. Make yourself a Mojito or two and enjoy the evening. (A few little Latin ladies could add some enhancement)
9) I gotta go to Wawa and see if they have Cuban Sandwiches 🥪.

09/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Wawa Edition
02/08/2020

1) February 25th is National Pancake Day. Get to IHOP and get your free stack. If you can’t find the free ones go somewhere and have some pancakes 🥞. They’re a great American institution. Do your part. Get the all you can eat deal. Make Aunt Jemima proud of you. A little whipped cream on there would work. Put some of that Butter Pecan syrup on there. Don’t be a sissy and get blueberry.
2) Boy don’t you just know how happy Patrick Mahones was to go to Disneyworld the day after the SuperBowl? What a lucky 🍀 guy he is!
3) No more football for awhile. I guess we got the Players coming up? And then the Masters and then the BB.
4) I do not have a vote on impeachment.
5) I need to go to more prayer breakfasts.
6) Wawa
7) Wawa News: new store opening soon in Coral Springs. Bring the kids and get them a Nutty Buddy.
😎 Ibrance- side effects may include lung disease, loose stool, heart break of psoriasis, back problems, leaky bladder, sweaty balls, baldness, underarm degeneration, bad breath, and sweaty toes. Please follow instructions.
9) I dropped by the pet store recently to buy an Emu but they didn’t have any?
10) Saturday afternoon in Knoxville. The Cats go into hostile territory in a sold out arena. Sorry Volunteers- how many times have I told you to get rid of those orange outfits. Yea I know they use to work in football 🏈 but that was 30 years ago. In basketball I know you had a decent year last year but those players are gone. You need to work on your recruiting. Bye, bye- we’re off to Lexington. Put another notch on the bedpost 🛌.
11) I gotta go look for an Emu- Maybe them have them at Wawa.

04/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Shakira Edition
02/04/2020

1) I haven’t heard a word from Shakira?
2) I’ve been trying to dance 💃 like those commercials. My knees need a little more work.
3) After flying to and from Norfolk I suddenly remembered why I retired? Yes little things like getting in late, it’s raining and you drive away from the car rental 🚘 and discover your windshield has an 18 inch crack in it? Then back in, up 2 floors and then try to convince the agent (Who looked to be at least 15) that you really didn’t crack it. I could go on.
4) Bout them Chiefs. Does the tomahawk chop belong to them or Florida State? State does it better!
5) Back to that rental 🚘: did you know some cars do not have a gear shift on the dash, console or steering wheel. Yep they have buttons - not push buttons but pull buttons. Try to figure that out when it’s dark and raining ☔️? You can find those wipers if you try and it’s not raining too hard. I did like the color!
6) Although the SuperBowl was nice I’m still really excited about that ProBowl. That was spine tingling, edge of seat excitement. Boom Shaka Laka.
7) BB2020 is just around the corner. Can’t wait to us my granite counter tops in my bathroom 🚽at BB Headquarters . I’m working on my approach shots now.
😎 I feel fortunate to have lived during a palindrome. I was thinking Sarah might be it.
9) Somebody tell Phil a 68 year old man should not be skiing ⛷.
10) Back to that rental car 🚘 one more time. What is it about these car that the engine shuts off every time you stop. WTF is that all about?????? Please tell me that makes no sense? Is there a way to override that? Is it supposed to save gas ⛽️? What about the poor starter? I did like the color though.
10a) Your daily golf tip: 🏌️‍♀️ don’t play golf in Williamsburg during late January- early February.
11) I gotta go check and see when the next palindrome is?

03/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Post SB analysis Edition
02/03/2020

1) Bout that SuperBowl?
2) Ok I know I’m not on the cutting edge but some of those commercials makes me want to rewind? Is it just me. I know you guys were lost too. I mean we had a lot of combos going on!
3) Ok tell me how Jennifer Lopez made those costume changes so quickly? Maybe that groundhog helped her. I like Shakira. Is Lopez 50 yet?
4) Those Doritos keep coming. I need a Nintendo.
5) I’ve been to too many after parties. They’re killing me!
6) I wonder if Shakira likes older men?
7) I think I’m eligible for a cash reward.
😎 I am not voting in Iowa today.
9) I enjoyed the palindrome yesterday. I can’t wait to watch the next one.
10) I gotta go listen for the explanation of those commercials.

02/02/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Virginia Edition
02/02/2020

1) 800-411-5116.
2) It’s time to place your bets. If you want my expert advice the fee is 10% of your earnings. Remember I have a 95.1% rate of picking your winners. If you want to bet on the spread the fee is 20% and my success rate is 92.45%. Please place your bets by 3pm Sunday.
3) I need some more of that Prevagan. First dose didn’t work.
4) Phil is in California skiing ⛷ and all sorts of other good things. I will be watching the game in Virginia. Ellie will be in Ocean Isle Beach 🏖. Who the hell knows where Rick will be watching the game? 🏟
5) There is no direct evidence.
6) Ready for those commercials Sunday? Don’t lie- you can’t wait. I want to see the Coca-Cola 🥤 snowman ☃️ and polar bears.
I wish Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies would do a commercial?
7) Wow. It’s not warm in Virginia! Why would anybody live here? A lot of people do- they’re everywhere. I don’t get it? There are no leaves 🍁 here.
😎 Is your shower head 🚿 adjustable?
9) I gotta go place my bets and enjoy the game with a box of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies.

30/01/2020

BB UPDATE: 🏌🏿 Get off the Popes back Edition
01/30/2020

1) How’s that Catholic Church doing with dealing with their “priest” problem? The Pope is on it! Just give him some time. Get back in those pews and drop a little extra in the plate today. That’s right- god will bless you and you will lead a meaningful life of abundance and clarity.
2) Anybody going to try to improve your retirement account with the game this weekend?
3) Are you hearing impeachment in your sleep yet? If the glove don’t fit you can’t impeach.
4) I miss OJ.
5) Kobe or Lebron? Or Michael?
6) Ok Vandy came to town last night. Vandy- give me a break. We should not have to play these teams? Just record it as a 20 point win and save on the laundry bill. But those Commodores wanted to come to Lexington and play in the big house. (Can’t really blame them if you’ve ever seen their arena. There are no court side seats and the benches are behind the basket and the floor is elevated)
Ok you asked for it so we kick your butt, now you have to go back to Nashville and do your laundry. Hey Commodores you haven’t won in Lexington for over 10 years so why did you do it to yourself. Get outta basketball, start wearing panties and start a Lacrosse team.
7) I can’t wait for the new SB commercials? Can’t wait to see what Tostitos do.
😎 Let’s take BB20 to Wuhan and help bring that city back?
9) I gotta go study Auburn for Saturday nite. Talk to you guys from Williamsburg.