25/01/2016
PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES
How much is our personality innate and how much is formed by the conditioning we receive by the significant people in our life like parents, teachers, friends etc. In my practice I often have children as young as 5 referred to me to address "defiant behaviour, focus and concentration issues and supposedly learning difficulties". In most of these cases I find that these kids are normal kids who are just either creative or suffer from anxiety and misunderstood as being defiant, difficult children with learning difficulties. The common patterns of behaviour and traits in creative children can include; dis organisational skills except for important the things, messy and untidy, easily distracted by more interesting things at the time, dress practically, pay and notice attention to detail, visual demonstrative learners, tend to zone out (the kid that gets in trouble for staring out the window), difficult to motivate, leave assignments to the last minute, doesn't always follow instructions, asks a lot of inquisitive questions, prefers to watch movies than read, very deep, prefers close small number of friends, more mature than their peers, tend to put more effort in their work for teachers they like, love to eat especially when they are bored or unhappy, listen to alternative music to the majority of their peers, mostly motivated by consequence or passion rather than reward, live in the moment, non-materialistic and don't like small talk, to mention a few. Creative Children brought up by structured parents can end up later in life with a confused identity and anxiety usually because they fear rejection from others. Many of these children grow up ostracised by their peers for being different. They are often misunderstood. They can grow up feeling uncomfortable in life because they feel like they can't fit in to society's expectation of them. They are often not understood by others as to why they don't want a career, or work towards an OP 1 when they are capable, why they spend hours gaming instead of getting out and about, why they are not motivated or get over things quickly. The problem is, that they don't have a problem but society does. It's not about fitting into society and life, it's about life fitting your personality. Happiness is about finding your own identity and the things in life that suit your identity. Surrounding yourself with similar people who understand you and who don't try to change you, and doing what you are passionate about, and living life the way you are designed to is healthier than going against your grain and feeling out of place. People and society need to accept that there is not just one mould that everyone has to fit in. So if your child is struggling with his/her school work maybe they're just a visual learner who understands better when something is taught in a demonstrative way and not just verbally. So the teaching style needs to change and trialled before making an assumption that the child may have a learning problem. Creative children are very intelligent and need constant stimulation that sometimes they feel they can't get from school - hence the attraction to gaming especially strategic computer gaming.