Broken Pot Counselling

08/10/2023

23/08/2022

"Before I begin, this post is not seeking sympathy. It is merely trying to shed a little light on the total weirdness and unpredictability of grief. Those who have experienced deep loss already know. But for those who have not: I washed the orange cup today. 'The orange cup' is not a metaphor. It’s a small, plastic cup—one of several in a multicolored set. It is perfect for the bathroom sink. It’s just big enough for a sip of water in the middle of the night, or to wash down daily meds. I had not washed it since before January 1st. Before you get too grossed out, I had not used it either. You see, that little orange cup is the last thing in the house that Mark’s lips touched on January 1st, before he was loaded into an ambulance, never to return. I had picked up the orange cup several times before, thinking it was time to wash it and put it away. But each time it wasn’t. I would hug that little cup, cry a little (or a lot), and return it to the counter next to the sink. It wasn’t time to wash it—until today. Today, I washed the cup. When my mother died, her house coat (bath robe) was hanging on the back of the door in the bathroom. When my Dad died 5 years later, it still hung in the same spot. He had given away or tossed a lot of Mom’s items, but just not that house coat. Had he lived another 10 years, I think it may still have been there… or maybe not. Deep, profound grief is just weird. So, keep that in mind when you wonder why grieving people do (or don’t do) what you think they should do, or what seems normal. Grief is really weird. They’re just not ready to wash the cup."

Credit: Amy Boardman Rejmer

07/08/2022

Psychological domestic violence is like having an already low 'psyche' immunity. The abuser is like an auto immune disease or
cancer if you will, which invades an individual through their lowered barrier...and it grows and grows...until the individual can no longer function as themselves.

09/07/2022

Wisest words

01/07/2022

16/09/2021

15 September 2021

So here I am sitting in the backyard. The sun is shining, but there is also an assertive breeze happening. As I look across to my beloved 14 year old Border Collie Tess, I am grappling with the decision to help her pass away peacefully. Last night she had a restless time, sitting up and lying down. Her Vet had made a home visit and given her an anti nausea injection. So although restless she was no longer vomiting. She had hidden her face behind the couch, much as a wild animal would do....hiding from predators preying on the weak.

This morning just when I believed she was taking her last moments, she got herself up and made her ablutions in the back yard, and went to her favourite corner, and once again hid her face.She has been thus since 7.30 this morning. It is now 2pm. She is not distressed, she sleeps, her breath is steady and every so often she twitches her way through a dream. We’ve decided on who will cremate her and chosen her urn. And she lies there not knowing that her last few hours, days are completely in our hands. Can we squeeze another for her, for us? When her Vet came he said she looked much better than our troubled call indicated. Should she stay....or should we help her go now, while she still looks good, not distressed?

When she started to go down a few weeks ago I recalled the many, many lives lost in this house of 15 years. There have been birds, dogs, cats and a human. So many deaths....so many sad deaths. Lots of tears and questioning. Could we...should we have....Why didn’t he get that test?

However, while contemplated all these deaths, a voice said....."Yes true, but look at all the Life this house has seen!” And gosh!...hasn’t it? Long lives for dogs and cats, fostering of kittens, dog minding, rescuing stray baby cockatiels, budgies....37 years of life for our human and a human baby as well. Not to mentions four son's worth of girlfriends coming and going. So much has been jam packed into this Life, this house. Amongst all the sadness of the losses I had forgotten about the Life.

Death is natural, it is a part of Life. Each time a death happens we grieve, we grieve everything about that individual whether 2 or four footed, winged or furry.
And now I sit beside my dear little old love....my best girl. Tess came to us as a four year old. She was beautifully looked after by her previous guardian. As the years went along she refused to let me brush her, so she looked like a train wreck, but by golly she was a happy one. And she and I grew to love each other so much. Each morning I would make a fuss of her, asking her what interesting dreams she had. She responded with a wriggly, waggy tail and a big smile. Recently it has been just a tail wag and this morning just a lifting of her sweet face.

FINI
Our girl left us this morning 16.9.21....and I finally got to brush her