20/06/2022
The Lines that Bind.
It's easy to give into cynical sentiments these days. But cruising did have a special place in my relationship with my father.
I lost my father in the early hours of this past Memorial Day 2022. True to his nature and wishes there was no formal memorial or ceremonies. He and I lost my mother in the summer of 1995. Each left behind a lifetimes worth of memories from travel and experiences together. One trip we were never able to take as a family before her loss was a cruise. My dad and I would cruise eventually it would prove a common love we shared. “You hooked me on cruising. I thank you for that.” He told me during our last visit. The comment was sincere and will remain with me the rest of my days.
There was much history behind his comment. Years prior (and in a past age of cruising), my family visited the Sitmar Fairsea at the invitation of friends who had recently honeymooned aboard her. It was the Port of Los Angeles in 1984 and we were able to walk up the gangway and tour the ship like something out of an episode of The Love Boat. Until the final call for those not sailing to return to shore, we had the run of the ship. We strolled the decks, had a beverage in a lounge, and sampled the potential of travel at sea. Afterward we ate dinner not far away along the water as the Fairsea put to sea, followed closely by the Pacific Princess. In those hours was born my lifelong desire to cruise.
Sixteen years later I became the first member of my family to take a Caribbean cruise, aboard the historic Sovereign of the Seas in 1999. Along with the obligatory souvenir model of the ship, I bought a “pre-order” DVD box for a documentary featuring the construction of the Voyager of the Seas. The three part, two hour fifteen minute video, was hosted by Rolland Smith and produced by Fred Ashmen. Seminal figures in Royal Caribbean history and ship design, Richard Fain, Harri Kulovaara and the late Njal Eide told the story of creating the Voyager class. It can fairly be called the model for similar videos that fill travel channels about cruising. The ideation, construction, to the first arrival in Miami were documented in vivid detail. A couple of years later, armed with hundreds of photos on my laptop from two cruises and the DVD, I walked my remarried dad and family through my experiences. I left the DVD with him, and told him he would find it amazing and he had to watch it. He did.
My dad became a career electrician after serving in Vietnam with the U.S. Marine Corps from 68-72. He met my mother working equity waiver theater in Burbank, California about this time. They worked theater on the technical side many years, including my own time from age 7 through mom’s passing. We all shared a love of knowing the marvels of what went on behind the scenes of anything. Knowing how things worked around us was something we gained a richer appreciation of entertainment and more. So I knew the DVD would hook my dad. It did. After watching the DVD dad simply had to cruise on a Voyager class.
Dad would take his family on several cruises with Royal Caribbean. Eventually however my step sister graduated and began her own family and tragically her own mother passed away. For the first time in his life my twice widowed dad did not have to look after a family and sought solace in something he had learned to love, cruising. Dad branched out to cruise on Princess. In part because the brand experience resonated with him personally and also as a way to avoid competition and allow his son his own line that “belonged to him.”
Dad indulged himself in ways he never had opportunity too as a two time father and husband. Thermal suites, evenings with his nights gambling budget in the casinos, sitting for hours watching the sea pass and the sun set became is bliss. Each cruise resulted in dinners at our mutual favorite restaurant afterward to compare details of our most recent cruises. In a way it was like having been there with him, even if we never cruised together.
Some cruise stories were more amusing than others. Dad related sitting on the promenade of the Regal Princess with an hour before his main seating. He wearing his formal, simple collarless black suite jacket and slacks. Another gentleman sat next to him and simply began to spill his guts to him. It seems the man had also recently lost his wife and the cruise was his first time traveling alone. After half an hour, the man seemed to have spent himself sharing with my father. He rose, shook my dad’s hand and said simply “Thank you Father” and walked away. The legend of Father Patrick is a frequent travel story now in my family.
Cruising can be surrounded by conflicting worldviews, politics and social justice topics. For my father and I, cruising was about what it is supposed to be about. The experience, memories, seeking one’s bliss, and appreciating with awe and joy the result of so many people working tirelessly to make it all possible.
Dad thanking me during our last visit will always remind me that I introduced something to him that genuinely meant as much as it did. I will remember that day at Port Los Angeles with him and mom where it all began. I suggested to my sister that in the near future, we should cruise aboard his favorite ship with our families and raise a toast to him. It is one ceremony in his memory I know he wouldn’t mind.
