Helz Moves To France & Has A Baby

18/01/2023

I'm going to delete this page soon as still getting weird men linking things so if you haven't moved over to the group where there's more brutal honesty, now is your chance

Love h&r
Helz Moves To France & Has A Baby xx

09/11/2022

Just a reminder this PAGE is now closed. Please join our chats over at the new group Helz Moves To France & Has A Baby (confusing I know sorry)

Much love xx

23/10/2022

WERE NOT HERE!!

If you have come here looking to find info on coming to stay with Helena & Rose in France, don't worry you can still come visit but we have closed down this page due to safety and privacy concerns.

You can now find is and lots of other solo mums and mums to be in a private Facebook group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/helzinfrance/

Thank you x

05/10/2022

The room is ready for a solo mama arriving today with her little boy same age as Rose. She's from my mum support group and I'm delighted to host her for a few days.

Luckily we have everything ready so for once this mamma was able to travel with just hand luggage! (How nice)!!

Can't wait for Rose to have a little buddy for a few days, she won't know what's happening lol!!

🌹🥰🫂🤱🏠

29/09/2022

To my UK mums, I got sent this by a friend and seems legit. I know us solo mamas appreciate a family freebie :)

In case interested….

National Trust are giving away free tickets today in case anyone wants to grab one:

https://www.nationaltrust-tickets.org.uk/category/33142?branches.branchID=2286

1 ticket includes 2 adults and 4 kids. Expires 30th November

28/09/2022

I just wanted to share an example of how DIY gets done with a 6month old... It does, but very slowly.

I've been focusing on preparing the garden before autumn kicks in and this is as far as I've gotten, in 1hour slots of napping (if I'm lucky)
1. Tools always left outside to the elements in a rush
2. Half dug trench for a perimeter
3. Weeded the veg patch area took well over 2 weeks
4. I started building the greenhouse, there's 1 pole missing (who knows where that is)
5. Decking with only 1 coat of oil... Needs way more and hoping to find the time and a new back before winter really kicks in

The good thing is that life can go at a slower pace and not everything needs to be done quickly. (My brain can't quite process that, but it's getting there)

So if any mom's who know what to do with a veg patch area Wanna come visit, please do as this right here is the very definition of all the gear and no idea!!

🌹🥰🥦🌽🌶️🍅

06/09/2022

It's not all about Rose (it really is) but the renovation work must go on... SLOWLY.
The garden was supposed to be complete at the start of the summer so I could put up a pool and enjoy it but alas it's now basically complete and we can enjoy it in the last days of summer now, minus the pool.

Things happen slowly here and it's a pace I'm not used to but I suppose that's partly why I moved here.

Roll on next summer when rose and all her little friends who come visit can play away :)

04/09/2022

There's a few solo mums who have messaged about trips on September and October. There's 2 rooms available so I'm more than happy to have 2 mums at the same time, the more the merrier.

So if you're thinking of a trip, get in touch.

The local airport (Limoges) closes at the end of October for 6 weeks so this will be the last for this year.

Xx

19/08/2022

I wanted to share this photo as I think it shows how much becoming a mother has changed me. My energy and my aura are completely different now.

I'm not trying to make it all glossy and perfect, sure I'm tired, sure there's some times I'm like, just give me 5 mins. But overall, it's changed me to the very core of my being in the best possible way.

I was talking to a Paris based solo mum while I was here too, and she was saying the same thing, so I know it's not just me!!

I call my style of parenting, the path of least resistance and let Rose lead moat of the time and so far, that's working for us both!

Love love love her...

09/08/2022

Whilst we were home I decided to do something to celebrate Rose's arrival into the world. I debated this in my mind for quite a while. I'm not religious so a christening felt inappropriate though it would have made my mum happy so I decided on a naming ceremony and a handfasting with the whole family around to celebrate.

I'm really glad we did something as I believe its easy to hide as a single mum and think you don't deserve the fan fayre that comes with having a baby as a couple (let's call it the normal way for argument's sake). It's easy to ease into the world and not make a grand entrance.

Well I was super proud to hold Rose in my arms and announce her into the world, in a way that was special to me with the people who will be special to her!!

06/08/2022

Our holiday is nearing an end, we've spent 2.5 weeks in Ireland and a few days in London, my home of 12 years.

We've seen family we've seen friends. We've slept in many different beds and explored many new things.

Rose had a pretty bad viral head cold of some sort and was very poorly for about a week, but as usual she's a trooper, she throw up and then flash a smile to anyone around!

My Mum had COVID and couldn't cuddle her as much as she wanted then my niece got roses bug but worse and ended up in the hospital.

So you know, Eventful!!

Things I've learnt.

1. Baby's comfort comes 1st.
Rose doesn't like loud noises, I've no idea if it's rose or just a general baby thing so we have noise cancelling headphones for London and travelling

2. Babies know who they want
They will go to some people and not to others it's odd but only you know the signs so let them lead!

3. You'll need to go to bed longer with them in new spaces as they don't know where they are. But they adapt really quickly.

4. If they are anything like rose they will want to see everything!!

5. Doing the things you used to do and going to places you used to go with your new baby gives you a totally new perspective on things and life. It's like it's all new again and better.

6. Now I just wanna keep travelling with her. It's a lot of fun!!

7. Try to stick to your usual routine when you can, much easier for baby!

So lesson learnt. Travelling is ok with a baby alone, not nearly as scary as I thought. I hope we've learnt to trust eachother a little bit more.

Love Helz & 🌹

Please share your tips for us as were Gona keep this up when we can! X

24/07/2022

Warning.. things noone tells you about being a mum.( I could write a book on this... )

At some point you will be in the toilets of IKEA over the sink, milking yourself like a cow! You've gotta see the funny side sometimes 😁

Basically rose has a head cold as best I can tell, sniffles and a cough, but it means she's off her food certainly during the day so my b***s were extremely engorged and very painful so I had to release the pressure shall we say in IKEA toilets and in the kitchen sink earlier in the day.

The little rose does eat she coughs and then throws up but then still flashes a huge smile. She is the happiest sick person ever!

Please feel free to share your what I wish I'd knew stories :)

14/07/2022

We made it home and Rose got to meet her cousin for the 1st time. She's 2 months older btw, I knew rose was getting big but wow ..

She was delighted to meet her, they were both so in love with eachother it made my heart burst! Exactly why we wanted to come home!

Her other cousin who's 2 is also besotted, she has a new doll to play with!

So my tips for travelling...
Plan ahead, bring toys and snacks, Rose is only 4 months but we had cucumber slices frozen.
Accept help when it's offered and try to make it as much fun as possible!
But now we've broken the travelling bubble, well definitely be doing more for smiles like these. :)

13/07/2022

Were off on holidays, back to Ireland for 3 weeks. Have baby will travel!! 👶🏻🤱🏼🚙🚅💺✈️🌍🏠

So far 6am start, drive to the station, 1 train change and now on the 2nd train then a bus to Bordeaux airport.

Rose is loving it! Seeing people smiling at everyone she spent the 1st train just chatting and chatting!!

Can't wait to be home so everyone can meet her.

08/07/2022

Anyone any tips for postpartum hair loss? At this stage I'm surprised I'm not bald!! 😳🤰🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👴🏻

06/07/2022

Topic: health worries

So when Rose was about 4 weeks old, I discovered something strange in her mouth, A HOLE! YES A HOLE. It causes her to choke a lot, like saliva gathers and it takes her by surprise and me! It's actually terrifying!

So whilst trying not to panic and trying not to Google, I failed and this may be the first time Google didn't have any answers.

Luckily the healthcare here is phenomenal especially if you're a baby! We were fast tracked to an oral/ facial specialist. Rose had a consult followed by an ultrasound on her throat.

Lucky were out the other end now and it has been confirmed as a malformation of the tongue it has basically formed further back than it's meant to, think the opposite of a tongue tie.

It may be what caused me so many problems breast feeding. The hole is growing as she's growing so we've been told that it's unlikely to cause problems with moving onto solids but it is something that scares me.

All in all, Rose is perfect, parenting is hard but oh so rewarding! As I say all the time, even the bad days with rose are good days, the best days!!

She makes me so happy!

21/06/2022

Last week was a wonderful week of firsts.

Rose started to roll over, mainly onto her front, she doesn't like lying on her back so I can't see rolling back happening anytime soon. (Video here)

She started spontaneously laughing in the doctors waiting room, much to the delight of everyone waiting.

She moved over to her cot instead of cosleeping, a transition that happened far too easily for my liking. But we were keeping eachother awake so it felt like the right time... :(

AND THEN the heatwave came and my little bundle of joy and smiles and happiness couldn't cope. It started Friday and by sat it was 42C easily in the day and 32C at night. It was too much for anyone, nevermind a little baby. Saturday night age was throwing up and looking at me with her sad little eyes not knowing what was happening to her. It was heartbreaking.

Thanks to a wonderful neighbour who answered my call for an Aircon unit and it at least helped a little, now it's helping a lot.

Since then, her routine has been thrown out (whibh I know happens) but she keeps getting inconsolable at night, waking up crying and being really hard to settle. But we're getting there and even though it means me going to bed at 6pm, if she needs me to be beside her, that's where I'll be.

Being a mum is a rollercoaster. But were muddling through with smiles, tears, cuddles and now giggles and squeeks.

It's the best!!

16/06/2022

This time last year (well yesterday) I went into the hospital for my egg collection not knowing at all where the journey was going to take me.

They had told me the follicles weren't developing as fast as they had hoped and were unsure what the outcome would be.

My plan from the beginning was to take everything one step at a time and not get too caught up in the outcome.

I ended up with 18 eggs, 15 fertilised the following and 2 made it to day 5 and 4 more made it to day 6 so I have several frozen waiting for me to decide if a no.2 ia on the cards.

But 1 of those lucky eggs resulted in the most amazing Baby I could have ever dreamt of. I could have not imagined where I'd be this year but I am so glad I am here.

So my advice to anyone at that stage or heading there.

One step at a time, don't worry or stress about the future, those emotions won't help your journey. Focus on you in the moment with all the positive energy you can muster and FEEL to your very core that it's Gona happen!

No regrets in any way about the decisions I made that got me here!!

Xx

25/05/2022

Baby is asleep, not on me or beside me, but in bed.. probably won't last long so I better write quick. I've been wanting to write this one on consent for weeks now...

I have a few close people here who I have no issues holding rose, in fact, take her while I have a meal or a coffee, I'm all good. We call them nana... Etc. But they know that I don't want anyone kissing her, holding and cuddles I'm ok with, not kissing.
So why on god's green earth do strangers think it's ok to come over and blindside me and kiss her without even asking.

I done know if it happens boy babies as much but it's happened rose 3 times now and I don't feel I've protected her enough. She can't consent she's too young, without asking people don't even give me the option of consenting on her behalf.

She's 11 weeks and consent is already playing a role in her life, that's upsetting.

I need a speech to say when strangers come over to coo at her, something that isn't rude, or maybe I don't care about being rude as I need to advocate for her.

Sharing your thoughts and experiences would be much appreciated. Xx

Ps she woke up about 4th paragraph lol

20/05/2022

i was planning to head back to Ireland for a month but plans have changed and we will now be here atleast until August if anyone wants to come over, though i know flights are extortionate in summer :(

temp has been a steady +25 here for a while now so i expect a good summer xx

Update: you can check availability and location here...

Located in Rancon, 21 miles from Limoges, Chez Elles Apartment & Chambre D'Hôte provides a garden and free WiFi.

14/05/2022

How do you all feel about sharing pics of your babies? (Or thoughts on future babies)
I shared some at the start and i do in family WhatsApp groups but I haven't done much online. I had this feeling at the start that she was too perfect and I didn't want to share her lol...

28/04/2022

The show must go on and as normal life with rose stabilises, the work continues on the house. She is so good that I feel like we can do things and she won't mind and will sleep through most. She'll probably have a paint brush in her hand in no time!!

But now finally after 14 months and a. Baby I can finally unpack and call a space my (our) own!! 😍

Who's coming to visit, I'm so ready for some mama company!! :)

10/04/2022

One thing I've noticed recently about motherhood and having Rose, is my ability to look back on my past life and experiences and see them in a different light, a more forgiving light. I'm hoping that those solo mamas begining this journey will find some comfort in this and those who are further down the line may relate .. so here goes...

Many solo mamas take this path because of crappy relationships, because they've been hurt, mentally or physically, because they no longer trust their hopes and dreams in another person, because they've lost their faith in finding a life partner. I'm all of the above. But I'm lucky because I think from quite a young age, being a solo mum has always been an option for me.

But all that pain endured, all the tears and fears and anxiety. It has all led me to having Rose and looking back I can see experiences throughout the bad times, signs and symbols that with the privilege of hindsight we're all pointing to rose. I didn't know it then but all those things and that sh*tty relationship, it led me to where I'm meant to be, here with her.

At the start someone asked how it felt now she was here and to be a mom. I said it felt perfectly normal, no different. Like she's always existed, she's always been a part of me, now she just happens to be here in my arms.

So yes now I can look back and not be angry, and forgive him(kinda) but more importantly forgive myself. I am exactly where I am meant to be, here with rose. Tired, anxious, happy, sad, grateful and very proud of this journey...

Go get em mamas...

27/03/2022

Happy 1st mother's day, I am very grateful to have had my own mother with me this week and today, it's been special. As you can see by me trying to capture the moment my little Rose is flipping me off... Typical!! She is her mother's daughter 🤣😍🥰

2 things arose today for us.

1. Happy 1st mother's day... 5 years ago I was pregnant on mother's day and celebrated it then. I went on to miscarry that baby but I always felt like I was a mother so this one feels slightly different but certainly not my first. (not that anyone would really know that's how I felt)

2. I introduced formula today, that was pretty saddening but something is telling me she's not getting enough from me, I call her a little bobble head, always tapping away looking for food... The plan is to supplement alongside breastfeeding for now anyway. Hopefully things will settle for us both but it is what it is and all any of us want is for a little happy bundle of joy :)

Happy mother's day to all of you, to those who have experienced loss especially, I feel you today XX

20/03/2022

Baby Rose is 16 days old and granny Rosie arrived today (thank god).

To all you mamas who breastfeed RESPECT!! The past 2 weeks have been hard in terms of that, Rose does nothing but feed and suckle and my b***s were sore from about day 3 fast forward to a few days ago and the pain just became constant and I was considering quitting and moving to formula. I always said that I would try and if it didn't work it didn't work, no pressure. Easier said than done...

The pain has eased a lot well 1 good day so far but I'll take it and today the left b**b got sore again...

Other than the constant b**b, Rose is healthy and happy, bright eyed, strong and beautiful. I'm not sure if it's possible but every day I love her a little bit more.

This is what I was meant to do in life all roads (lots of potholes) lead to Rose!!

🌹🥐🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼💤💤💤💤💤

11/03/2022

I have a 1 week old... Eeekkk

The most amazing, terrifying, anxious, happy week ever. Wow there's a lot for the physical and emotional systems to process.

So I wanted to post about the realities, the highs and lows.

Here in France you (back on b**b) stay in hospital for a few days for them to look after you and baby, check they are healthy and put weight on, that you can feed and bathe etc. What comes with this, for me anyway, was a sense of security that you aren't consciously aware of. So when it's time to go home it's a bit of a shock to the system.

I got home day 5 and that's when all the fear and anxiety hit, what was I doing and would I be enough for her on my own. She is so perfect, I'm Gona mess something up. Am I feeding enough, is she sleeping enough, is she sleeping too little .. am I sleeping at all??

So, none of these things I have the answer to but I do know so far that this is a learning curve for both (back on b**b) rose and I but we're learning together.

I was and still am relishing doing this on my own, I now wouldn't have it any other way...

So if me sitting for hours with a baby attached to my b**b constantly is what I have to do, then I'll do it!!

It's a hard road all you mamas out there and mamas to be, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're superwomen!! 🦸🏼‍♀️🤱🏼🥰.

As you can see this took a while to write in-between b**b breaks xx

04/03/2022

Well we did it .. wohoooo I am now a proud solo mum of this little princess Rose Marie, weighing in at 2.8kg or 6.1lbs born 6.59am 4/3/22

Here's the story...

Contractions started about 7/8pm last night though I didn't know that's what they were so I spent half the night googling and regret not having a nap in the day lol

They weren't "normal" low down abdominal pains, none upper at all so I wasn't convinced until...

About 10pm after watching married at 1st sight Australia, when they got much harder and were about every 3 mins. Then about 1am decided they were real contractions and I should go to the hospital.

I got here at 2am, they were busy so I put music on and danced and went through the motions for an hour and progressed from 1-3cm dilation. By 4 or 5 I was 5cm and moved to the birthing suite. By 6am I was 7cm but 9 whilst having contractions, so they said I could start pushing, which is good cus shortly after I had no choice and I was shouting I gotta push.

After about 20/30 mins of pushing we delivered her at 6.59am. They put this big messy blob on me straight away and tbh I had no idea what was happening at this stage I was so dazed.

I had a small tear requiring 3 stitches but other than that all good. No epidural as by the time I was like ok let's do it they said you really aren't far I think you'll be ok without it. So we just went for it.

She's here. Let the games begin!!!

01/03/2022

I've decided to switch off from all news media for the next month at least. Snooze all news on Facebook for 30 days and no TV news or apps, because having a baby doesn't make me anxious. But having a baby when the world is losing its dam mind, that's making me anxious.

I have also reached out to as many groups as I could find to offer a room to a ukranian mother and kids, so if anyone knows anyone in need as I know you are a global crew, then do let me know! Xx

25/02/2022

I remember thinking at the start of this pregnancy, I'm sure I'll be fine I won't need many maternity clothes... Look at me now 38 weeks and I never thought I could get this big.

She's still cooking away, no signs of arriving yet, weekly monitoring is happening which is cool and no sign of contractions etc.

I know one day I'll miss this bump so I want to document it as much as poss.

And bonus, work has finally started in my bedroom and I'll soon be able to unpack after a year and it's tidy ha, 1st pregnancy pic without my room being a mess in the background lol!

Not long to go, feel like we could do a sweepstake ;)

Xx

17/02/2022

It's almost a year since I arrived in France, and some of you may remember that the whole reason I bought this house to renovate was so that I could offer it to solo mamas as a free retreat/ sanctuary. And i've been working out what is the best way for me to do that.

So from this spring (after baby arrives and i've settled a little) I'd love to welcome solo mums to be, solo mums and even those simply considering the journey.

I know, we all know how tough this journey can be, from making the decision, to going through options, to living through the highs and lows of trying, through losses and successes, through births and miscarriages, right through to parenting which is a whole new set of trials and tribulations.

So if you need a break but all your finances have gone into this journey then please get in contact and let me know when you'd like to visit.

You'll have a warm bed and a sympathetic ear and as much or as little conversation as you'd like! Come gather your thoughts, have a break, relax, unwind, let the kids run wild in the garden, help plant vegetables, play in the pool (that i still have to buy). Just be and regroup and go back to kicking ass on this journey.

Please do message me if you'd like to come or even just to say hi! xx

Check out some of the latest photos here. https://www.facebook.com/shedaredtodream/photos

17/02/2022

11/02/2022

The hospital confirmed this week that they are happy to proceed with a natural birth and only move to C-section if necessary. Majority of my risk factors have been reduced so they seem happy! Me too!

I'm happy as long as baby comes out safe and sound but this is good news, now to relax and focus on becoming a mother within the next few weeks..

Eeeekkkk

What did any of you who are already mamas do to prepare, not like rooms and cots and things but mentally?
Xx

08/02/2022

Kitchen/ winter lounge 99% complete today thanks to my kind neighbours.

The table extends to fit as many mamas around it as possible when you all come to visit!

I'll send details on that shortly! :)

07/02/2022

Today was the extra sizing scan for baby! It's been 3 weeks since she was weighed in at 1.8kg ANDDDD I am delighted with the news.

She weighed in as a whopping 2.78kg, THAT'S MA GIRL!! So she is back within the normal range and thriving! And I am HUGE!!

In other good news, my haemoglobin is back up within normal range too and I am no longer classed as anaemic which is perfect in time for the birth.

All of this means that there's a lot less (but not none) risks for the birth and there's a higher % of me having a natural birth.

The doctors and midwives are getting together tomorrow to discuss my case and decide on the path they would prefer, but I'll know tomorrow.

Now I can focus on the next few weeks and the birth and baby being here and relax!

Ugh so relieved, delighted!! Xx

02/02/2022

Geez putting prams together (without instructions) takes an engineering degree!! But it's done.. yey

Sorry for the messy house ;)

The wheels haven't arrived, they're in another box I posted from my mums haha, they better arrive!

I'm all for 2nd hand baby items, are you?

23/01/2022

I know I'm only 33 weeks but I finally feel like I'm getting there, my Covid is over, anaemia is getting better almost at normal levels and the house is coming together. I've even managed to pack the baby case (not mines but that's next)...

I'm starting to feel like myself again and that feels good!!

There's still some concerns for baby but I'm putting my faith in the doctors, they've done everything amazingly so far...

So all I can do is rest and eat and get ready for little ones arrival!!

I have 3 different (maybe 4) sleeping options for her, is there such a thing as being too prepared??

🤰🏼🤱🏼🌹🥳

18/01/2022

Something happens after 30 weeks (maybe more so for people who have experienced miscarriages) but the baby becomes real, well she has for me anyway. Now she's something tangible who will be here really soon, it's am odd but amazing feeling.

Every week feels like a blessing and that I'm a step closer to holding baby in my arms. (Hopefully not too soon)

I won't deny it and say that the anxiety is still there, until she's physically in my arms it will be there.

Has anyone else experienced the same?

14/01/2022

I made it back to France!! Yey 🇫🇷🥐🥳🥰🤰🏼💪🏻👶🏻

After 2 weeks of Covid, still testing positive ans still having symptoms, I finally made it back and was seen straight away by the hospital.

I love the care here, 10 mins in the door, strapped in and baby monitored. She is so strong, moving a lot and a strong heartbeat!

My iron levels have increased 7.9 to 10 which is awesome but still a way to go to be within normal range before birth, but it's very possible.

I have a warm bed and my own pillow and there's no chance I won't be asleep by 9pm. (Totally acceptable at 32 weeks).

As for Covid they said I was out of any contagious stage after 14 days and they weren't worried, I wasn't deemed a risk which I was worried about. But je did say they have been getting it tough with lots of positive cases, so please keep safe everyone xx

How's everyone else doing? Don't forget I'm here if you have any questions at any stage :)