16/05/2024
Why I DON'T ask my anxious dog to "sit and stay" in many situations...
Ever felt trapped? In a situation in which you felt vulnerable and had lost control? ❤️
Imagine someone walking or running towards you, someone you knew who was going to threaten, scare you, or even cause you harm.
Your options are limited: you could shut down and simply hope they didn't come too close, quickly jerk to avoid a head-on collision, or with enough warning turn and walk the other way.
Many of us want to avoid conflict and will choose to move the other way. Some of us may try to protect ourselves.
Let's now think about Fido, who's anxious, scared of other dogs, they are happily walking with their guardian, and low and behold, another unknown dog is approaching them.
They could get them to sit and wait, keep them focused on them. This keeps them distracted away from the other dog? (And sometimes yes this is the only option if limited space).
But this distraction or focus is sometimes not enough, they want to feel safe, have an escape route, a choice. Be able to cope.
But feeling safe is about having options - by asking them to sit and wait I've taken away that option. They are in 'flight' mode and wants to get away.
They want to create distance from the said scary dog, so they feel less vulnerable, less stuck 'in the moment'.
My best advice - where possible, keep moving ✅️
Now for every situation, this doesn't always work, especially if you caught up in an alleyway or turn a blind corner...
However, there are some great emergency strategies like the find it game or emergency to turn:
Sprinkle some food over the floor, this can help act as an outlet, the dog can focus on the ground, keeping their attention. Or a quick u-turn moving 90 degrees to offer an escape route.
But where possible, especially in the early stages of building your dog's confidence, avoid situations where they feel 'confined'.
Distance is your friend ✅️
I like to create an arc, moving parallel away from the other dog. By creating distance, significant space between us, Fido feels less conflicted.
They can now relax, feel less pressurised. They have been given the option. The option to move away.
In fact, in many circumstances their lunging or barking is a cry for help: they've done all they possibly can to help communicate to us and the other dog, that they need distance.
A sniff on the floor, a freeze, avoiding eye contact.
Ever had someone walk head-on and you felt compelled to get out your phone or fiddle with your hair?
These are like our coping strategies, your dog is also trying to cope.
So to conclude - a sit and stay in some situations acts as an incompatible behaviour, it's hard to lunge and sit at the same time. It's also sometimes our only option.
But try to where possible to avoid these situations, give your dog space.
Empower your dog to make the right choices, before they have to bark or lunge.
Thanks for reading,
Helen Motteram
