The Adventures of Dug the Dog

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The Adventures of Dug the Dog

The life and droolings of a small remedial collie from the high seas.
(1)

22/06/2023

Yesterday I pooed on a whole new island - Whalsay. 10/10, would poo there again.

05/03/2023

Hahahahahaga it jumped in mud and got its second bath in three days! I laughed so much a bit of wee leaked out.

05/03/2023

This. This annoys me. But I don’t get blamed for as many farts.
Anyone know how to return to sender on these?

19/02/2023

This is my baby bro. He’s not a collie. He’s a Caithness Carpet Shark.

06/02/2023

Mum an mum banadoned me with Uncle Nick and auntie Julie for at least a year. Maybe two. I was NEVER fed. No walks. Made to sleep outside. And Nick made me wear a hat.
AN THEN IT GOTTED WORSE.
When mum and mum got back from their 5 year holiday they brought thing THING with them. It teleports from a-b as nuffin can goes that fasts. And it’s got a gob full of needles.
Mum photoshopped this to make it look like I tolerate him. Pah.

28/01/2023

I’m stayin wiv uncle Nick and auntie Julie an my bro Skipper. We goes to the beech lots. Holes might happen. Uncle Nick sez I’m not a collie flower I’m an Orcadian chip badger.

17/01/2023

So mum took me to the dogtor cos my leggies are a bit ouchy. She said I'm FAT! I'm fluffy, not fat. Maybe a little bit of treato retention. AND THEN (it got worserer) she shaved my neck and my floof broke the clippers so she needed another go and she stole a whole entire leg full of my blood. Maybe two legss full. This is to check for handsomeness and intelligence and wonderfulness and how I am deficient on my snackos reserves which could be fatal. Oh heck.
For my revenge I released my own fragrance (no-one liked it) and then did a massive poo slap bang in the middle of the doorway. Take that dogtors!

30/12/2022

Mum gotted the vacuum cleaner thingy out and I bit it and but it and bit it until it stopped. I’m a hero and no-one appreciate me.

22/12/2022

Everything smells funny….kinda like a plant…..maybe I’m having a stroke?!

21/12/2022

Look at my belly! It’s wonderfully mucky.

15/12/2022

These squeaky toys went past the window and I WASN’T ALLOWED OUT. I’m gonna widdle on the Christmas tree.

09/12/2022

I slept on my granny’s bed ALLLLLL NIIIIIGHT. I was a fuzzy hot water doggle.

30/10/2022

Mum says she has got me a costume for tomorrow. I’m gonna be BATDOG. Or DOGBAT.

08/10/2022

Mum spoke to a CATZ at Tesco. This is AGAINST THE RULES. You are not allowed to tell CATZ they are nice. They haz needles in their peets

04/10/2022

Mum said she saw my face in the paint chips at the top of the steps to the wheelhouse. She filled in the blanks and then she might actually have a point.

01/10/2022

It was VERRRR windy yesterday. Boat was doing that bouncy bouncy thing I don't like. So for some reason I got extra cuddles and magic treats. Also mum gives me cheese EVERY DAY! She says there aren't any tablets hidden in it, but I have my suspicions....

26/09/2022

I got a new bed! It’s awesome. Loads of room to stretch my leggies out and fart. Mum says it’s a super dooper king size. But actually it’s Dug size. I even let the hoomins sleep in it too. Mum built me a set of steps out of boxes so I can get up without landing like I have come in from low earth orbit. Whatever that is.

22/09/2022

I wanna meet this one. It’s the ultimate. Ball AND seal. BEALL SEALL.

17/09/2022

THERE WAS A RUNNY BABBIT BUT THE STUPID FORCEFIELD STOPPED ME FROM GETTING IT.

17/09/2022

Mum bought me a hallowe’en costume. I don’t know what halloween is, but I’m gonna bet it tastes awesome.

16/09/2022

I want to s***f a fart squirrel. Reminds me when I was very very little and a Maalie baby chucked up on me. I smelled AWESOME, but mum gave me 27 baths and I only smelled half as bad.

13/09/2022

I iz the captain! I got a hat to prove it. And 22,000 (ish) sea miles. Which in DOG sea miles is 154,000. (also the white stuff stuck to my snootle is 100% not yogurt expertly licked from the bottom of an empty pot.)

08/09/2022

HALP! HAAAALP. Somethin terribork has happened. Mum offered me a treat to follow and of course - yes I did. THEN THE BATHROOM DOOR CLOSED.
And I was put in the bath and WASHED.
She uses Wildwash, which at least doesn't smell like flowers and baby powder (why would anyone want to smell like a baby arse?!) BUT I'M CLEAN.
I was attached to some of those smells. Took me AGES.
Oh and she laughed at me cos I look like I'm made of string and eyeballs when I'm wet. Harrrrrumph.

03/09/2022

I gotts to see Uncle Lee yesterday. It was verrrrrr early an we went o the hair port. But I still gots a cuddle.

01/09/2022

Mum is digging holes with the JCB. I told her I can help, but she said it was ok, she would be ok. I might sneak out later and help a bit.

31/08/2022

Mum went to the dogtor again today to collect the magic stuff that makes me not sore, and we gave a little version of me and her mum a lift to the ferry. I approve 100%.

31/08/2022

I went to the dogtor yesterday. All of a sudden mum is giving me an extra treat in the morning and night. And I feel like a puppo again, with extra treats.

30/08/2022

HALP!
Mum cut the grass and RAN OVER MY FEEEESH.
It's innards are now outards.

29/08/2022

At sea AGAIN, but only from Kirkwall to Stromness. I’m gonna widdle on evvyfin. Twice. And see if Emily will feed me a custard cream.

28/08/2022

I'm HOME! I chased the CAT and had a poo on my own lawn and found my squeaky feeeesh I forgot I had.

Address

Ferry Road
Stromness

Website

http://www.mv-valhalla.co.uk/

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