06/12/2024
Ovid on picking up a girl at the Circus Maximus from his Ars Amatoria (Art of Love)
Furthermore, don't overlook the meetings when horses are running;
In the crowds at the track opportunity waits.
There is no need for a code of finger-signals or nodding.
Sit as close as you like; no one will stop you at all.
In fact, you will have to sit close - that's one of the rules, at a race track.
Whether she likes it or not, contact is part of the game.
Try to find something in common, to open the conversation;
Don't care too much what you say, just so that every one hears.
Ask her, 'Whose colors are those?' - that's good for an opening gambit.
Put your own bet down, fast, on whatever she plays.
Then, when the gods come along in procession, ivory, golden,
Outcheer every young man, shouting for Venus, the queen.
Often it happens that dust may fall on the blouse of the lady.
If such dust should fall, carefully brush it away.
Even if there's no dust, brush off whatever there isn't.
Any excuse will do: why do you think you have hands?
If her cloak hangs low, and the ground is getting dirty,
Gather it up with care, lift it a little, so!
Maybe by way of reward, and not without her indulgence,
You'll be able to see ankle or possibly knee.
Then look around and glare at the fellow who's sitting behind you,
Don't let him crowd his knees into her delicate spine.
Girls, as everyone knows, adore these little attentions:
Getting the cushion just right, that's in itself quite an art;
Yes, and it takes a technique in making a fan or your program
Or in fixing a stool under the feet of a girl.
Such is the chance of approach the race track can offer a lover.