27/02/2024
"Beware" and "be aware"
The 6th of February 2024 was observed as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Day so this article highlights this concept.
When Love Hurts
Taking A Look Inside Teen Dating Violence
When we think of teenagers exploring their new world, which includes budding independence, romantic interest in persons of the opposite s*x, and awareness of self as sensual beings who want partner connections, we don’t usually visualize violence as a part of that innocent and natural stage of adolescent development. When our teenagers conceptualize ‘dating’, for many of them it includes spending break time in each other’s company, walking home from school together, exclusively spending time at sporting or other school events, or sitting with each other at the movies, among a bigger group of friends. It is, and should be, a natural stage of their development whereby they are exploring new feelings, concepts, awareness of self in relation to people of the opposite s*x, and all this self-exploration should be done in a way whereby teenagers feel emotionally safe.
Violence, in this space that was intended to be marked by growing self-awareness, is an often-overlooked issue that affects teenagers in our federation, and indeed worldwide. The violence intimated here, refers to physical, emotional or s*xual violation that occurs within a romantic relationship between two teenagers, and can have long term and devastating consequences on both the victim and the perpetrator – both teenagers.
Teenagers who experience physical aggression, emotional abuse (manipulating; intimidating behaviour) as well as verbal putdowns and threats, are more likely to experience low self- esteem, depression, anxiety and lifelong trauma.
Helping to address this issue, comes from first recognizing and identifying warning signs of teen dating violence, including sudden changes in the teen’s behaviour, isolation from friends and family, unexplained injuries, drastic changes in school performance and interest, and fear of partner’s reaction to some things. Identifying signs early, could lead to opportunities to intervene and support the teen victim.
Prevention efforts, aimed at educating teenagers, both male and female, about healthy relationships, consent and communications skill, go a long way in helping teenagers navigate this part of their development. Teenagers need to know themselves, and know themselves in relation to male/female relationships, and this knowledge must come through the safety and nurture of healthy teen dating.
Mrs. Michele Delacoudray-Blake
Director National Counseling Centre
St. Kitts
