Sue Halliwell - Celebrant

18/08/2024

I found this lovely piece on grief and gratitude today and thought I'd share.

“The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop much compassion for other people’s suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible.”
Francis Ward Weller

06/02/2024

Another free - and highly recommended - local seminar on end-of-life preparation by renowned international expert in the field, Marie de Hennezel.

Date: Wednesday 21st February 2024 Time: 5:30 - 7:30pm Venue: Northland Rugby Clubrooms, 136 Riverside Dr, Whangarei Join us in welcoming world-renowned psychologist, psychotherapist and author Marie de Hennezel, to share her decades of working with the dying and those looking to age well, beginning...

06/02/2024

A free (and well-recommended) local seminar for those interested in a fresh approach to end-of-life preparation and palliative care. https://gowithgrace.nz/product/how-the-dying-teach-us-to-live/?

Date: Tuesday 13th February 2024 Time: 10am - 12 noon Venue: North Haven Hospice, 24A Takahe St, Tikipunga, Whangārei Join us in welcoming world-renowned psychologist, psychotherapist and author Marie de Hennezel, to share her decades of working with the dying and those looking to age well. Part of...

08/07/2023

Here's a really good article on anticipatory grief - the grieving we do before someone dies, knowing they are going to die. It's definitely a thing.
https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/talkabout/articles/what-is-anticipatory-grief/271278?fbclid=IwAR0AstSdk2hCFFp5p7_6qFAC-JDLI0aL6MYx8e_t9HdR8uak-9jtLasYW8w

We often think of grief as something which happens after a death. In fact, grief can start a long time before someone dies, but this often isn't acknowledged, or even understood.

08/06/2023

If you are interested in a fresh, holistic approach to undertaking...

Our Open Days are coming up this month, we always enjoy showing people around our premises, as well as the lively and diverse conversations that ensue!
Look forward to seeing you then 🙂

26/05/2023

For all those couples planning a summer wedding. How much is too much to spend? https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/opinion-analysis/300887302/how-much-money-should-i-spend-on-my-wedding?cid=app-iPhone&fbclid=IwAR2GEBYQG5-3SoCycC2MIJWVt7UrlRqKi_BTB3nub-eGbNXq5lwPopWDdhc

Planning a wedding can be exciting, but with the average Kiwi wedding costing over $30,000, it can also bring about disagreements when it comes to budgeting.

03/05/2023

Marriages on the rebound, so to speak...
https://www.stats.govt.nz/news/marriages-bouncing-back-after-covid?fbclid=IwAR1zvV1za-vYbvk-L1Di1mxQ1wBoa_tuFeTmjp7sPFNLZftgtNcNwTpzO4M

The number of marriages celebrated in New Zealand increased in 2022 following lower numbers in the previous two years.

10/12/2022

Another lovely poetic gift from Donna Ashworth.

When I go,
from ‘loss’: https://amzn.eu/d/fwIp4VX

07/12/2022

Whether you’ve been married for years or are newly-wed – have you thought about renewing your wedding vows?

Whether you’ve been married for years or are newly-wed – have you thought about renewing your wedding vows?

A vow renewal ceremony is a way to express your ongoing love and commitment to each other, and to perhaps celebrate this with some of the important people in your lives.

Here’s 5 reasons why you should consider renewing your wedding vows!
We have close to 1,000 experienced celebrants nationwide, to help with your vow renewal ceremony. You can search for one on our website.

25/11/2022

The talented Donna Ashworth does it again...

Another page from ‘LOSS’. Love Me Still ♥️

https://amzn.eu/d/fwIp4V

23/11/2022

Another lovely poem for a funeral or memorial service from Donna Ashworth.

Another from ‘LOSS’ https://amzn.eu/d/fwIp4VX

21/11/2022

A lovely and popular reading for a wedding ceremony.

19/11/2022

It's National Celebrants' Day.

Today marks a special day here at Celebrants Aotearoa…

Today is National Celebrants Day!

This is a special day to celebrate all of our incredible celebrants who are providing service to the community for weddings, funerals, naming ceremonies, vow renewals and other life celebrations.

On this special day, many of our celebrants across New Zealand are meeting together to raise a glass and celebrate the awesome job they do.

Kia Kaha to all of our celebrants - we are so proud of the work you do.

29/08/2022

Beautiful words for those who grieve from a poet called Numinous Jane.
May you have the grace to grieve. May you understand how modern western culture is flimsy on comfort around grief, teaching us that impervious is strong, when it seems that only makes us brittle.
May you have the support of trustworthy others, human or no, who can stay with you as you surrender to grief.
May part of your surrender be the acknowledgment that grief is not pretty but always more beautiful than avoidance.
May you find ways to undo equating loss with imperfection. May tending to yourself in the face of what feels ring and distressing be part of grief’s dark gift.
May you, as you walk in the shadow of what was, find ways to feel the buds of something new, and if not that, then a deepening of your roots in the way that life is always leading you on.
May you honour the scars and may the Grace that loves you in ways seen and unseen never waver and may you be nourished by that into your bones.

21/08/2022

Love this insight on grief from the wonderful Brene Brown.

12/08/2022

Another snippet from the lovely Tara Shannon for anyone who is missing someone they loved.

Sometimes I want to hug you
So much..and then I remember...
You’re gone
So I wrap myself up in a happy
Memory
& squeeze it until,
For a little while at least,
It’s enough

©Tara Shannon

09/08/2022

Good to see the wonderful work of local undertakers, A Graceful Undertaking, getting coverage in the Northern Advocate.

A Graceful Undertaking has been offering our services for five years now, so a bit of coverage in The Northern Advocate

07/08/2022

Out of interest....

Question of the Day: What song would you want to be played at your funeral and why?

26/07/2022

How to change your name after you marry - if you choose to.

💍Changing your surname after getting married isn't compulsory in New Zealand, and it's a simple process.

💍Can I use it straight away?
Yes, When you get married – or enter into a civil union - in New Zealand, you don’t have to fill out any forms in order to change your surname. You can start using your spouse’s surname right away. And you can change it back at any time.

💍How do I change my passport and driver’s licence?
While you can still travel on a passport or with your driver’s licence in your original surname, if you do want to apply for new documents (or any other paperwork, bank accounts, etc.) with your new surname, you can use your marriage or civil union certificate showing your spouse or partner’s surname as evidence of your new surname.

💍For more information about changing your name, read our blog: https://www.celebrantsaotearoa.co.nz/blog/changing-your-name-after-your-wedding/

22/07/2022

“There’s an ache you feel in your heart,” said Bear, “when you lose someone you have truly loved…”
“It feels like the ground beneath you has fallen away.” said Rabbit.
“Yes,” said Bear, “it feels just like that.”

©Tara Shannon, 2022

16/07/2022

So rare to find good poetry around death and dying, so sharing this profound offering from Tara Shannon. Bless you, Tara.

I remember the day you died
You closed your eyes
after looking at me one last time
& went to sleep
Your breaths
long, soft and slow
I held your hand
and looked at you
My person.
My perfect person.
Taking your final breaths
& me...
trying, helplessly, haplessly
to say goodbye
and thank you
And then it happened
There we stood
Hand in hand
at the edge of a great abyss
You were afraid to take that step
& I was afraid to let you go
to be alone in the world without you
But it had to be
I said, "I'll be okay"
Because I would
It was you after all who prepared me
Then, as always, you were brave
You took that step
And I knew
because of you
one day
I could be that brave too
©Tara Shannon

15/07/2022

11/07/2022

What's the first step in organising a funeral?

What is the first step to organising a funeral?

With the range of traditions and cultures in New Zealand today, there are many different ways to say goodbye to a loved one who has died. One of them is a funeral.

The beginning point is to approach a local Funeral Home of your choice. They are available 24/7. The Funeral Director (FD) will meet with the immediate family to discuss and implement all aspects of the funeral. They will uplift and care for your loved one and help with visitation, services, burial or cremation.

They will also appoint a celebrant to meet with the family to plan and facilitate the service unless the family wishes to have another person of their choosing.

For more information read our blog: “What happens at a funeral”
https://buff.ly/3uxsxCg

10/07/2022

The older I get, the more I see this to be true. To love someone is to attend a thousand funerals...

"To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be.

The people they're too exhausted to be any longer.

The people they don't recognize inside themselves anymore.

The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into.

We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out; to become speedily found when they are lost.

But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be.

It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way.

Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame.

Sometimes it will be a flicker that disappears and temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness."

💛 Heidi Priebe
🎨 Maxine Noel, Soulmates

03/07/2022

It's important to think about how we want our lives celebrated when we die - if only to help loved ones if it happens unexpectedly. Happy to talk with anyone who wants help with this. Just message me.

How do you want your life to be celebrated when you die?

Thinking about the death of a loved one or our own death is often a reach too far and is frequently ignored. However, it is worth thinking about what type of farewell you or your loved ones would like when you die so your wishes can be carried out. It will make it much easier for them when the time comes.

The first place to start is to find out what type of farewell you or your loved one envisage: a funeral, a memorial and a celebration of life. Planning the more delicate details is easier once you have decided on what type of ceremony you would like.

But, what is the difference between a funeral, a memorial and a celebration of life?

Read our blog to find out the difference: https://buff.ly/3y5krBR

27/06/2022

Thinking of holding your wedding in a public park? Don't forget to seek permission.

24/06/2022

Sage advice on how to pick the right wedding music.

Do you want your partner to be looking this relaxed before your marriage ceremony?

The trick is to get the music right. How do you get it right?

❤️As your guests start to arrive, mingle and take their seats, play gentle music in the background to create a relaxed atmosphere.
❤️Remeber to include songs that the groom/bride likes to help calm their nerves while they are waiting.

"Your partner can enter to music that reflects their personality; they can add a bit of fun such as 'Another one bites the dust'."
Celebrants Aotearoa celebrant

If you are looking for more advice about your wedding ceremony, a Celebrants Aotearoa marriage celebrant, of your choice, can facilitate your wedding ceremony and can help make your ceremony as personal and meaningful to you as possible.

❤️Find a celebrant of your choice here: https://www.celebrantsaotearoa.co.nz/.../find-a-celebrant/

12/06/2022

One day each of us may have to tell someone a loved one has died. Some good advice here from Celebrants Aotearoa on how to approach it.

How to tell a close family member that a loved one has died

Telling a close family member that a loved one has died is never easy, for both you and them.

If possible, try to tell them face to face.

If you cannot be with them and have to phone, ensure that they have someone they trust close to them that will allow them the space to deal with the news and provide the comfort they need.

Once they receive the news, it is best to remain quiet to give them the space to process the information or just in case you say the wrong thing.

Everyone reacts differently.

Some people want their own space to deal with the news; others want comfort, and in very traumatic circumstances, some will be distraught, confused or even angry. A wide range of emotions may present themselves.

To read more about how to inform loved ones, friends and the community, click here:

https://buff.ly/3GW7T3O

09/06/2022

How can a celebrant help you with a naming ceremony?

How can a celebrant help us with a naming ceremony?

A naming ceremony is a perfect opportunity to celebrate the newest member of your family, whether a new baby, an adopted family member or an older step-child.

How can a celebrant help us?

Prior to the day, your celebrant of choice will meet with you to discuss ways to personalise your naming ceremony. Your ceremony will then be written by your celebrant using elements that are significant to you and your family.

Many people choose to personalise a naming ceremony with a symbolic act – like planting a tree, lighting a candle, or having a family member recite a poem or sing a song. Other things you could include are:

👶Readings, poems or music
👶A story about the child - their arrival into the world, their personality, quirks or interests
👶Your promises to your child
👶The appointment of guide parents or Godparents
👶The significance of their name

Whatever you choose to include, your celebrant can help craft and perform a ceremony full of meaning and symbolism.

Find a celebrant of your choice here: https://buff.ly/3mg3tem