02/01/2022
BAKIT NGA BA MAHIRAP MAGMAHAL NG ISANG KADETE?
“Behind every strong soldier, there is an even stronger woman who stands by him, supports him, and loves him with all her heart.” –unknown
I was scanning through my Instagram account until I stopped on a picture story of a cadet whom I followed recently. It was a screenshot of a conversation with his girl friend asking him, “Bakit mahirap magmahal ng isang Kadete?” And he answered her, “Ewan ko. hindi ko pa na-try.” His retort to his friend made me chuckle. Haha Pero BAKIT NGA BA MAHIRAP MAGMAHAL NG ISANG KADETE?
There are many reasons for you to think twice before entering a relationship with a cadet. If you are already in a relationship with a cadet here are the reasons why we think that it is so hard to love them and why we think na minsan parang “hanggang dito na lang ba?”, “hindi na ata niya ako mahal.”, “may iba na yata siya.” So before you drown out of your thoughts and make a decision that you will regret:
1. Hindi mo siya nakakasama parati
This is the number one reason. Yes, they may have privs but sometimes, their upper class men will ask them to do something that will make you wait for hours. Kinain na lang yung visiting hours at priv niya, naghintay ka pa sa wala. Minsan sa mga priv pa na yan, kasama niyo pa yung family nya then siyempre hindi mo naman siya pwedeng solohin kailangan niya din ng time with his family.
Kung bibisitahin mo naman siya doon, hindi din kayo makakapag usap ng matagal, 30minutes to one hour na ang maximum. The worst kapag busy pa sila noong pumunta ka.
2. Ang tagal niyang magreply (minsan abot isang linggo)
Kapag Plebe or 4 CL cadet, they are really prohibited to use gadgets or communicate outside unless it was authorized. It occurs only on the instances na may kailangan siyang ipadala or kailangan niya kayong i-invite kasi may event and need niya na makita kayo. Iyon lang yung allowed.
Do not worry, allowed naman na sila to have a phone once they stepped in to Yearling. Logging in and out of their phones during regular corps for upper class men (yearling, cows, imaaculate) are still in forced. So minsan huwag ka ng magtaka kung yung message mo ng linggo ng gabi, sabado niya na ulit next week masagot. Tatawag naman siya kapag may time at hawak nila ang phone, you don’t have to worry so much.
3. Hindi ikaw priority niya
Kaliwa’t kanang responsibilidad ang nakapatong sa mga balikat nila. First, they are there to train how to efficiently lead a team. The team which he will be leading will serve the country. Sobrang bigat na responsibility.
Priority na niya yung pangarap niya na makapagsilbi sa bayan at bansa natin. Bawat patak ng oras nila mahalaga. They have hourly duties, they have academics to attend to, they have drills to perform. Minsan kahit naka-priv yan.. Iyong trabaho niyang naiwan sa loob yung maalala niya at hindi ikaw.
4. May sarili na siyang direction, ikaw hinhanap mo pa lang yung para sa’yo
Pagiging military na yung pinili niyang profession. Aminin man natin o hindi, alam natin sa sarili natin that he is already stable. Financial and his career is already stabilized.
Ikaw bilang Kaydet girl or Officer’s girl, my iba sa atin, nag aaral pa. Or professional na din pero nandoon pa rin yung feeling na parang wala kang direksyon sa kinalalagyan mo. Feeling mo kulang pa kumpara sa nagawa niya. Minsan maiintimidate ka na lang kay Cadet kasi buti pa siya alam na niya iyong direksyon na gusto niyang tahakin.
5. Mahirap talaga magmahal ng kadete lalo na kung alam mong maraming hunter ang hina-hunt siya.
Maraming babae ang maiinggit sa iyo and that’s a fact. Maraming girls na dumadayo to hunt for cadets na madaling bumigay sa tukso. Oopss. I am sorry if there will be offensive statements and I may be harsh on this part but I want to tell the awful truth. Yung iba kasing girl hunters diyan, minsan habol nila yung fame na nakadikit sa pangalan ni cadet dahil nga nasa Academy siya. Yung iba naman, financial. Yung iba, materials. Madaming rason kung bakit sila nagha-hunt. But ito yung isa sa nagpapahirap at nakakasira ng relasyon ng kadete sa KG niya.
6. They learned how to be tough that they can’t express their real emotions to you
Kahit magdrama ka, kahit magalit ka sa kanya o awayin mo siya para lang lambingin ka, wala ka mapapala.
Magalit ka, sige. Magtampo ka, sige. Pero hindi hihinto ang buhay nila bilang kadete. Hindi na niya madalas masasabi yung i miss you, i love you o gusto kitang makasama. Minsan kapag nag inarte ka pa, he will ask you direct to the point na, “ayaw mo na ba?” Pero mahal ka niyan. Remember: hindi nagsasayang ng oras ang mga kadete sa mga walang kwentang bagay. Hirap lang talaga sila mag express ng sweetness kasi they are trained to be emotionally tough.
Ano’t ano pa man ang dahilan kung bakit naging mahirap magmahal ng isang kadete, everything will all boil down to these two words: PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING. Kung sako sako ng pasensya at pag unawa yung baon nila sa pagpasok sa loob, dapat sa iyo unlimited patience snd understanding iyong walang expiry date.
No matter how cold or busy they’ve become, you will remain in his heart. Love him unconditionally. Trust, patience, understanding, courage and faith are your gears in this battle. Accept that he changed and you too might as well embrace some changes in your life. The qoute above says it all. We have to show that we are fearless and that we are strong to handle this relationship. You gotta be strong for your cadet.
“Loving a military man is not hard. The distance id hard, the worry is hard, the sacrifices are hard. But.. Loving him is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”—-unknown
(Photo from Trueffa)
(Originally published on Proud Military Girl)
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