01/29/2016
Our personalities and our deeply ingrained habits of being are simply not available for traditional change. Our emotional triggers, our reactivity, the ways in which we go blank and defensive, are also difficult to change. Realistically, they require a complicated blending of commitment to working toward individual growth and a radical acceptance of human nature -- that we are all on the island of misfit toys. Everyone is broken and too complicated to fully understand and manage. We CAN change the amount of time we spend lovingly attending to each other. We cannot change the reality that the process of intimacy is powerfully, emotionally complex. We can change many of our habits of behavior and thought, but much about who we are and who our partners are is simply to fundamental to change.
The Relationship Check-Up that I offer uses this philosophy to assist couples to focus on the strengths in their relationship and accept one another for who they are!