Red Neck Golf Association By-laws
(Adopted June 5, 2013; Amended July 29, 2014, October 19, 2015)
Article 1. Name: The name of the organization shall be the Red Neck Golf Association “RNGA”. Purpose: To give individuals the opportunity to escape their lives several days at a time and to provide them with some reason to live. RNGA is an equal opportunity association. Unless you are from Massachuse
tts. No one from Massachusetts will ever be permitted. Gender: Only individuals born as males, and who continue to be males, shall be eligible to participate in RNGA events. Let’s be honest, women are horrible at golf. (Sorry Caitlyn Jenner.) Conduct: RNGA members shall conduct themselves in a manner representative of the RNGA. This includes, but is not limited to:
1. Substance Abuse: Illegal substances are banned from all RNGA play; unless you bring enough to share.
2. Ladies of the Night: See Article 4, subsection 1.
3. Alcohol: If you drink don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
4. Levity: Crude jokes about former “love interests” are required. Should you not have a former love interest, one will be provided.
5. Excuses: Excuses about one’s play are not required but are strongly recommended. Remember, poor play is not your fault, it is someone else’s. We are all scratch golfers that are having bad days… perpetually.
6. Punctuality: Show the F*** up on time. If this is a problem, get a F****** watch.
7. Alcohol: Just kidding about Subsection 3. RNGA members should, at a minimum, remain drunk enough at all times to be in a state that allows them to solve all of the world’s problems and then promptly forget the solutions, which will allow them to solve the same problems again the following day. If you choose not to drink. Wait, why would you choose not to drink?! Sobriety never got anyone to A.A.
8. Safety: Grip your shaft with both hands just before playing with your balls. Failure to do so properly may result in blindness.
9. Troy Tribbit Award (Formerly known as the "Dave Brown Award"): When Troy quits after hole #7 and heads to the bar, don’t be surprised. He has never finished anything in his life.
10. Delaware: Persons from Delaware should be treated with caution. They have nothing to live for and therefore are dangerous and unpredictable.
11. Max: When Max brags about how far he hit a drive, promptly remind him that it was his second or third attempt.
12. Manner Unbecoming: Members that fail to act in accordance with the standards of the RNGA shall be disciplined by RNGA Leadership and may be subject to expulsion. Article 5. Legislative Procedure:
1. There will not be any voting on any issue as the HMFIC has total and complete authority.
2. The Vice HMFIC shall enjoy all authority of the HMFIC but is subject to overrule by the HMFIC at any time. In the absence of the HMFIC, the Vice HMFIC shall assume all authority of the HMFIC. Article 6. Quorum: No quorum required, see Article 5. Article 7. Offices:
1. Leadership: Leadership of the RNGA is guided by the HMFIC and the Vice HMFIC to be determined by complaints.
2. Chairman of the Security Council: The Chairman of the Security Council shall be responsible for enforcing the decisions made by the HMFIC and the Vice HMFIC.
3. Secretary of Foreign Affairs: The Secretary of the Foreign Affairs shall be a resident of Delaware and will have the informal title as “Secretary of the 1st State.”
4. Scoring Chair: The Scoring Chair shall, at the discretion of RNGA Leadership, enforce all matters related to game play scoring. Article 8. Compensation: Compensation for the officers is on the “buddy” system. It is incumbent upon each member of the RNGA to purchase an adult beverage for each officer at least once during every event. If you do not consider either officer a buddy, we are not sure why you were invited. Article 9. Penalty: Failure to adhere to the aforementioned requirements, or if you put fruit in a beer, will result in revocation of one’s man card. If the infraction is severe in nature you will be named HMFIC. If you have an accomplice they may be named Vice HMFIC. Article 10: Green Jacket
1. At the conclusion of the second day of the Annual RNGA outing, RNGA members in good standing are to vote on the recipient of that year’s Green Jacket.
2. All members of the RNGA in good standing are eligible to win. Should the vote not be to the liking of the HMFIC and the Vice HMFIC, they will manipulate the election results to their liking. This is how they vote in North Korea and we kind of like that.
3. Qualifications: Quality of play does not determine who will win. This is evident by previous winners of the jacket.
4. Champions Dinner: On the opening evening of the Annual RNGA outing, there is to be a champions’ dinner held in the honor of current holder of the Green Jacket. While a speech is not required, it is preferable. Especially after drinking all day. Article 11. Spicy Hot Wings, to be known as the “Ryan Strandlund Rule”. Should a member of the RNGA feel the need to prove their manhood by consuming copious amounts of spicy food, that member’s roommate is entitled to force that member to sleep outside. It is only fair. Article 12. Charity: There is to be a charity entitled the “Red Neck Golf Association Foundation.” The purpose of the foundation is to raise funds at each RNGA event to donate to a charity of the choice of the winner of that year’s Green Jacket.
