Wanderlust Counseling

Wanderlust Counseling Wanderlust Counseling is a nature/wilderness-based private practice counseling center located in Est

Merry Light Days!I’ll be out of office until January 6th and look forward to continuing to be a light in the dark on you...
12/25/2024

Merry Light Days!

I’ll be out of office until January 6th and look forward to continuing to be a light in the dark on your human-spirit journeys when I return.

Hope is the intermediary between old and new beliefs.Maybe you can see that beliefs are just repeated thought that have ...
12/13/2024

Hope is the intermediary between old and new beliefs.

Maybe you can see that beliefs are just repeated thought that have become ingrained into your identity, but your not ready to let go, or maybe you can but you can’t yet see or feel the new, the possibility of freedom. Hope, is the intermediary, moving us forward from dismay into “yes, I believe that might be possible”. Hope is the salve to worry. The ointment of healing.

The most powerful question we can ask ourselves is, “How is this happening for me?”While this question is thrown away by...
11/01/2024

The most powerful question we can ask ourselves is, “How is this happening for me?”

While this question is thrown away by some as too woo or too spiritual, that is perhaps a sign that person is still trapped in a victim mindset. Many of is are, without even realizing it. We believe life happens to us, that we have no control over our stories, or attempt to believe we do by adopting perfectionist and externally controlling tendencies. Yet true control is over our thoughts, the stories we tell ourselves about what happens. True power comes from inside of us.

In the end, I don’t know if it really matters if an experience does or does not have inherent meaning. What does matter is the meaning we give it, if we decide to use the experience to step into our light even more.

You are only truly conscious if you are in a state of love.****I work with a lot of clients who are very “self-aware”… t...
10/20/2024

You are only truly conscious if you are in a state of love.

****
I work with a lot of clients who are very “self-aware”… they can describe to me their habits, their wounds, and their stories of pain and trauma. Yet they still judge themselves. What I ultimately try to help clients see is that anytime they feel they have acted in a way they believe is wrong, is because they were acting from the wound and the suppressed emotion underneath it. I help clients see the root of their wounds, that almost always stemmed in childhood, to help them unravel from their stories. Ultimately, this is all to increase self-compassion, which is the gateway to consciousness and Love.

There will always be pain when the story you are telling yourself is too small for the life that your soul wants to live...
10/16/2024

There will always be pain when the story you are telling yourself is too small for the life that your soul wants to live.

Like a crab that has grown on the inside but the shell wasn’t shed, remaining small and tight, attempting to cram in what had grown. The shell that was once protection is now a source of great pain.*

*It might not make sense to our logical brain, but to our primal brain it makes complete sense for a child to create a story about being too much or not enough, so that they the could fit in (and be loved) by their family (and feel safe). This story was a protection, but now that the soul has expanded and is capable of witnessing and loving itself, the old story/protection of not being enough is painful.

Liberation is a state of mind, when we set ourselves free of the stories, the shells, that trap our souls’ expansion. After a failure, we can create a story that we failed because we are not good enough, or we create a story that we had a great experience and found something that didn’t work for us. Achievement can be an even bigger trap, telling ourselves we are enough only after we have reached success, setting up for a series of highs and lows throughout our life. When a loved one dies, especially young, we could create a story about how god is cruel and doesn’t care about us, or we can create a story about how lucky we are that we had a chance to stand in that person’s life, and perhaps create more meaning and beauty in our own earthly lives.

Therefore, we hold the key to our own liberation. Even in events outside of our control, we can tell the story of what happened in any narrative we choose. We can aspire to our earthly dreams and not reach them, but still find joy and love in the experience. We are the master of ourselves, the creators of our beliefs, and the writers of our life.
We may not control fate, but we have the power to create the story that gets told, and in doing so, we open up the doors to destiny.

Be yourself. Be authentic. Just be you.Great advice…… the problem is, most of us don’t know who we really are. We don’...
10/10/2024

Be yourself. Be authentic. Just be you.

Great advice…

… the problem is, most of us don’t know who we really are. We don’t know how to authentic or how to trust our intuition.

And this is to no fault of our own. From ages 0 to 7, we’re in a brain state similar to hypnosis, and we’re just soaking in our environment. The message we take in, or the meaning we make about events we don’t understand, aren’t consciously accepted. They become our subconscious. So even as we get older and we reject the fear-based religious teachings passed down to us, or say that our parents divorce didn’t affect us, or refuse to pay homage to a materialistic society … well, that’s great, but the problem is, those things weren’t necessarily the problem (I mean they were, but not in the obvious way.) The bigger challenge is the subconscious wiring, the shame-based beliefs we took on about not being enough, feeling unworthy of love, and feeling certain something is wrong with us.

The good news is that we can, with some committed effort and adamant love (therapy isn’t required, but it sure helps to have someone on your team), unravel ourselves from those beliefs. Triggers will often lead us to the wound, giving us the opportunity to re-parent ourselves through fears and big emotions. And in the unraveling, in remembering who we were before love was first invalidated, we return home to ourselves. Finally free of the stories running our behavior, we can once again be our authentic selves.

We can love our human selves and all the emotions we are capable of feelinging while also remembering we are spiritual b...
09/12/2024

We can love our human selves and all the emotions we are capable of feelinging while also remembering we are spiritual beings. In that sense, we can be in grief while holding ourselves in a space of love.

***

I have had more conversations than I can count with my mentors on therapy-spirituality topics. Good thing my mentors are patient, because I have a lot of questions. A recent one went something like, “Well Eckhart Tolle just said to ignore our thoughts because we are not our thoughts and we don’t want to give them more energy* but in therapy and parts work we are working directly with our thoughts and emotions. What are we supposed to do?!?” (Insert frustrated grunt) I think I ended that one with, “Well, at least we are honoring our human selves.”

*I am probably very mis-paraphrasing Eckhart Tolle.

As usual, the answer (I believe) lies somewhere in the middle. It is true that we are not our thoughts. Most of our subconscious thoughts were learned in childhood through experiences we had no control over. Unexamined, they often direct our adult lives without our knowing. So first, we do actually have to become conscious of the thoughts running through our mind. The key is not to get attached to our thoughts, to identify with them, but instead to be curious about them. This is the basic practice of mindfulness. When we can question our thoughts from the place of the observer rather than identify with the thought (or emotion), the thoughts can loosen their hold on us. And if we follow them from this place, they often unlock stored emotions and pain we’ve been holding on to since childhood. This release can lead to greater unification with our spiritual selves.

While we can skip over this part with spiritual practices...we can manifest what we want or quantum shift into new reality...and it can feel good, it can still often be from a place of lack, or using power from an unhealed place. It’s not bad, it can just keep us from accessing our true potential as a spirit-human.

# mindfulness

Trust and safety is one of the biggest themes I explore with clients. Ultimately, the heart of trust and safety having ...
08/28/2024

Trust and safety is one of the biggest themes I explore with clients. Ultimately, the heart of trust and safety having nothing to do with the external and everything to do with the internal and our own connecting with the light and love within us.

*If you are a parent reading this and have done this before, don’t fear! Children readily accept repair…you get to both ...
08/26/2024

*If you are a parent reading this and have done this before, don’t fear! Children readily accept repair…you get to both apologize and try again the next time your child has big emotions.

**This might take days, weeks, to months for some of us. If we’ve been really good at stuffing our pain down throughout our lives, this wounded part may take time to gain trust in us again.

Whether you’re in a disagreement over politics with a family member, in an argument with your partner, or parts of yours...
08/14/2024

Whether you’re in a disagreement over politics with a family member, in an argument with your partner, or parts of yourself are in conflict with one another, this is the most important thing to remember: We’re on the same team.

The result might be moving on from the conversation, continuing it after a pause, or setting firmer boundaries (I don’t give my energy to people who aren’t willing to to be open minded with me, but I can love them through my very strong boundary).

Our minds and fear try to separate us. But when we come back into our hearts, we always know that love is there to connect us.

And all the wildflowers are screaming, “We love you! We love you! We love you! You are loved! You are loved! You are lo...
08/05/2024

And all the wildflowers are screaming, “We love you! We love you! We love you! You are loved! You are loved! You are loved!”

Now pause. Feel that. Embody the love of every flower, every blade in of grass, every needle on the pine shouting to you that you are loved, sending you their divine energy. Feel the glow of the sun wrapped around you like a warm golden blanket. Feel it in every cell of your being. Because that is how loved you truly are.

Changing your mind doesn’t mean you were wrong. Or, even if it does, it certainly doesn’t mean anything is wrong with y...
07/27/2024

Changing your mind doesn’t mean you were wrong. Or, even if it does, it certainly doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. I know that sounds obvious, but truly, that is what so many of us believe and I why we hold on so hard to being right. Being right protects us from feeling shame and holds up the sense of our ego’s worthiness. Yet allowing us to change our mind allows us to be flexible, to grow, and to be free from our ego identity. It also allows us to be vulnerable and connect with other people. Admitting where we didn’t have something quite right is truly an honorable act.

As my clients so beautifully reminded me this year, there is value in being “stuck” and not rushing out of it. Because ...
07/26/2024

As my clients so beautifully reminded me this year, there is value in being “stuck” and not rushing out of it. Because when we rush our healing, we usually end right back in the cocoon, sometimes with more to release. Remember, love is patient, fear rushes.

It is this phase, the liminal phase of transition, that inspired me to name my counseling practice “Wanderlust Counseling”. Because there is beauty in the darkness, this stage where we are simply wandering and exploring, not forcing change or trying to rush to the mythical destination. It is about acceptance of where we are at now, who we are now, and allowing love to wrap its cloak around us. We actually don’t have to do anything. We don’t have to figure anything out, fix anything, read the entire self-help section at the library...we just have to relax, let go, and take care of (love) ourselves. When it is time to move and emerge (which can take months to years, longer if we try to force change) your heart (not your mind, the part of you that wants to get out of feeling stuck) will let you know.

So lay back. Enjoy life. Allow your transformation to happen.

So many of us are quite mean to ourselves. Much meaner than we would ever be to another person (at least to their face)...
07/24/2024

So many of us are quite mean to ourselves. Much meaner than we would ever be to another person (at least to their face). We call this tough love and think we will get better and feel happier because of it! In truth, criticism and judgement can only ever keep us small, keep us confined exactly where we are at, or perhaps even dim our light even more. Yet love, unconditional love, is what can heal wounds. At first, it may FEEL like we are not growing, but remember, love is patient and consistent. With continued love, we get to blossom into our true selves, not the ego versions we’ve been pretending to be.
Love, my dear, is the healing rain that waters your roots and will allow for your greatest potential.

I love a good paradox, and this is perhaps the best of them all: You must accept yourself fully, and then you may change...
07/24/2024

I love a good paradox, and this is perhaps the best of them all: You must accept yourself fully, and then you may change.

If you’re like me and can get a little too logical, I would drop the change part all together and just focus on accepting yourself more. Yep, all your flaws, mistakes, perceived short-comings, all the ways you feel like you’re not good enough. (With that, if you’re currently acting out in negative ways, like you keep stealing money from your parents, stop that. But you can forgive and accept yourself for doing so in the past.). Accept, love, accept, love. Love your wounded parts, accept your humanness. That is really all you have to do.

(The first book I read on paradox was Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.)

I have spent years going to school for counseling, reading countless self-help books, listening to podcast, going to the...
07/23/2024

I have spent years going to school for counseling, reading countless self-help books, listening to podcast, going to therapy, etc. It all helped, some. It gave me hope, allowed me to see how childhood wounds were manifesting in my adult life, gave me some great tools, and brought me to where I am now… back to love. And it ultimately has been Love, loving myself unconditionally and loving my humanness, that has brought the most healing.

This knowledge doesn’t necessarily change but it certainly shifts the way I practice therapy. As a therapist, my main objective is to love my clients, especially the parts of themselves they find faulty, in hopes that they, You, can love yourself more, too.

The ego mind is meant to figure out life challenges or situations, nor do we incessantly need to figure ourselves out to...
07/05/2024

The ego mind is meant to figure out life challenges or situations, nor do we incessantly need to figure ourselves out to heal or be better. That, in itself, is an illusion we believe in.
No, the mind isn’t supposed to be the driver of our life… that is the responsibility of the soul.

This card is from my twin sister, who obviously gets me and loves ☀️🤣💛But really… don’t just accept you are sunshine dre...
07/03/2024

This card is from my twin sister, who obviously gets me and loves ☀️🤣💛

But really… don’t just accept you are sunshine dressed in stardust, hailed from Light. Fu***ng own it.

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1230 Big Thompson Avenue
Estes Park, CO
80517

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