07/04/2024
🇺🇸 Happy July 4th! To celebrate, we’re giving Sam Eagle from The Muppets the entire 63,206-character limit of this post to compose an ode to the USA. Take it away, Sam! 🇺🇸
Pardon me! Only 63,206 characters? How can you expect me to capture the magnificent spirit of this great land in a MERE 63,206 characters!?
What of my lengthy stanza on the Declaration of Independence? How could I adequately describe the grandeur of purple mountain majesties let alone amber waves of grain? Perhaps you failed to realize that I devoted an entire section to enumerating each and every state bird across the nation? It was alphabetized!
Why…uh…how…well…hrmph… How long is 63,206 characters anyway?
Well, I suppose I’ll just say:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!
Sincerely,
Sam Eagle