My Cancer Victory.com

06/06/2021

Yesterday, June 5th, marked 24 years since my mother died of cancer. When you fight the same disease that killed your mother it occupies your mind.
Ironically today, June 6th, is National Cancer survivor day. I was going to write “I did nothing special” while sitting in my apartment in Tokyo while working on my 12th Olympics after my 4th bout of cancer but it didn’t seem right. It wasn’t my intent to brag saying that but a realization. Then I remembered something I told my father on the phone and mentioned in an online cancer group about 12 years ago. “Cancer is going to be a chapter in my life and not the whole story”. I get credit for that online. Google it. I did tonight and found the website Parade put me at number 70 on the “101 Inspirational and Uplifting Quotes to Encourage Hope in Cancer Patients”. I got beat out by the likes of Mother Teresa, Psalm 46:1, Franklin Roosevelt and Winnie the Pooh. However I did finish ahead of Helen Keller, Maya Angelou, Thomas Edison and Martin Luther King. I know it’s a joke. But still there I am. Something I spoke 12 years ago lives on. A cancer survivor in its own right.
Maybe this is the ding I leave in the universe that Steve Jobs spoke about. Or more importantly maybe I am honoring those who have and will leave before me. Like my mother. Either way I’m ok.

https://parade.com/1178471/michelleparkerton/inspirational-cancer-quotes/

02/23/2021

All is good but back in the chair today. I get an immunotherapy chemo treatment every 2 months to keep the bad stuff away.
The tube hanging out of my shirt has a needle on the other end that goes into my port. The port is a bump under the skin in my chest. That port has a line into a vein. That line goes all the way into a chamber in my heart. That’s the most efficient way to get the drug all through my body.
There’s your cancer trivia for today. We’ll play again in 2 months.

12/26/2020

Life is good. Merry Christmas!

12/22/2020

Coke, Doritos and Demirol. Must be a Chemo Tuesday. It’s like Taco Tuesday but with Gazyva.
The Benadryl will kick in soon and I’ll sleep a bunch. I was just joking with the head nurse that they probably take pictures of me while I sleep and post them online. Some possible hashtags included;

10/27/2020

I swear I’m smiling under the mask. It just doesn’t show in my eyes. 😄 I know the reason I’m here isn’t good but the folks here are so friendly and happy. When you have to sit in the chair you just make the best of it. It also makes me feel good to be doing something to keep it away.
Happy Tuesday everyone I’m going to take my Benadryl nap now.

10/26/2020

Life has been good. Life just like many of the rest of you. I got to coach my son's cross country team again which was cool. Tomorrow I go for a maintenance chemo. Not looking forward to it but look less forward to cancer coming back so we roll with it.
This popped up on one of the cancer groups on Facebook. It's not really for everyone but maybe there is someone out there that needs it. It's a Charlie Brown show where one of Linus's friends gets Leukemia. There maybe someone out there that could use it so I thought I would share,
https://archive.org/details/why-charlie-brown-why

VHS transfer

10/06/2020

Been a long time since I posted. The cancer is what we call NED, no evidence of disease. I'm clean but still doing maintenance treatments to keep it that way.
Why am I posting? It was 9 years ago today that Steve Jobs died of cancer. I was getting chemo when a friend called and told me. It was also 9 years ago today that my friend Cam from the Vancouver Olympics was getting a new heart. Cam had cancer years before so we kind of bonded. Cam died later of cancer that was allowed to reappear because of the immune system suppressing drug needed for his new heart to work.
In 10 days it will be my mom's birthday. She's been gone for 23 years.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For some of us it's always cancer awareness month. It's also cancer awareness week and day. There is not a day it does not enter our mind. We look in the mirror and see reminders. We do our best to close our mouth but hints sneak out. That extra little bit of sadness, frustration and even happiness. Nothing is taken for granted.
I know a good writing should have a conclusion. Wrap up all the thoughts and clarify the point. I don't have one. I just felt the need to let you in the corner of my mind. I guess also in a way to let Steve Jobs, Cam, Mac, Stewart, Josh's dad, Suz, Mom, Uncle Marty, Uncle John, Grandpa and Grandma Mazur and all the others know they are not forgotten. I do my best every day to know how lucky I am.

09/02/2020

I’m selling my droid. Works great, just updated its firmware and memory. Selling because we got a cat and they don’t get along. Make me an offer.

It’s actually the machine that pumps the tiny amount of radiation in me for my PET/CT scan. It’s not much radiation unless you’re the guy who has to inject radiation all day so they invented this machine.
Expecting good results today. It’s just a “routine” scan for me.

08/20/2020

I was first to the chemo room this morning. The chairs are arranged like that for distancing but I got my pick. Looks like I may be the last to leave too.
I don’t think anyone can ever say they enjoy chemo but you can say you enjoy doing something about a problem.
Again, as far as we know there is no cancer. This is to keep it away. This is my choice in life. It’s the same choice a lot of other people have to make. Unfortunately there are a lot of folks who don’t get that choice any more.

08/20/2020

I've been busy. Busy with mostly good things.
I have been, at a minimum, walking 1 mile a day since January 1st. Some days I get to run. That's what has me so excited and sorry this may be long.
I had a goal of doing a mile under 9 minutes before my next chemo. I knew it would be hard but I had till September 10th. So last Thursday I went and saw my oncologist because I am not satisfied with my energy levels. He agreed to look into some things in my bloodwork. We know I have the bloodwork of a cancer patient in treatment but he agreed to look deeper. HOWEVER he also told me studies showed that the maintenance treatment I am doing shows better results and is approved to do every 2 months. So treatment got moved up to what is now tomorrow.
So I ran last Monday in my neighborhood, with some hills, and did a mile in 9:37. That meant I had 2 days to take 37+ seconds off to meet my goal. I knew it wasn't realistic but I also knew I could find a flatter place. Sooooo this morning I hit the track at the high school. A nice flat rubberized track. Temps were better and humidity not too bad than we have had lately. I walked a half mile to warm up, took my asthma meds and gave it my best shot. Whatever it was it was. You don't always make goals but you keep going. You try again.
I knew I needed to do better than 2:15 per quarter mile. First quarter was 2:12. I thought to myself it would be tough to make it if that stayed my pace. No break at the ¼ mile mark with an ever so slight increase in my stride. Half mile was 4:20 something. All I cared was that I was under 4:30. I took a very short walk to catch my breath and then took off. I matched my old pace and then on the back stretch increased my stride ever so slightly again. I have no idea what my split was at ¾'s but it was under the math I had been doing in my head. I took about 5 or 10 walking steps then took back off again. When I was about halfway through the final turn I opened up. It was hard but I told myself to just go like hell and accept whatever it was. I was never so happy to hear that ding in my headphones telling me I was done. I looked down and saw I was under 9 and tried to breath. It wasn't till I walked a bit before I could look at my phone for my official mile time, 8:28. I almost cried. Hell let's by honest I kind of did but just a little. I could not believe what I did.
Tomorrow is chemo. Friday is rest, but I will still walk my mile both days. Saturday I don't know what I'll do but it will be the official start of me going after sub 8. I have only done that one other time since high school.

06/02/2020

Maintenance treatment today to keep the bad cells away.
I have 75mg of Benadryl in me going to see how long I can stay awake. 😄

03/10/2020

Hello old friend.
Getting a maintenance (chemo lite) treatment today to make sure it stays away.

01/19/2020

I am still, at a minimum, walking a mile a day this year. Today I ran 3.1 miles with the wife. They say the more you do something the easier it gets. Recovering from chemo is not one of them. It's been months and I am still whining. 🙂 Plus apparently at the same time I am getting older.

There is always someone that has it better than you and there is always someone that has it worse than you. ----Me

12/13/2019

Here’s a riddle for you. How can you tell when someone is a cancer survivor?

My son is going through Confirmation in the Catholic Church. When you do that you need another Catholic as a sponsor. Someone to discuss your life and your faith with. I set my son up with a friend from when we had a cancer support group at church. I’ll call him Bryan. Bryan was not born Catholic. If I remember correctly he joined after the major part of his cancer fight was over. I say major part because he had stage 4 esophageal cancer. Most of those folks live about 2 years. Bryan just past his 11 year mark. Like me he was a nasty stage 4. The doctors removed 75% of his esophagus and about 50% of his stomach. Bryan can’t eat anything without thinking first for the rest of his life. “Rest of his life”, that’s an interesting phrase. Anyway I picked Bryan because he is Catholic by choice not by birth and because I like him. Cancer aside I like how he lives his life.

Last Saturday Bryan and Jay met for lunch and to talk. Jay and I met Bryan at the door of the restaurant and of course we chatted for a bit catching up. He’s doing well. I was doing ok but feeling a little rough from the maintenance chemo a couple days before but good. We talked about the truck Bryan sold me and a few other things. I can’t remember exactly how the conversion went but the phrase “we’re getting old” was used. We both smiled and chuckled. It is such an honor to grow old. Something I still think too few understand.

How can you tell when someone is a cancer survivor?
They smile when they say they are getting old.

12/06/2019

Today was a chemo day. Yes I am in “full remission” but in order to keep it there I get what they call maintenance treatments. It’s a 4 hour process that I mostly sleep through. They give me a huge dose of Benadryl at the start to pretreat for any side effects.
So below is my trusty chemo bag. I got it from the NBA years ago. I keep my special blanket, drugs and entertainment in it. I also included pictures of the chemo pole. They all have bells on them. Also the guy sitting next to me turned 75 and apparently got good news today. The nurses sang happy birthday to him.
So yeah that’s my life. For now. Next year you’ll have to deal with pictures of me in Tokyo.

11/06/2019

I know I am hitting many of you twice but I believe in this organization. They really do help folks. Almost 100% makes it to the patients, like really close, maybe 99.9%.

Pennies With Purpose is a 501c3 dedicated to helping cancer patients at a local level. Any cancer patient knows that treatments can get very expensive while at the same time there can be costs for copays, parking and other small out of pocket expenses that add up. Pennies With Purpose’s mission is...

11/01/2019

I couldn't be at the World Series this year because I am in Tokyo getting some things started for the Olympics next year. It's nice to know people think about me. Thanks JT I am honored.

09/25/2019

I'm enjoying that "full remission" these days. I have spent some time looking back over the last ten years. Good thoughts mostly. I remember one time years ago, probably after the first or second bout, I asked my oncologist, "How do you deal with the people that die?" His response was, "I just know I did all I could and have to be ok with that" or something very close to that. As I look at the path I have been down and what he has done for me I have to wonder how he also deals with the people he has saved or greatly extended their life. From my perspective it's almost magic that he, and other oncologists perform. How do they not get a god complex? The highs and lows oncologists and the others in those offices see has to be extreme. I have seen some of those things but no every single day. It has to be an unbelievable emotional roller coaster. God bless them and whatever else gets them through it.

09/19/2019

Can’t even read the article. Look at that picture.

A mom's powerful social media post shows the siblings often forgotten on the journey.

08/31/2019

My oncologist called Wednesday. He had my PET scan results. He said it was so clean it was boring. No sign of cancer anywhere. Immunotherapy was tough for me both physically and mentally but it did it’s job. Yes this is wonderful news and yes I am excited. Thursday we talked details. In December I start maintenance Rituxan. It’s a pretty easy treatment that is designed to keep the cancer away. The hope is to extend my remission beyond the 630 day reoccurrence my body has gotten use to. My oncologist believes they are looking at a Car T Cell Therapy for my kind of cancer “in the near future”. THIS is the exciting part. For the first time in 10 years we are looking at a possible cure for me. I swear to God I didn’t cry. I’ve gotten very good at not crying.
After that appointment I ran 2 x 1 mile with the Cross Country team and then ran/walked 3 miles with my wife that night.
Life is good.

PS I asked a lady to take a picture of me after my results and she took it while I was talking to her son about his cancer. That’s the only shot she took. 😄

08/27/2019

It’s PET scan Tuesday! Everyone pick there favorite photo from their scan, apply your favorite filter and post. No explaining just the photo.
That’s 90% sarcasm. Sick of all this crap today. So yes I have bad days but if you actually have a scan photo slap a filter on it and make me smile.

08/21/2019

This is one of those posts I'm writing so it will leave my head. It's also one of those posts that hopefully helps you understand that other person you know going through cancer.

When you are doing Watch and Wait you try to convince yourself you are just doing life as normal. "I feel fine" comes out of your mouth a lot or even just floats inside your head trying to convince yourself.

Then you start treatment. You work to convince yourself you'll feel better tomorrow and in some cases you are. But there is thing constantly going at you. It's a bit dramatic but let's say everyday you wake up and someone punches you. Then periodically throughout the day they punch you a few more times. Some days they punch you more than others. Other days you realize you are hardly getting punched.
Then you get some help and and you punch back. You're still getting punched but at least you are hitting back. Finally months later the fighting is over. You win. You're sore as hell but you know that the beatings are over. Life is back to normal? What was normal again? While you were busy fighting back everything else kept going. Life. There is stuff everywhere to do. Where do you start? How long do you stop to enjoy the end of the fighting? What comes first? You're still sore too.

Maybe look at it this way. When you climb Mount Everest how long do you stand there and enjoy your accomplishment and the view? If you wait too long you'll have problems getting back to the rest of the world.

When a war ends and soldiers come home how long do they enjoy the end of the fighting before they blend back in. One day you are killing people then at some point you are filling out job applications, mowing the yard and taking out the trash.

So many things about cancer are difficult. Transition is one of them. Moving between these worlds is not my forte. But like everything else, I'll figure it out.

08/16/2019

Finito . . . Maybe, possibly, for now.

08/05/2019

When you've been at this awhile you figure some things out. There is fatigue and even pain these days. It's not easy. But I have learned how to be the son of a bitch it takes. Yes sweating is required to get the point across. I often think of Lt Dan on the mast of the boat yelling at god. That's the visual of what lives in my mind. I'll take it. I'll do it. I'm not impress by what has been thrown at me. "Is that all you've got?"
What really hurts me most is what this does to my wife and kids. My wife's car was junk. We finally got a used car she liked. It meant a lot to me for us to buy her something she liked. I want the car to be something fun for her and not a roulette game of when will it stop running again. There are about a million things I want for my kids. Will I quit? Hell no. It's going to take way more for me to abandon my family. But I know that feeling. One more round of chemo in this bout. I would sit in that chair now if I could.

What do you do when you or your loved one wants to quit the cancer fight? In this blog post, Tambre reveals how she handled the night her husband looked up from the dining room table where he’d been sitting with his head in his hands trying to breathe, and told her he wanted to give up.

07/18/2019

Day two of chemo is much easier. Just an hour or so of chemo drip but you go into it not feeling as good.
Today I sat next to Richard again. I just know him by first name and that he has colon cancer. Because of the kind it is and how far advanced it was he gets chemo every other week for the rest of his life or the science changes. He’s been at this for 2 years. He also golfs 18 holes every Sunday. When my drugs don’t put me to sleep we talk a lot, about everything. Sometimes Cathy is there. I can’t remember her routine but it’s been going for years. A lot of talking and laughing. A lot of respect for each other. The chemo room is an amazing place.

07/16/2019

Just one hour left in today’s chemothon so pick up those phones and call your pledges in now. 😆Because the chemo pole won’t fit in the van it’s Lunchable time.
I get tons of Benadryl and sleep most of the time so those are the best jokes I have right now.

07/12/2019

I get chemo Tuesday. I feel like I am in a race but instead of trying to get to Tuesday as soon as I can I have to zig zag and see and do as much as I can before then. There's plenty to do too.
I've always thought the worst part of cancer is the time it steals. Whether it's the actual time at appointments or the time you lose due to the energy it steals it from you. You lose so much time from work and family. That's the part I hate the most.

07/02/2019

Been busy but I got the word a couple weeks ago.
"Complete Remission"
Still 2 chemos to go to mop up but bout 4 comes to a close.

06/18/2019

I had a great time on the road working the NBA Finals. Even ran most of a mile one night. However I came home and 2 days later developed a case of diverticulitis (an infection in my intestines). Probably no chemo this week. I hate complications. Even small ones.
Wearing my new shirt anyway.