US Marriage Laws

US Marriage Laws We have all the information you need to obtain a marriage license and find a ceremony officiant in your area.

On our site you will find a summary of each state’s laws regarding premarital procedures, including blood tests, marriage license fees, waiting periods before marriage, and the like. Because state laws in this area have been changing rapidly, many states have recently eliminated blood tests and or physical exams. You should check with your county marriage license bureau office, county clerk’s, city clerk’s, or town clerk’s office before making any wedding or travel plans.

01/04/2024

• January 4 •

There is no method or discipline or system of any kind that can ever command the spirit to be present.

— Tom Sampon

A man in the process of growth and recovery asks the question, “How shall I develop a relationship with my Higher Power?” The first answer is usually, “You can decide to be open to the spiritual messages that come your way.” Some experiences in life can be mastered and directed, as in performing a task or going on a trip. We can have other experiences only by being receptive. They come our way, as in the growing of a friendship or the unpredictable events on a trip.

To be receptive, we must not be so busy with what we can control that we fail to notice all the experiences that are there for us. Our senses need to be open to see what is around us and hear what is in the air. We must breathe in the beauty and pain of life. When there is a message in our experiences, let us read it and not demand it fit our narrow, logical minds.

Today, I pray that I will be open to receive the spirit on its own terms.

01/03/2024

• January 3 •

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.

— Ursula K. Le Guin

Our relationships are alive. We don’t control them and neither do the other people involved. We certainly influence our relationships—and if we are aware, we see they also have their own yeast. Whether we are talking of a love relationship with our spouse, lover, children, friends, or parents, it is a very fluid and dynamic affair. If we are actively involved with the other person and give time and nourishment to the relationship, it will grow. But if we are passive and only waiting, the relationship will grow stale.

God speaks to us through other people. Our relationship with our Higher Power influences our relationships with all the people in our lives. Today, we can nurture our relationships with time, tolerance, and honesty. In turn, we will be nourished.

May this day be one in which I give attention to those I love.

01/02/2024

• January 2 •

Healthy Limits

Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits is connected to all phases of recovery: growing in self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves.

Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries.

Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We’ll set a limit when we’re ready, and not a moment before. So will others.

There’s something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we’re controlling others, but because we’ve changed.

Today, I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me.

Las Vegas is streaming and it is good. Thanks Peacock, for giving me something to watch in 2024!
01/01/2024

Las Vegas is streaming and it is good. Thanks Peacock, for giving me something to watch in 2024!

01/01/2024

• January 1 •

Prayer for Healing

Higher Power, You have told us to ask and we will receive, to seek and we will find, to knock and You will open the door to us.

I trust in Your love for me and in the healing power of Your compassion. I praise You and thank You for the mercy You have shown to me.

Higher Power, I am sorry for all my mistakes. I ask for Your help in removing the negative patterns of my life. I accept with all my heart Your forgiving love.

I ask for the grace to be aware of the character defects that exist within myself. Let me not offend You by my weak human nature, or by my impatience, resentment, or neglect of people who are a part of my life. Rather, teach me the gift of understanding and the ability to forgive, just as You continue to forgive me.

I seek Your strength and Your peace so that I may become Your instrument in sharing those gifts with others.

Guide me in my prayer that I might know what needs to be healed and how to ask You for that healing.

It is You, Higher Power, whom I seek. Please enter the door of my heart and fill me with the presence of Your spirit now and forever.

I thank You, God, for doing this.

12/31/2023

• December 31 •

Affirming the Good

Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.

— BEYOND CODEPENDENCY

Wait, and expect good things—for yourself and your loved ones.

When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours.

See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment.

Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become.

Wait, and expect good things.

Today, when I think about the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.

12/30/2023

• December 30 •

Build Your Assets

We all have character defects that can block us from being our best self. We lessen our defects as we build our assets.

Action

Character defects include things like anger, arrogance, greed, self-pity, dishonesty, impatience, intolerance, jealousy, laziness, perfectionism, or being selfish or controlling. These defects block us from building and maintaining spiritual connections. Almost all character defects come from a lack of acceptance, willingness, or humility. They can also come from our protective instincts to try to deal with our fear or shame.
Some young adults in recovery struggle with becoming too quick to anger. Some are easily arrogant and often feel that they “know best.” Others are easily jealous of what other people seem to have in life, such as being envious of the most popular people at school or work.

What defects of character keep you from being the person you want to be? Focus on one thing to work on today. What defects can you let go of? Can you replace fear and control with acceptance and faith?

Thought for the Day

“The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice.”

12/29/2023

• December 29 •

Moving On

Learn the art of acceptance. It’s a lot of grief.

— CODEPENDENT NO MORE

Sometimes, as part of taking care of ourselves, it becomes time to end certain relationships. Sometimes, it comes time to change the parameters of a particular relationship.

This is true in love, in friendships, with family, and on the job.

Endings and changes in relationships are not easy. But often, they are necessary.

Sometimes, we linger in relationships that are dead, out of fear of being alone or to postpone the inevitable grieving process that accompanies endings. Sometimes, we need to linger for a while, to prepare ourselves, to get strong and ready enough to handle the change.

If that is what we are doing, we can be gentle with ourselves. It is better to wait until that moment when it feels solid, clear, and consistent to act.

We will know. We will know. We can trust ourselves.

Knowing that a relationship is changing or is about to end is a difficult place to be in, especially when it is not yet time to act but we know the time is drawing near. It can be awkward and uncomfortable, as the lesson draws to a close. We may become impatient to put closure on it, but not yet feel empowered to do that. That’s okay. The time is not yet right. Something important is still happening. When the time is right, we can trust that it will happen. We will receive the power and the ability to do what we need to do.

Ending relationships or changing the boundaries of a particular relationship is not easy. It requires courage and faith. It requires a willingness on our part to take care of ourselves and, sometimes, to stand alone for a while.

Let go of fear. Understand that change is an important part of recovery. Love yourself enough to do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and find enough confidence to believe that you will love again.

We are never starting over. In recovery, we are moving forward in a perfectly planned progression of lessons. We will find ourselves with certain people—in love, family, friendships, and work—when we need to be with them. When the lesson has been mastered, we will move on. We will find ourselves in a new place, learning new lessons, with new people.

No, the lessons are not all painful. We will arrive at that place where we can learn, not from pain, but from joy and love.

Our needs will get met.

Today, I will accept where I am in my relationships, even if that place is awkward and uncomfortable. If I am in the midst of endings, I will face and accept my grief. God, help me trust that the path I am on has been perfectly and lovingly planned for me. Help me believe that my relationships are teaching me important lessons. Help me accept and be grateful for middles, endings, and new beginnings.

12/28/2023

• December 28 •

He is a man whom it is impossible to please, because he is never pleased with himself.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Many of us grew up trying to please our fathers and feeling we never got the approval we needed. Perhaps our fathers couldn’t feel pleased with themselves. Now it is time to take stock of ourselves and ask whether we are perpetuating the same pattern in our own lives. If we still feel unhappy with ourselves, we may never be satisfied with anyone else either. Spouses, children, bosses, even the parking lot attendant may receive the brunt of our self-disapproval. We don’t totally change these patterns in an instant. We change them one day at a time.

Today, we have before us a small piece of the future. We can begin by treating ourselves decently. Maybe we can’t feel a strong sense of personal approval yet, but we can give ourselves some basic respect. We can start by remembering we have the love of God. We can affirm at least one positive thing about ourselves. After some positive reflection, we will have more to give to others.

Today, I will give myself approval for at least one thing.

12/28/2023

• December 28 •

The human heart dares not stay away too long from that which hurt it most. There is a return journey to anguish that few of us are released from making.

— Lillian Smith

As the sore tooth draws our tongue, so do rejections, affronts, and painful criticisms, both past and present, draw our minds. We court self-pity, both loving and hating it. But we can change this pattern. First we must decide we are ready to do so. The program tells us we must become “entirely ready.” And then we must ask to have this shortcoming removed.

The desire to dwell on the injustices of our lives becomes habitual. It takes hours of our time. It influences our perceptions of all other experiences. We have to be willing to replace that time-consuming activity with one that’s good and healthy.

12/25/2023

• December 25 •

The Holidays

Sometimes, the holidays are filled with the joy we associate with that time of year. The season flows. Magic is in the air.

Sometimes, the holidays can be difficult and lonely.

Here are some ideas I’ve learned through personal experience, and practice, to help us get through difficult holidays:

Deal with feelings, but try not to dwell unduly on them. Put the holidays in perspective: A holiday is one day out of 365. We can get through any 24-hour period.

Get through the day, but be aware that there may be a post-holiday backlash. Sometimes, if we use our survival behaviors to get through the day, the feelings will catch up to us the next day. Deal with them too. Get back on track as quickly as possible.

Find and cherish the love that’s available, even if it’s not exactly what we want. Is there someone we can give love to and receive love from? Recovering friends? Is there a family who would enjoy sharing their holiday with us? Don’t be a martyr; go. There may be those who would appreciate our offer to share our day with them.

We are not in the minority if we find ourselves experiencing a less-than-ideal holiday. How easy, but untrue, to tell ourselves the rest of the world is experiencing the perfect holiday, and we’re alone in conflict.

We can create our own holiday agenda. Buy yourself a present. Find someone to whom you can give. Unleash your loving, nurturing self and give in to the holiday spirit.

Maybe past holidays haven’t been terrific. Maybe this year wasn’t terrific. But next year can be better, and the next a little better. Work toward a better life—one that meets your needs. Before long, you’ll have it.

God, help me enjoy and cherish this holiday. If my situation is less than ideal, help me take what’s good and let go of the rest.

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