Twistedpalms Salty Adventures

04/26/2025

04/25/2025

We got my grandson his first Arkansas rainbow! Great day floating the river!

04/24/2025

Fishing the White River in Arkansas.

04/20/2025

We would like to wish everyone a Happy Easter.

04/18/2025

I’m so over all this f-ing wind! Who wants my boat?

04/18/2025

Copied from another charter but thought it was hilarious! Enjoy

Hey y’all. I’m a charter captain out of Savannah. I run a center console—no cabin, no shade, no toilet... just salt, sweat, and questionable decisions. It's like Uber… if the car was on water, your driver smelled like bait, and you tipped him in Busch Light.

People always say, 'Wow, you must love being on the water every day!' Yeah… when I'm alone. But the second I got a full boat of bachelorettes named Brittany, drunk off mimosas, asking if dolphins lay eggs… it gets spiritual real fast.

Like this one trip—six girls, glitter everywhere, one of ‘em brought a ring light on the boat. For what?! I don’t need your TikTok reel, sweetheart—I need you to not fall in while tryna twerk on my livewell.

And no, there ain’t a bathroom. I tell ‘em that before we leave the dock. Every. Single. Time. But about 30 minutes in, one of 'em hits me with, 'Umm... Captain, is it okay if I just go in the ocean?' I said, 'Yeah, as long as the jellyfish are cool with it.' She squatted off the stern and said, ‘This is the most free I’ve ever felt.’ Girl, you’re peeing next to a chum bag. That’s not freedom, that’s baitin’ a shark with coochie glitter.

And the dudes? Don’t get me started on the weekend warriors. I had this one guy show up in Crocs, Oakleys, and an unearned sense of confidence. He goes, 'Cap, I brought my own rod.' Pulls out a freshwater Zebco. I said, 'You tryin’ to catch a bass or get laughed off my boat?'

Then there’s always the one guy who thinks he’s the captain. Calls me ‘boss’ every sentence. ‘Hey boss, I think we should drift this ledge. Hey boss, the tide’s slacking.’ No, Brad. You think tide’s a laundry detergent and drift is what your Civic does in a Walmart parking lot. Sit down.

And the fish? Man, people got this fantasy they’re gonna reel in Moby Dick. Nah, you’re catching a 14-inch redfish and taking 42 selfies with it like it’s a damn trophy wife. And then they ask if I’ll fillet it for Instagram. Fillet it?! It’s barely legal! You want me to throw a butter sauce on a fish that just hit puberty?!

Then there's the freaky ones. No cabin on the boat, remember that. So when people start gettin’ handsy behind the center console, I'm like, 'Ma’am, sir—this is not a waterbed.' I see everything. Y’all makin’ eye contact with me while I’m steering and tryin’ to rub each other’s oysters. That ain’t right.

One couple got so into it, they knocked over my tackle tray and crushed my sandwich. That’s a serious offense. You can get freaky, sure—but touch my sandwich and I’ll turn this boat around like a pi**ed-off dad at Disney

And when the trip’s over, they always say the same thing—‘Captain, this was the best day of my life!’ Yeah, I bet it was. You drank 11 White Claws, pi**ed off a dock piling, and left your bra wrapped around my VHF antenna. I'm not just your captain… I’m your witness.

But you know what? I love it. I really do. Beats working in a cubicle. Every day’s different. Some days I’m watching the sunrise with a cooler full of fish. Other days I’m scrubbing glitter, vomit, and broken v**e pens off my deck while wondering if I should start a podcast called ‘Why the Hell Did I Let You On My Boat?’

So if you’re ever in Savannah, look me up. But bring sunscreen, drink water, and for the love of God… do not ask me to play 'Pontoon' by Little Big Town. That’s how boats get sunk.

"I’m Captain Mac. If you had fun, tell your friends. If you hooked yourself in the ni**le, well… you probably deserved it."

04/15/2025

Now taking Bookings for May and June fishing trips. Everything in red is booked or blocked, the dates in white are available. Give us a call at 606-416-2176, or go to our direct booking link https://fshb.kr/QCP5KsD472

04/15/2025

. Let’s vote best of the best!

04/14/2025

Discover the fascinating history of Pensacola's beaches, where sugar-white sands meet rich cultural heritage. From the early Native American tribes to the vibrant art scene today, these shores have inspired countless stories and creations.

04/14/2025

Caught this beast on a deep drop on the way back in from the rigs today. Sharks were active, everything else we pulled up got wrecked on the way up!

04/12/2025

True Grit American Bistro good eats y’all

The people have spoken, and we've obeyed! You clamored for rice bowls, and now we're proud to present our chicken teriyaki bowl. Stroll in tonight, and Brandi will dish out a heaping helping of flavor that's guaranteed to put a smile on your face!

04/12/2025

Discover the thrill of spring fishing! Book your private fishing charter today and reel in unforgettable memories on the water.

04/12/2025

Embrace the beauty of spring with a breathtaking sunset cruise. Experience the vibrant colors of the sky as you sail into the evening, creating unforgettable memories on the water.

https://Twistedpalmssaltyadventures.com

04/11/2025

Thank you Finn, Noah, and Marcus for a great 3 hour trip on the water. We found the Spanish then the Dolphins found us. We managed to get a few in before they got them.

Twistedpalmssaltyadventures.com