Body and Soul Food; Spiritual living, Stacey LoveJoy, Spiritual Counseling

02/15/2019

Boom✨

Any discomfort I have in relationship with you, is always about me. If I think my problem is you, there is no solution. We are here to mirror each other's work. You have been placed on my path to expose me to me. If I inventory my experience with you, I can always find the place where I dropped my own ball; abandoned myself, didn't ask for what I wanted directly, or didn't set a boundary (just to name a few). This hands the power over my experience back to me. It shows me that I am working to learn about me and my choices. I have no idea what's happening for you despite what my stories try to tell me. When a bell goes off in your relationship it is an opportunity for you to compassionately be with yourself first. Ask the hard questions and then meet up again with the person who the bell rang with and share what you each figured out about yourselves. And there needs to be a commitment to safety around doing this. In a partnership there needs to be a fundamental understanding that this is the work or prepare to want to bang your head on the wall trying to solve a problem that isn't the problem. The real work is how do I love myself in my imperfections and bring a more conscious love as a result of my love for myself? We so want others to compensate for our own lack. This is not how it works. No one else can see all the delicate, intricate parts of your own heart. You must be the captain of your own ship. Make sure you are ok with you before you ask someone else to change. When we need someone else to be a certain way so we can feel ok, we will be setting ourselves up for much disappointment. You really do have everything you need inside YOU. Relationships are not here to complete us. They are here to tear down the walls that we have that blind us from seeing ourselves as the wounded, recovering humans that we are, and others are. No more pretending we have our s**t together. We don't. It helps greatly if everyone involved has a reverence for this truth. Being a grown up does not mean you are all done growing. It means accepting that life is a never ending pool of growing opportunities. And honey, you are not alone...
Big Love, Stacey

02/14/2019

Uh huh...yep

There is no one like you. There is no competition. There is only your own insecurities about yourself to contend with. You get to decide if you are good enough; if you matter. If we place that job in the hands of another, it only reflects back what we truly believe about ourselves. We can not feel value if we don't first value ourselves. Each one of us is unique and special. We each bring our own light to the table. Shine as you wish and know that the light you extend out from yourself will draw that light from others to you. You are irreplaceable in this world. Just be the incredible version of yourself that you all ready are, it is enough! Big Love, Stacey

08/01/2018

01/20/2018

Who ever designed this thing called life was a genius. This power created each one of us with uniqueness.

This uniqueness is innate. We did not come here to learn it. We came here to embody it to its fullest.

If you happen to come from an environment that said ‘Be more of who you are...’ then you are ahead of the game.

Most of us, through no fault of our own (it’s just how this evolution works), were more evolved than the generations before us. And this made those older generations uncomfortable. They ssshhed us, they tried to get us to conform, they tried in their own way to help us survive.

So we come out of these systems riddled with habits that keep us from fully embracing our power.

So first, we recover. Through the grace of this power, we find our people; the ones who say ‘Be more’
‘Say more’ and we slowly come out of our hiding places.

We begin to see that as we reach out in service to our fellow man, that people show up like parts of a puzzle. You need something and my unique piece fits for you. I share my story and some part answers your questions. Suddenly my struggle has meaning and purpose.

What a gift.

Not everyone is for me, or you. And there are millions of pieces in this big beautiful world. And we are meant to find each other.

And there is enough.

By me being fully me and you being fully you, we magically find exactly what we are meant to find.

So, what I do, uniquely is meant for my unique people. The same is true for you. Be more of who you truly are and you will find your purpose, your job, your healing, your people, your gifts.

You can’t mess it up. It’s a given. A blessing that we all get to share.

If this resonates with you, or if you have questions, feel free to contact me.
[email protected]
I would love to talk to you...I work with individuals and groups and I do retreats in Arizona. I love to be of service any way I can to help you grow into the best you!

Big Love, Stacey

01/19/2018

It’s all connected, everything...
Sometimes the reflection is so we can see where we need to grow, sometimes it’s to see how far we’ve come. Everything is an opportunity for growth.

As we learn the power of fully stepping into our lives, we experience all the phases of change. We grieve, we celebrate, we get scared, we feel empowered, and we help others through our experience.

In all that we see we truly only see ourselves; our hearts, our struggles, our resistance, our resilience.

Thank God I can see you, thank God we have each other because I can’t always find me.

If I think you’re an as***le, i’m an as***le too. If I think you are amazing, it’s because I’m amazing too. We are all showing each other our strengths and our weaknesses.
And as I say, there is nothing wrong.

Ever.

If I think something outside of me is the problem, there is no solution.
Find that place in you, attend to it fully. Let it go or hold it close. Hold it close until you can let it go. BE with it. It’s here to show you what you need to see to either free you or help you up your price tag with yourself.

This is the path we all travel. It is the path to free up what we carry that we no longer need, and to hold dear what keeps us strong.

I bow to you;
YOU are also a me.
Big Love, Stacey

12/14/2017

No one, not nobody can touch your joy.

Joy lives within.

It’s those moments, those experiences that you can relive at any time that have filled your heart and spirit with love and light and warmth.

They are not outward, they are inward.

So many of our moments create emotional memories. Memories that we may return to in an instant.

Some haunt us because they call for healing. Go there, feel and heal them. Let them go.

Joy has an invitation as well. It is not always as strong of a muscle to pull us in. Build the muscle.

Invite yourself to conjure your joy. Revisit it often. It can nourish your spirit over and over.

Go into that space inside of you. This is where you may reside anytime you wish.

Injoy your life and then let the light beam from you out into the world.

It is from THAT space that we may create the energy that allows us to go beyond the edges of our past hurts into a life beyond our wildest dreams...

Big Love, Stacey

11/06/2017

Sometimes the greatest spiritual truth we have is remembering that we don’t know anything.

We think we know; we fear the possibilities.

And, really, we know nothing.

There is great relief in this truth.

We really can’t mess it up because we aren’t in charge.

And all the mess is part of the divine plan to grow us; to make us willing to embrace whatever change is necessary to be free from our self imposed suffering.

In my lifetime, I have imagined a million scenarios about how life was going to go and one of them almost came true.

That’s a lot of stress based on my imagination.

I have been pleasantly surprised before, during and after to see the divine plan unfold and blow my mind.

So today, I sit with my discomfort around not knowing. This really is the culprit of my trying to predict.

And all is well becomes my mantra.
Because until I have all the information, ALL is WELL.

And when I have all the information, the next steps reveal themselves one at a time.

And I believe we are wired to deal with things one step at a time. If we try to solve all our problems at once we would go crazy and take others with us.

We can’t escape the work of good human growth. And we CAN look for a more loving way to be with life as it unfolds.

For me, I don’t know nothin!

Big ferocious LOVE, Stacey

10/04/2017

Personal power is choice.

Each step you take to stand in the true power of who you are will propel you to the next level of absolutely freakin falling in love with who you truly are...

We need to see and experience that we are not who we thought we were

We are so much more

And building that muscle creates a whole new level of passion for living

When our old selves have sometimes wanted nothing but to die from who we thought we were.

This is how we grow into the powerful beings that we are.

These moments are what make people dance in the street!

And allow them to be of service using all the gifts that they naturally have to offer.

The return on the investment of becoming is beyond nourishment for our wounded hearts.

There is nothing wrong with us that love and compassion and curiosity can’t cure.

Healthy self ~ Heal Thy Self

Shine on,
Big Love, Stacey

09/29/2017

Chances are, the dreams you have are calling you and have been whispering for years...and trust me, they will get louder. (Whether you listen or not!)

What would it take to lean in?

What if you let yourself be completely selfish for 10 minutes a day and hang pictures on the walls of your dreams?

What if that simple act begins to open doors you never knew existed before?

Do you feel a life energy beginning to emerge? And do you hear all the fears rush in?

I have had many dreams and many fears to follow and honestly, one of those fears ALMOST happened.

This is a time not unlike many other times in my life, and yet, this time, I am grabbing life by the ass and saying, 'Come with me...'

In the last two years I have let go of just about all the security I've ever possessed in my life.

You know why?

Because NONE of it made me feel safe. Instead it made me feel like a prisoner; in a cage of my own making.

I've decided that sometimes the best fuel for my life is the right combination of spirit and scared s**tless.

Feeling safe never motivated me to take risks; to step outside of my comfort zone and be the big giant force of loving light and energy that I truly am.

This year, I'm throwing caution to the wind; I'm packing my things and driving across country to start a new chapter of my life.

Now, I can list 80 reasons why this is selfish and impractical. And I'm doing it anyway. You know why?
Because my life has been calling me for decades and it's just damn time for me to listen. And THAT is reason enough.

We are all so amazing, so unique. The more I work with others, the more I am astonished at our incredible gifts and abilities. Our pure, Divine diversity.

My personal gifts have never failed to create an abundance in my life. Despite what my fears scream in my head. I have learned that I am not the one talking in there, I am the one listening. And today, I am very selective about what drives my bus.

None of my life, thus far, has been anything I ordered out of the catalog and yet it has been AMAZING none the less.

I am going to continue to trust that by listening to my heart, that life will continue to blow my mind.

What dreams do you have that you aren't listening too? And why?
One life, remember?

I'm amazed and I'm only half way through.

I made a promise to never abandon me again. I'm keeping that promise.

And I will continue to be grateful for the warrior within me who incessantly whispers that it's really ok, wonderful even, if I choose to SHINE.

I invite you to get your SHINE on.
I'll meet you on the road to a loving destiny, inside and out.

Big Love, Stacey

09/28/2017

One life people!!
Are you livin' it? Are you reaching for your dreams? Take a chance.
Throw caution to the wind.

Get your freak on.

Deeply ask yourself if this is the life you are excited to wake up for. If it isn't, get honest with yourself and decide to risk all the things you think keep you safe. Because without listening to your heart, you can create a life. You just might not like the one you create.

Consider your wildest idea and imagine being in that. Let that feeling grow and begin to show you the way. Follow the path of your heart and carry the rest of you with you.

You will be amazed before you are halfway through.
A bit of fear does the spirit good. Especially if you honor it and take action anyway.

Everything you fear is an invitation to grow. Get your growth on. Your spirit will dance as you do.

Big Love, Stacey

09/20/2017

THIS is where true prosperity exists. Follow your happy heart. Take the leap. Love your life, your work, yourself and watch how your abundance flows...
Big Love, Stacey

09/10/2017

Set goals, plan dreams, imagine your future, and then get moving. Directions come for each step after you take one. No one knows what's best for you. You must discover this for yourself. Listen to your heart, converse gently with your experience and then trust that you will be guided. There is no 'wrong' way. There is only your own path to manage; the twists and turns that you don't expect are places where you get to decide what's best for you. You do not have access to the path of others and it is not for you to decide what's best for them. You will need that energy for yourself. Those moments of noticing and thinking you know what someone else might need are distractions from your own uncertainty. Stay focused. Show up for you. There is nothing wrong with anyone's path. You don't have to understand to respect. Give yourself and everyone else the dignity to learn as they go. And trust that we are all being guided by our own individual guidance.
Big Love, Stacey

08/10/2017

We are in a time of great change and clearing out of all that does not serve our higher good.

This impending eclipse is all about getting very clear about why we are here, who we are with, and where we belong.

Anything that is unfinished about your past will come forward for review. Take nothing personally, especially yourself.

Listen deeply to your inner voice, it will ask you to take bigger risks than you may be comfortable with, consider them anyway.

Have you been listening to the call? If not, it will get louder.

We are being asked to bring the darkness into the light. To acknowledge the shadow aspects of ourselves and to find compassion for our humanity.

This is a time of great opportunity to deeply connect with ourselves, nature/spirit and the world around us.

WE are the ones we have been waiting for. Nothing outside of us is the answer. The answer will only come from within.

Practice exceptional self-care and know that this is a time of great soul evolution and growth.

If there were ever a good time to test your wings, this is it.

FLY. It's what you are made for✨

Big Love, Stacey

07/29/2017

Yes, there are new tools to be had, and the truth is, most of our adult lives we need to work to UN-learn the habits we have acquired in our lives to survive. Our spirits want to LIVE, not just survive!

So much of how we are in the world happens on auto-pilot. Or as I say, 'without our consent'.

Going from unconscious relating to conscious relating plops us right smack dab in the mirror looking at ourselves.

It can feel so much more powerful to think that the things outside of us are 'wrong' and once that perception lands, we are deep into a sense of helplessness.

Can't change what ya can't change...

The power will forever lie in taking responsibility for your perceptions, your experiences.

Actions, reactions, inactions can all be traced back to me and my own 'stuff'.

Unlearning the habits of defending and justifying and manipulating to get what I want requires a ton of self compassion.

Being an observer of myself and teasing out the bulls**t can be grueling work. So much of the rebuilding requires a decision to believe that I am more than these behaviors.

Self esteem is the 'throw around' word for what we all need to acquire more of, and I believe it's self compassion that is the true ticket.

I often wake up in the middle of my behaviors not liking what I am doing, thinking or saying.

And the choice is mine; do I beat myself for disappointing me? Or do I reach for the internal hug that I might need to let those learned reactions go?

My commitment to myself is the one I'm constantly trying to sure up. It's my personal responsibility to build a relationship with me that helps me let go of the things that I do that hurt me and others.

And so we begin again. We may fail again. Hopefully we fail better. We must unlearn the ways that we keep ourselves from living more fully in the light of who we are fundamentally,
Innocent.

Inside each and every one of us is the true spirit of who we are: Pure LOVE. Everything else is just fear.

So, sweet child, find the kindness within you to speak to your fears, to challenge the ways you keep yourself safe. Do not forget who you are!

Commit to the willingness to embark on the un-learning. If you have to, pray for the willingness to be willing.

You deserve to be the love of your life...everything flows from this place.

Big Love, Stacey

07/23/2017

The path of my heart has a distinct feeling; excitement with a big ole side a FEAR.

I've heard that the choices that scare you the most are the things your heart is calling you to do.

I believe this because saying 'Yes' to those choices has propelled me to make big, beautiful changes in my life. Choices that scared the pants off me.

Yet there was this small voice inside screaming for me to FLY.

I've spent the better part of 30 years raising children and caring for others. The question of 'what do I want to do?' came up many times. The answer was always 'not yet'

Painful, yet clear that I had other things that required my attention.

The irony now is that some of my closest friends are '30' somethings who are making those bold choices for themselves now.

I tell you this because I believe when it's time to listen to your inner calling, the Universe puts exactly what you need in your path. Someone else who is answering the call of their own heart.

I had actually learned how to silence that inner call with the 'not yet's myself. It was sort of on auto pilot.

What I didn't expect was for the call to get louder and more insistent and basically suggest a change that would take me across the country.

Every major step I have taken has required me to grow my faith. (Sometimes the little steps require this too!) I can feel my insides stir as I sit in the unknown.

Here's what I do know though; if I don't answer and I don't grow into this calling, I will be letting fear steal from me the very joy of living.
And I will have to live with that and a part of me will be denied access to that Joy.

Being a parent and a grand parent has taught me the value of safety and routine and security. I have stood firmly in respect of those things in order to grow little humans in a strong way.

And what I've learned is that growing a big human requires taking risks and accepting challenges that dare to strip away all those core values. And it truly is a dare, not a fact.

Letting go of what we think we know is part of the maturity process. It asks that we befriend our fears and limited thinking and grab the gold ring of uncertainty.

THIS very action in my life, has scared the people around me to their core at times. (Sorry, not sorry!)

For whatever reason, (not chosen consciously by me), I am here to live my life out loud; to push people into those places that scare them. Here's the condition though, ME first.

I have been fighting this dynamic for most of my life. And guess what? It's still there. And it still gets in line and changes clothes and then gets back in line.

I have learned that my fighting this causes all the resistance to the path of my heart. So with full on temper tantrums I have learned to do the 'thing' whatever it is and trust the process.

My experience has taught me that as much as the people around me kick and scream, they grow better.
It's painful to be the 'pusher' and I keep trying to quit but that bitch won't sign the papers!

So, in the words of Liz Gilbert,
Onward. My heart has more room to be loud today. My fears have more stories today. And my soul insists on flight anyway. If I have pushed you with my choices, know that there is a great big heart in me that breaks for you as well. And when you come out the other side shining, know that I am glowing in the light of you. And I thank you for sharing your big, beautiful light with me.

We are all much braver than we will ever fully know. Perhaps one day we can all hold hands and celebrate that bravery together.

Big Big Love, Stacey

07/22/2017

Be true to you. Not everyone will understand and the truth will ultimately always feel better. At least you know what you are dealing with. Trust your gut and push for clarity if you must, because this is your one life and you must live it from your heart.
As humans, we are going to struggle. We are going to waste countless hours trying to figure out what is happening to ourselves AND this big crazy world. Waste them anyway, because your life is worth it. We hide because we know that the truth may require action. Actions aren't always in line with what we want.
And yet the truth has always been like opening the shades and letting light in so we can see the next step. Steps are most fearful in the dark. Truth will lead. Your job is to trust and follow.
Big Love, Stacey

06/13/2017

So here's the deal...Want more relationship resiliency? Want to truly feel like you are aware of what's happening for you in relationships with others? Are you feeling like you're drowning in repetitive 'head banging' moments of not being heard? Do you even know what you need? Let's talk. Let's come together and realize just how normal the struggle is and let's get clear about how to navigate the terrain of relationships. I invite you to join my Body And Soul Food group to connect with other like minded people who really want to feel the full power of standing for yourself and the love you are trying to extend to others more successfully. Meet me there. Let's connect and grow up our understanding of what it means to be in relationship with yourself and others. I can't wait to get the conversation going...
Big Big Love, Stacey

06/12/2017

So...about 5 months ago I threw out all the poetry word magnets that I put on the fridge for writing sentences. I used to love playing with them. I wiped them all off in a fury one day. Today I found two words that escaped my wrath, stuck to the bottom of the door. And they are the best left over words ever....
This is the real work. Not surviving the struggle; enduring the happy!
Big Love, Stacey

06/10/2017

Learn to celebrate you✨

06/04/2017

Any discomfort I have in relationship with you, is always about me. If I think my problem is you, there is no solution. We are here to mirror each other's work. You have been placed on my path to expose me to me. If I inventory my experience with you, I can always find the place where I dropped my own ball; abandoned myself, didn't ask for what I wanted directly, or didn't set a boundary (just to name a few). This hands the power over my experience back to me. It shows me that I am working to learn about me and my choices. I have no idea what's happening for you despite what my stories try to tell me. When a bell goes off in your relationship it is an opportunity for you to compassionately be with yourself first. Ask the hard questions and then meet up again with the person who the bell rang with and share what you each figured out about yourselves. And there needs to be a commitment to safety around doing this. In a partnership there needs to be a fundamental understanding that this is the work or prepare to want to bang your head on the wall trying to solve a problem that isn't the problem. The real work is how do I love myself in my imperfections and bring a more conscious love as a result of my love for myself? We so want others to compensate for our own lack. This is not how it works. No one else can see all the delicate, intricate parts of your own heart. You must be the captain of your own ship. Make sure you are ok with you before you ask someone else to change. When we need someone else to be a certain way so we can feel ok, we will be setting ourselves up for much disappointment. You really do have everything you need inside YOU. Relationships are not here to complete us. They are here to tear down the walls that we have that blind us from seeing ourselves as the wounded, recovering humans that we are, and others are. No more pretending we have our s**t together. We don't. It helps greatly if everyone involved has a reverence for this truth. Being a grown up does not mean you are all done growing. It means accepting that life is a never ending pool of growing opportunities. And honey, you are not alone...
Big Love, Stacey

06/02/2017

You. That's right. And if you knew how much power you hold over how you experience your world, you might dedicate more of your time to taking care of you and how you feel about you. We are all beginners here. Study the map of you. Ask yourself the big questions. Get to know yourself so that you can teach others how to treat you. Life is less magic, more consciousness. We must choose in each instance how to respond to what's unfolding before us. The more you know about how you tick, the more consciously you can create. Sometimes we are just plum blind and a big mess shows up and rattles us into the truth. There will be a million more 'I don't know' moments. Keep trying. Keep holding space for yourself to flop about in the unknown. More will be revealed. Life is about the journey. We are all doing the best we can. The only person you can compare yourself honestly to is yourself. Be gentle with the commitment you have with you. You are the one you will live with forever. Live well.
Big Love, Stacey

05/29/2017

We are all spiritually haunted by something. Some area of our life that keeps calling us to look deeper. There is a constant invitation out there to BE more; to expand our ideas of who we think we are and grow the very thing we don't necessarily believe we deserve, or are qualified for, or just plain WANT in our lives. When we allow ourselves to imagine our dreams becoming a reality, we often find a pile of reservations. And there's the rub. How much do you really want to risk in finding out? How much will it possibly cost you to make the necessary changes in your life? Will you make a fool of yourself? Will others judge you? Hell yes. And who cares. This is your one and only chance at living. Play it safe? Or go big and feel the discomfort of the unknown. Having faith in your dreams requires really being honest with yourself. And trusting that what falls away is not meant for you and that what shows up is exactly what is meant for you. Having faith in your own desire for heart felt joy in BEing is a tall order. And it takes what it takes to move us there; maturity, experience. The dreaming is what matters though. Allow it. Grow it. Swim in it. The call will get louder. Whether you do anything or not, the haunting persists. Just know that the Universe is calling you to be more of who you are meant to be, in all your mess and all your glory. Allow yourself to get a little excited. You have not seen the last of you, nor the best of you.
In this case, the haunting is good.
Big Love, Stacey

05/28/2017

Know which road you want to spend time building. You always have a choice. The mind, left to its own devices, will surely try to kill you...Get in there, set it straight. Life is a learning, always. And the fruits of learning are the pavement you walk. Be in the truth that learning is the way. Life is happening for you, not to you. Sometimes we forget that part of the work is seeking to be one with what is, in a loving compassionate way with ourselves and others. All is well. See you on the path.
Big Love, Stacey

05/22/2017

I am good at relationships. Ya know how I know? Because I keep trying. Each one has taught me more about myself and what I value. And sometimes our values just don't meet up in a way that supports the relationship growing.
There needs to be lots of room for us each to practice new behaviors. We can't just take the same algorithm and plunk it down in a new setting. Relationships are about knowing yourself first, respecting yourself first. And then extending that out into your world. I honor and appreciate those that hold a space for me not to have my s**t together all the time; and I honor that I can also do the same. I value my own humanity. And I value my commitment to grow. Life is messy and amazing in the same breath. As you come into acceptance with your own personal way of being in the world, you will attract those who can be with you in it and those who will either make you want to be a better person or those who run for the hills. Either way, absolutely nothing is wrong with any of us✨
Big, Big Love, Stacey

05/21/2017

No need to chase. Just BE with your big ole self. Listen deeply to the things that make energy move through you to your core. When you feel it, imagine it more intently. Does the feeling grow? Take some steps in that direction. Do the doors open freely? Trust the obstacles. Ask questions. Stay open. Trust that life is unfolding just for you...
Big Love, Stacey