19/10/2021
We are told so often that we have to forgive in order for us to move on and to heal. I do not agree with this. As John Beckett points out in the article below, this type of thinking can be labelled as toxic positivity or victim blaming, I refuse to accept that if I can't let go of my hurt or my anger when it arises, that I am somehow to blame.
We need a new word, a new way to express our healing separate from those who hurt us. "Forgiveness" tends to bring our toxic ancestors, and people still in this world, back into our mind, when all we want to do is leave them in the past.
So lets come up with a term for the healing work, the shadow work, we have done and continue to do for life. Something that does not highlight the damager, but brings light and pride to us. To Me, To You.
We give honor to those who are worthy of honor. If someone was abusive in life, they are unworthy of honor in life or in death. If honoring a problematic ancestor causes you stress and suffering, don’t do it. We owe abusive ancestors absolutely nothing.
