12/02/2022
In honor of , we’re sharing a written and visual reflection from GMR StoryMaker and Brand Designer Claire Monkman.
“I was in and out of doctors’ offices from an early age. I remember questioning, “what’s wrong with me?” It seemed this question had no answer. After multiple misdiagnoses and medicines that only worsened my symptoms, I finally got my answer. I am Bipolar. It was validating to have a name for the rollercoaster of emotions I felt daily.
We found a medication that worked for me and stabilized my mood. I felt in control of my emotions and feelings for the first time. The medication continued to work until I experienced a manic episode in high school. I had been on the same medication since I was 10, but my doctor never adjusted the dosage as I grew up. It was scary experiencing symptoms after years of being treated and assuming the medication was working. However, once my doctor adjusted my dosage, I felt like myself again.
Today, unless I say something, people don’t know I’m Bipolar because my mood is regulated. Despite the significant impact it has had on my life, being Bipolar doesn’t affect my day to day. I choose to be open about my diagnosis, even though it’s not obvious that I am Bipolar. I want to encourage conversation and help shatter the stigma. I hope doing this helps others relate and know they are not alone.
In honor of International Day of Persons with Disabilities, it’s important to remember that you never know what someone is going through below the surface level. I’ve found a supportive community at GMR in Thrive, our Employee Resource Group for people with disability. I value the safe space we have created and the impactful conversations weekly around mental health!
Finally, a message to my 10-year-old self:
There is nothing “wrong” with you. The chemicals in your brain work differently, which is cool and unique. A Bipolar diagnosis and medication do not define you. You are so much more than those things. YOU get to decide who you are!”
