CrynAir - The Low Class Airline

28/03/2013

Good Friday tomorrow; the day Jesus was crucified. Surely S**t Friday would be more appropriate?

18/01/2013

It's snowing? Really? I DON'T CARE.

01/01/2013

UNHAPPY NEW YEAR!

28/12/2012

I'm all for the integration of other cultures and races. Anything to breed out the obnoxious, loud, smoking chavs that appear to be proliferating the country these days.

26/12/2012

Feeling headachey and sick today? What's what happens when you spend too long with your family.

21/12/2012

Another shooting? Maybe when the Mayans predicted the end of civilisation they just meant America.

21/12/2012

We're all still here then? Useless bloody Mayans.

20/12/2012

To help save trees and s**t, this year we won't be sending out cards. The money saved will go to me instead.

God bless us, everyone.

20/12/2012

Imagine this: It's the apocalypse - everyone is killed. You're flying with us when it happens. The passengers are the only hope for Earth's re-population.

What a depressing thought.

20/12/2012

The world isn't going to end tomorrow. We'll just secretly wish it was.

14/12/2012

Just the thing for killing innocent people.

You can buy all of these guns on the internet. // bradycenter.org/donate

14/12/2012

They use the same old argument that guns are for self defense. Those primary school kids must have really been terrifying.

14/12/2012

AMERICA: You don't need guns. You need help.

12/11/2012

Kent Police need to know there's a difference between "offensive" and "an offence". http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-20294171

A man from Kent is arrested after an image of a burning poppy and obscenities are posted on a social network site.

08/11/2012

Seat belts on planes are pointless. If we crash, no seat belt or 'brace position' will help when we're in a ball of flames.

07/11/2012

Well done, Obama. Bad luck Romney, Fox News and Donald Trump - you bunch of asses.

06/11/2012

All eyes looking at Americans to make a well-informed decision today. (Like 'who advertised the most' and 'who has the nicest hair')

31/10/2012

Happy Halloween! Remember, poisoning "trick or treaters" is illegal. Unless they're really annoying.

31/10/2012

We're creating 1,000 new jobs in the poor parts of the UK! E-mail [email protected] and beg for it.

26/09/2012

Ciabatta means "slipper" in Italian. That gives you a clue as to what part of the cow we use for our steak ciabattas.

24/09/2012

I love rain. It's the one thing that can stop overweight chavs from showing off their pierced navels.

22/09/2012

The iPhone 5 is taller, not wider, so it still works great with one hand.

Perfect for the usual wankers that buy them then.

14/09/2012

The royals call topless Kate pictures "grotesque" - what the hell would they call naked Camilla Parker Bowles?

11/09/2012

I'm not surprised they want to dance on Thatcher's grave. Any excuse to get out of working.

Tory MPs call the sale of T-shirts at the TUC celebrating the eventual death of Margaret Thatcher "sickening" - but the seller defends them.

10/09/2012

Olympics over. Back to our usual diet of cynicism and failure.

07/09/2012

Prince Harry's been sent to Afghanistan? I suppose that's one way to avoid getting pictured with naked girls in casinos again.

06/09/2012

I love that we've actually gotten to the stage where we're actually charging you before you've even booked with us.

06/09/2012

It's true, we have an iPhone app!... That you have to pay £2.49 for. We really are cheap bastards.

05/09/2012

Having trouble conceiving? Make your hair greasy, get tattooed and smoke like a chimney. Judging by my town's locals, it works a treat.

05/09/2012

Just think of our charges as "Excess Stupidity Fees".

05/09/2012

Bad move, . The fights, swearing and blood when people run for their seats is all part of the fun!

14/08/2012

Fun fact: The trumpet sound we play at the end of our flights came from my bottom.

14/08/2012

I'm all for these rail fare price hikes. It'll be cheaper to fly 100 miles with us than take the train the same distance.

13/08/2012

Right. Back to being cynical.

10/08/2012

VietJetAir have been stealing my moves.

Vietnamese airline VietJetAir was hit with a fine by Vietnamese aviation officials for putting on an in-flight bikini show.